Extracted from 'Snowball Oranges' by Peter Kerr

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ISBN.1 84024 112 8 (well worth UK £7)
- Exploring a quiet lane on Mallorca, his wife spotted
a ‘For Sale’ sign on a remote farmhouse which was
the kind of property they were looking for, where a diminutive lady could be seen watering the garden.
" As we approached her it became obvious that the watering lady could speak no English at all. As my
wife’s Spanish was only just approaching supermarket
standard, I fancied that there might be an opening here
for my ‘superior’ linguistic skills. I thrust out my hand
in greeting.
Her right hand moved hesitantly forward to meet mine,
and I felt a wet sensation spreading down the front of
my trousers.
She was still holding the hosepipe. "