Remember me?!
By annidavison
10 comments
I didn’t think you would :-p
Well, I’m back at long last; I had a very turbulent 2 1/2 years; after fixing up the garden and splitting with my man in March 2008, I met someone else online (just a friend from a writing site) who came to stay for a few days to help me get sorted out. All was fine, until his car broke down on his way up north (he lived 250 miles from me, his car blew up 10 miles away from my house!) and he was stranded here. Long story short, the friend staying on my sofa became the man sleeping in my bed. 2 1/2 years later, we’re married.
Meanwhile, my lovely mother who worked so hard with me to sort out my garden, and my step-dad who dug over the whole plot single handed, decided that our relationship was an aberration because there is an age gap between us and 10 months after we fell in love, she hired a hit man to kill me because I wouldn’t leave him, talked my 14 y/o sister into trying to kidnap my son, and had her 16 y/o’s boyfriend break into our house. After 18 months of death threats, we moved house.
And here we are in our new patch of paradise, 1 1/2 years of hell and 2 suicide attempts later, trying to get our lives back together.
The biggest problem I’m currently facing is my garden; it’s TINY! And the people here before us left a kids slide/swing set in it, which dominates the whole are. Problem is, my baby (now 3 1/2) took one look at it and decided it was his and no one would ever take it away from him. The “good news” is that in 18 months he’ll be too big for it and we’ll have to get rid of it (but that’s ok because at 5 he’ll be old enough to go down the road to the park with his friends), but until then I essentially don’t have a garden.
I’m looking at my option for the coming year; mostly window boxes and such, unfortunately. My Man has all these ideas for pretty flowers on climbing frames and a quarter of the garden for a BBQ area, and I’m just screaming “NOOOOOOOOO!” in my head!
Anyways, I’m back now, hopefully will be darkening many doors here again in the weeks and months to come.
Ciao for now!
7 Nov, 2011
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Comments
I have just read your blog & wow, you have had a very difficult two & a half years. I can really empathise because when I was 19 & living in England, on the other side of the world from all my family, I married someone from the Middle East, who my family did not really approve of. Long story short, after returning to live in NZ for a few years, which was on the opposite side of the world to His family, he suddenly disappeared one day & took our two little boys aged seven years & four & a half years with him .... back into the Middle East. I searched for my boys for many many years & had many death-threats from my husband's family along the way in the early years. I was finally reunited with my two sons after Thirty-one years, in April of this year 2011. They were both living in the United States & had actually come to NZ looking for me over a period of ten months in 1998, as young men, but I had returned to live in England & remarried many years before, so they found no trace of me. We had several months of contact on skype to ease us all back into some sort of relationship, & I then flew over to America with my husband in April this year to meet up with my little boys, who by now of course are men of 38 & 35. I have managed to build a lovely mother/son relationship with my oldest son, who has more memory of me from his childhood. Sadly, though my time in America with my younger son went well, he decided to cut contact with me a few weeks after my return to NZ in May, due to the intense pressure his father in the Middle East was putting upon him, & a feeling of divided loyalties. This has caused immense grief to me ... to lose him again, so quickly after finding him, but I have had to accept his decision & concentrate on my lovely oldest son, his wonderful American wife & two gorgeous small grandchildren. We are planning another trip to see them in July next year & it will be so hard for me to know that my younger son & a beautiful baby grand-daughter are just a short drive away from where we will be staying with my oldest son, & yet we will not have contact. Creating a new garden from a virtually blank canvas, on the property we have just recently moved to, has been a great help emotionally for me .... seeing it beginning to take shape .... watching the plants grow & starting to flower .... making the plans with my husband for the next area of garden .... all these have been a great distraction & very therapeautic. Recovering from surgery five weeks ago, has been a bad time for me emotionally, as not able to get out into the garden very much at all, but my wonderful husband did as much as he could on his own. Planning & making a start on your new garden, will be a wonderful calming balm after all the emotional trauma you & your husband have been through. GoY has been a total godsend to me, as it has taken my mind off things & I am beginning to make new online gardening 'friends'. I am sure it will be the same for you & will help to restore peace to your heart & mind as you see your garden beginning to take shape. I will look forward to seeing photos as you go along.
7 Nov, 2011
Wow, thank you for your comment Dwyllis; puts my familial issues into perspective! *hugs* to you my dear woman; I'm sorry for all you have suffered.
Also, hi Lincslass, good to see you again :-)
7 Nov, 2011
Wow Anni and Dwyllis, i can hardly see to type the tears are streaming down my face,what awful lives you have both lived through,and after what you have been through it's the gardens that have helped you to get over your troubles. God bless you both. :o)
7 Nov, 2011
I second that Tulsa, I always use my garden as therapy for my mind and body in times of stress...
7 Nov, 2011
Would you believe it????? my advert at the top is for slides and swings, adverts strike again, lol, or big brother is watching us...
7 Nov, 2011
How touching your story is,Anna...and your's as well,Dwyllis..most of us will never go through that anguish ..but I am glad you both have got good happy lives now,and your gardens to give you much pleasure...you have both got immense courage to tell us about your unhappy pasts..and have now got lots of new found friends to chat to on here..sometimes it helps to express your feelings in this way...I do hope so..look forward to seeing your garden as it evolves,Anna..and I am also enjoying seeing your lovely garden too,Dwyllis..take care,and good luck..:o)
8 Nov, 2011
Oh my goodness. What can I say? You poor things!
I am firmly of the opinion that hairdressers and masseurs and gardens should be subsidised by the national health service. When I am angry I go and dig very energetically, and throw clods of earth around: when I am sad I go and cry among the cabbages, and when I am happy I go and just sit in my garden and talk to the plants. Half a scrubby acre of catharsis. I think that's what gardens are for. Obviously I am not alone.
Good (or should I say better?) luck to you both.
8 Nov, 2011
Phew had to read that a couple of times to realize I wasn't making it up in my head what a terrible time for you and for Dwlyiss hope you both find happiness and calm... my life has not been easy but WOW feel like it's been a walk in the park compared to yours...enjoy your gardens and I will keep my fingers crossed that happiness will be yours for in the future XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
8 Nov, 2011
Yes I remember you :o) And welcome back !
I'm sorry you've had such a terrible time. I hope the future will be better for you and your partner.
9 Nov, 2011
Recent posts by annidavison
- Well, the good news is....
12 Jan, 2012
- Where to start?
8 Nov, 2011
- Oh my god....could the work almost be over?
15 Mar, 2009
- Progress
12 Mar, 2009
- Ooooh, my back!
8 Mar, 2009
- Ooooh, my back!
8 Mar, 2009
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Welcome back Annie, I remembered you and checked that I had the right person, hopefully your future will be both easier and happier.
Look forward to seeing more blogs now you have a garden to sort again, a garden is also a place to share with ones children, they grow up so quickly, your problems will be in the future if he wants a bigger one ,lol....
7 Nov, 2011