channel on verizonFIOS

Che? Non capisco.

???? Je ne comprends pas.

???? Ich verstehe nicht

I'm with them

Mois aussi!

or as they say in Liverpool.
Tu eh der, yer wha?

Whilst we are on this subject, does anybody want to buy an elephant?

Yes please John, pink preferably. I've Googled it and they come in several colours.

Is it house-trained?

Do we have to make a trunk call to reserve one?

Is this question in code - can anyone crack it?

And is it alright to plant it out now or should we leave it till the spring and will it need pruning?
Is it me or are we all mad?
What does everyone want for Xmas?. LOL.

You have to be a bit crazy to be on this site, Docbob!

P.S. Don't know. Possibly a GC token??? Hehe - I could have fun then - and not get told off for spending money on plants!

Verizon FiOS, sometimes simply FiOS (pronounced fie-ohss -- fie as in WiFi and ohss as in lactose), which may stand for "Fiber Optic Service," [1] is an Internet, telephone, and TV service that is presently offered in some areas of the United States by Verizon.

Thank you Wikipedia.

I suppose someone should flag this but, heck it kept us amused for 1.23 minutes.

Did I really want to know that, John?

I shouldn't think that Goldie read that - he/she wouldn't have got that far after seeing the comments from all us escaped loonies!

Dunno about the GC vouchers Spritz. I got £500 of them and cannot find anything to spend them on!

Just had an Email to say that my elephant is in the post!

"I got £500 of them and cannot find anything to spend them on!"

Buns and peanuts Boggy. Buns and peanuts.

You could send them to me for Xmas owdboggy. I can spend them!!! :-)

Your garden must be full - and a picture, Owdboggy! I could also spend them for you if you like! I promise to buy non-acid loving plants. ;-)

What colour elephant did you settle for? I'd like to see the postman get it through the letter box

That would mean lots of freshly squeezed elephant juice.
Pink and other colours.

LOL

I chose a green elephant so that it could hide in the garden. Postman left a card to say we were out when he tried to deliver and that the parcel would have to be collected from the Depot. Funny really as I never leave the premises. Still I have changed my mind so they can either keep it or return it! Glad he did not do as he usually doeas and left it in the Greenhouse!

Will willingly sell you the Vouchers Spritz. £499 for them all!

That is it. I am sick of getting trunk calls at midnight to buy elephants. I am therefore selling the lot off wholesale. The pink and purple ones have already gone to Alcoholics Anonymous for £1.50 plus a case of gin. The khaki ones have gone to the army for obvious reasons. The white ones are with the W.I. for their next jumble sale. And the striped ones are under negotiation with Walt Disney Pictures for their next extravaganza. There was only one left. The gold one. So I am donating that to Goldie for giving us a very entertaining thread. Goldie, please send me $200,000 to cover post and packing.

John.

PS. Boggy. Have you searched the garden. It should be there by now so is probably hiding. - J.

I lurve elephants, now I can spell the word. What a treat to find these answers to a burningly urgent question while browsing, cos it's been and gone and gone dark again, and also I've misplaced my secateurs and hand-rake (melodramatic sigh).
I'm having tortellini for tea, by the way.

I think this is the longest list of replies on the website!!

And Goldie - if he/she looked to find his/her answer, now knows that we are all totally crazy. ;-)

Weeding, I just saw an elephant walking down the road with a pair of secateurs and a hand rake in its trunk, Hope this helps. LOL.

Spritz. I have just contacted an old colleague of mine, an expert in these matters.

He advises that if you expect sensible answers to a crazy question then you must be balmy. I would like to thank Sigmund for his advice.

John.

Try this to see if you are sane or not.
Sit in your car by the side of the road and point a Hairdryer at cars as they whizz past and see how many slow down!

That's not crazy, it's WONDERFUL! I would do that in the lane if there was room to park the car - too narrow. The idiots speed through the village doing 50+ mph in a 30 zone The number of times Henry and I have to dive into the hedge.....

When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
That is a good one too!

A van full of men in white coats has just parked outside my house, should I be worried.?

Yes.

We are in a 20mph zone Spritz. A couple of weeks ago a car shot past that must have been doing at least 40-50. I wouldn't have minded so much, but the constables inside hadn't even bothered to put on the blue light, let alone the siren.

Did you 'hair-dryer' it?

I've now tracked down the rogue pachyderm and stunned it with some hair straighteners (i ask you) so thanks for the tip-off, Dr Bob.
I love Owdboggy's idea to try in zoo carpark! That might tempt me to visit the zoo more often.
Do any of you know of GOYers who can help me w wormeries - dos and don'ts? My resourceful boss wants to make his own...
I should post a question.

It might be better, Weeding, instead of on this CRAZY thread!

I doubt if you will get a sensible answer here Weeding. You might get worms...but not a sensible answer.

Not get a sensible answer John, really.
My Grandmother had a wonderful remedy for anyone who had worms.

LOL.

Please NOT Grandmothers and worms! The old fashioned wormcakes (designed to rid you of them not give you them) looked like those sweets covered in hundreds and thousands. I still cannot bear even to touch those sweets let alone eat them!
Or. How about the comment made to my Uncle when he was working in a Hostel for released Mental Patients. Inmate siad "I have a piece of paper which says I am sane, that is more than most people have!"

Or Go into a Chemist and buy a big box of Condoms then ask where the Fitting room is!

LOL and LOL again! And again!

Re wormery - don't let your elephant sit on it

A cake made of worms Boggy? It must be a Birmingham/Wolverhampton recipe. In Yorkshire we use sensible ingredients like tripe and chitlins.

I knew that within a month of joining GoY I would have managed to turn a thread into total Marx Brothers type anarchy. This is exactly why I was asked to stop joking on another forum - and so left. Sorry Peter and Ajay. I can't resist it on just one thread. And it did take me just over the month. If you want to sue me, I'll send my address. Fortunately many of your other members are as daft as I am.

John.

And why not? If people ask VERY strange questions, they will get equally strange answers, won't they!

Indeed, and John I haven't laughed so much for years, I just hope we don't all have to fall on our swords.

We will all be forced to drink strawberry flavoured thread worm killing medicine. That'll stop us laughing!

YUK! I remember that! I wonder if it's still around?

Have just found a mail order catalogue doing overcoats for elephants, small, medium and very, very, very large.
Boggy order now to avoid dissapointment.

Too late, the local buzzard made short work of the poor pachyderm and carried it away to consume at its leisure. They breed BIG birds round here. Won't do it much good as the elephant had been overdosing on the worm cakes which we had thrown out for the moles.

I have lost my favourite Elephant, Gerald. I believe he has been kidnapped by Piggy Lee - what a swine. I am now offering a reward for Gerald's safe return - £1.50 and a case of gin.

John.

So sorry John, can't help you out, the problem is as Geralds are not hardy, he may well not survive the cold weather.
Bob.

Top tip, that Andrew, I'll be extra vigilant.
Would black vodka do for Gerald? We have too much of it.
Sarraceniac: you carry on. We just need to throw in a few gardening buzz-words now and again to qualify.
Maybe wacky threads like this just need a flashing warning sign at the start, to signify non-serious nature. I suggest a revolving day-glo elephant icon.

Oops, nearly forgot: buddleia trimming, wood-sawing (agane, argh) and taking my secateurs to the excellent Bromsgrove cobbler for sharpening.
Random thought -
One joy every winter: no flies.