By Jillpalmer
United Kingdom
As a grandma of a toddler I am very keen to suggest a replacement for my son's garden pond. It is approximately 3 metres by 3 metres. I would like it to be drained and replace it with something attractive, maybe involving a sandpit. Thank you very much for your attention. Jill Palmer
- 20 May, 2014
Answers
Yes I agree with Noseypotter, a nice grill just under the surface will keep the kids out and keep a nice pond.
20 May, 2014
Your son will doubtless be teaching his child how to be safe around the pond… As a grandparent I know only too well the desire to make sure the small child is safe BUT this is your grandchild not your child and I would suggest you tread carefully before suggesting that they fill their pond in. I well remember Bulba grabbing our younger grandson but the hood of his coat as he tried to nose dive into one of our ponds!
In my view a toddler should not be out in the garden without an adult presence and should also be taught what is safe and what isn't.
20 May, 2014
your right mg I never came to any harm in my mums pond thow it wasn't very deep .
20 May, 2014
I second that MG, children are mollycoddled too much nowadays and don't get to learn about dangers in life... Not allowed to climb trees, the sack race banned in schools due to H&S, etc, etc.
In our childhood days all this was a learning curve and we became wise. We quickly learned that to do such and such would hurt and we either learned the correct way to do it or never to do it again.
I always remember the nicest part of my foolhardy education through life though... When my mother rubbed ointment on my knees or some other injured area of my body, kissed me on the head and said... There there son, you'll be fine, NOW GO BACK OUT AND PLAY. LOL.
I also think that people are more intolerant of children these days and they forget that they were once young.
For example, take a look at this eye-opener. Apparently the police were called to deal with children committing the appallingly anti-social act of building a den in a wooded area.
http://iacknowledge.net/police-called-to-deal-with-girls-building-den-in-woods-can-we-please-stop-criminalising-childhood/
20 May, 2014
Unless mom and dad have an additional pair of eyes in the back of their heads suggest that they play it safe and place some type of fencing around the pond ornate or otherwise.
20 May, 2014
Myron, suppose an antisocial person is roaming around in this wooded area. In this world today unfortunately one has to be hyper vigilant with ones own children.
20 May, 2014
Hi Myron agreed, for me this is all part of the 'Nanny State' as a child I would disappear off into the woods, along with their associated ponds, across from our home and not be seen all day! I remember a group of us jumping over various bushes and I ended up with a twig stuck between the two bones in my shin. Having limped home I was informed I was a 'silly girl' and when mum couldn't get the twig out was walked to the doctors surgery where I was told in no uncertain terms that I was a 'stupid child' as he removed said twig with no local anaesthetic. Did it deter me from being out in nature and running, effectively, wild, not one bit! Our children and grandchildren need to get muddy dirty and, yes, hurt, so that they learn. Wrapping them in cotton wool does not serve. Sorry Jill… oh and it will get no better as they grow older and discover the 'joys' of alcohol and hanging out with dubious friends.
20 May, 2014
The way that I would deal with it is this way. Sit them down and tell them under no account must they go near the pond and explain the consequences of what will happen if they do. Next time they go out near the pond watch them from a distance and see if your advice sunk in, it usually will.
If on the other hand they decide to ignore your advice and do something stupid you will be on hand to fish them out and say, TOLD YOU SO. Rest assured. they won't do it again... Another lesson in life learned.
My mother told me a story about something that happened to me when I was about 5 years old. I was always reaching out to touch the shiny teapot that we had as it fascinated me. My mother kept saying no and I couldn't understand why. Apparently my grandma said to my mother, let him touch it, he'll only do it the once, I did touch it, learned from it, and I never did do it again ;o)
20 May, 2014
Loostrife, we've always had antisocial people roaming around in the woods and other places. Just that in my days we had different names for them. I don't think that the problems or dangers for children have increased. We always had the bad men, etc.
The only things that has changed is children's perception of danger. This is because adults wrap them in cotton wool and don't let them discover life for themselves.
There's so many rules and regulations, intolerance towards kids and fear it doesn't surprise me that we are in this sad situation and most of this is our own doing.
We now have an awful situation where an adult won't go to a child in obvious distress because they might be viewed as a child abductor or worse.
With parental guidance let the children learn for themselves. It worked for me and I'm sure it'll work for them too? Children are more resilient than you think, they learn quickly and they bounce, ... Let them be children.
20 May, 2014
the biggest problem realy is that everyone just sits indoors on there computer including the child abusers . when I was a kid you knew who the dodgy ones were as your parents told you . also people used to talk down the paper shop,the post office and the pub or club . now all the perves can get in touch with each other but you don't even know your imediate neighbers let alone down the road . some estates in my small town are like ghost towns now . cameras everywear and people on social medier sites telling there life to anyone who cares to look at there page . it is right . theres two ways of learning and kids nearly all choose the hard way but if your close as Myron sais then know problem . of course theres always been bad people . common sense should actualy be called uncommon sense lol .
20 May, 2014
I agree with MG and Myron. Children today don't get the chance to live life. We had a woods behind us when I was younger. It belonged to the railway and at the time there was a six foot fence separating our back gardens and the woods, but no fence between the woods and the railway tracks. I don't know how we did it, but whenever we found a piece of furniture (that had been dumped) we would take it to our den in the woods. I remember there being settees, chairs and tables in our den, although I really can't remember how we got something like a settee over a six foot fence! It was a great magical time and I still wonder if our den is still there. The railway have now put additional fencing topped with razor wire next to the original fences and also fencing in to separate the tracks from the woods as H&S regulations kicked in, so it's not as easy to get into now.
We did go near the tracks, but never on them. This changed sadly when a boy moved into the area and did go onto the tracks where unfortunately he got hit by a train and died. Thinking about this as an adult, I think the 'local' children who had grown up with the danger of the railway track had grown to be fully aware of the danger and to respect it and knew to keep away.
Children today are wrapped up in cotton wool and are not allowed to risk take. Unfortunately, this then leads onto adults who are not able to make decisions and risk take as they haven't learnt in childhood how to deal with situations that may pose a danger or risk.
Think of all the educational value your grandchild would gain from the pond! The plants, wildlife, life cycles and the water itself! It would also offer an invaluable way of teaching your grandchild how to behave and act safely around water. Not just the garden pond, but any entity of water in the world and that will stick with your grandchild for life.
21 May, 2014
Our pond has a wall around it, just right for sitting on.....and not easy to fall into. I agree that children should be taught to respect gardens and the plants some of which are toxic, and toddlers should be watched!
As older children we rarely went alone but in groups of pals, brothers ,sisters and older friends looking out for the younger ones, we'd be gon for the day with a jam sandwiches and bottle of
squash, but then the roads were quieter and children played out as soon as they could toddle, well before really as the mums pushed the prams outside to keep them amused.....Happy days.....
21 May, 2014
I agree it is not for grandparents to tell parents what to do, difficult as it may be to refrain. You risk antagonising your daughter in law as i know from experience (I was the daughter in law). What we did was to make a wooden frame and fasten stout plastic covered netting over it. When the younger child was through the toddling stage we removed it. The educational value of a pond is great and so is learning to heed the warnings of parents.
Children now are so hedged about with care and protection they are in danger of growing up without any awareness of how to deal with challenging or dangerous situations. (Just as many live in homes so sanitised thay never have a chance to develop resistance to common infections. Over protection can be as unwise as under protection.
21 May, 2014
Jill you probably now wish you had never joined GoY and certain not have asked your question… Yet I a glad you did ! We need to allow our children/grandchildren to experience nature and I hope you have received and understanding from our responses. MG
21 May, 2014
I have 2 young kids and the oldest has fallen in a relatives pond - he was leaning over to get a ball. Needless to say he did not enjoy the experience. If the OP cannot get a grate to put under the pond (they are quite expensive) then I would be one to drain it and make it a border. I would avoid a sand pit as the sand goes everywhere (spilled around when played with and blows away when dry). It is also not good when wet (so that rules out 6 months of the year!). It is also very good at germinating weeds and for cats to toilet in.
21 May, 2014
Botanic, I'm sorry to hear that your child fell in the pond and didn't enjoy the experience. But it's something your child will never forget and consequently I'm certain will be something that they will never repeat.
Sorry if this sounds cruel, but it was probably the best thing that could have happened when it did, the child wasn't harmed and they will have discovered the hard way that things can be dangerous in this cruel world and it's part of the big learning curve of life.
21 May, 2014
Hi Botanic, sorry I agree with Myron… children only learn if you allow them to! Are you going to remove every toxic plant from your garden and then ring fence it to ensure your child/grandchild never escapes? As a species we 'have' to learn and we 'have' to make mistakes! We all learn by our mistakes, children included, Myron burnt his hand 'once' on the tea pot - he never did it again! And that is how we learn! Not by being wrapped in cotton wool but by making mistakes… sorry!
21 May, 2014
you could get a 3 metre x 3 metre ornimentle wraught iron cover so you could keep the pond . you could have a fountain so the toddler could run threw it . just a thaught .
20 May, 2014