On all Hallows Eve...

looks a bit empty to me

Beautiful building!

That would be a good subject to draw :o)

Lovely old church.

Plenty of places to store my broomstick!

it certainly looks suitable gattina! not sure you do tho!

mind you, i wouldnt mind a broomstick if it could fly me easily over to italy!!

There's a rather rude story I could relate if I weren't worried about offending some of you GoYs. In Italian, broomstick is "scopa", which, unfortunately also is slang for a "sh*g". I was trying, one Hallowe'en to crack a weak and innocent joke about having parked my broom outside, but unfortunately it translated as something far more shocking and salacious.. It entertained mightily the Italian friends who heard me , but it embarrassed my daughter so much she wouldn't be seen in public with me for months. Oh use your imaginations.........!!!

oh whoops!!!
made me laugh!!

I was mortified!

its easy to laugh when its not you involved!!

Lol...Gatina

You would have done if you'd been there, Pimpernel, and I've done even worse, I'm afraid. Very forgiving, the Italians, far less so daughters. I've probably made a load of howlers I'm not even aware of, too. It takes a daughter who speaks the language fluently to point out quite what an ass one is. And she does. Often.

When I was about 9ish we visited relatives in Germany. One day we were taken to an Old aunts house for Lunch, she, for some reason took quite a shine to me and would not leave me alone for a moment. Eventually we were taken to the dining room where a feast was laid out. I went to pull up a chair next to Mother, but was dragged away..." You sit beneath me now" she said, I looked at her. " Come, sit beneath me NOW." she insisted.

As my backside hit the floor my Mother said..."For heavens sake get up and sit "besides" her Richard" Everyone was laughing and pointing....I am not over it yet, every gathering some wag throws a cushion on the floor for me.

We're never allowed to forget these things, are we?

sorry pimpernel im giggling! but at least you can admit to it now!!!

Oh Sticki there is another childhood Trauma worse than that...............It involves a poor 5 year old, a retired Taylor/ Grandparent and the seat covers of a Stockport Bus.

I think we all have things we would rather forget!! but now im fascinated ~ and I cant/darent imagine what happened to the seat covers, the grandparent or the 5 year old.
you might have to tell all now.

My mind is having a quiet boggle all to itself, here, P. Do tell.

I can't...It's the day I realised that you can trust no one.!

Oh I may as well relate it to you but no Lolling..

Once upon a day there was a chubby cheeked, fair haired blue eyed child named Pimpernel. Out of all the seven children that he shared his parents with he was by far the most sweet natured happy soul. Being number five of the seven was often, it seemed to Pim, was not the best place to find yourself..... Pennies were tight in the House of Pim and not much came little Pimpernels way, certainly not an Etch-A-Sketch that he once asked for at Christmas and never got...No times were hard indeed and little Pim had to content himself with well used hand-me-downs before swiftly giving them up for the two children below before the last thread turned to dust.

One bright and glorious crisp October morning that coincided with Pimpernels Birthday curiously enough...A knocking was heard at the door. " Answer the door Pimpernel" shouted pimpernels mother, who was busy over a huge pot of steaming porridge. The man known as Grampy was at the other side of that door Pimpernel could tell by the Knock and the grumbling that he could hear. Grampy, or Grumpy as Pim liked to call him was not always welcome due to his Tinnitus and the fact that "It's like bloody Bedlam in here, I can't hear myself think !" was just about all he ever said. Young Pim opened the door...

***I have to get ready for work now Stiki/Gat

oh pimpernel, just as the porridge is tasting 'just right' and the wolf, i mean grampy has his foot in the door...

how long are you at work for?

All the best stories have porridge in them ..Fact

Im sure that is true and all the best story tellers keep their listeners in suspense ~ it seems!!!

**********The Parcel *********

Sure as eggs was eggs there he was.... Grampy all tall thin and clad black as a ravens wing, except for a blue box under one arm....Before lil Pimp knew which way was up there he was dangling in mid air just like the parcel. " Come on Birthday boy..Lets av a look see if you've grown."
I hadn't because I saw him a few days before , but this is a northern tale and Rickets thrived in the 1960's and a bowed leg could lose you an inch an hour under a watery northern light.

Bang! the door shut, booted by a clogged foot. " You There Trish ..? (Trish was Mummy I found out Later) it's Jack "
Black Jack had paced the hall in two strides and, as his hands were full, opened the living room door with Pimpernels head.........Trish was not there. Bang! went the sound as pimpernels head opened the dining room door........Trish was not there. " In the kitchen " Oh no! thought Pimp one more door....There is a lot to be said for open planning.

And so to continue the head-banging tale...

you are very good at this pimpernel ~ you should write a book.

It's not a long book Sticki ..I just have the one finger to type with.

Is that your excuse for keeping me on tenterhooks?

Mmmm.... I think from now on you shall be known as "Lil Pimp" - it suits you!

Is this in Manchester Pimpernel? If so it was one of three chapels of rest at the cemetery.I wonder what happened to the other two. There is some history attached in the website below. http://www.mlfhs.org.uk/articles/37-4_Philips_Park_Cemetery.pdf

The other two were bought three years ago in almost the same state for £1 each. The people who have bought them have restored them meticulously...this has no buyer. I will blog you some pictures of the three chapels over the weekend

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I hope Pimpernel will begin again???? please can you continue the story?

Lol...
Only just got in from work, give me a moment.

oh ok! i will be patient! thank you.

*********The Breakfast*********

" Michael, Susan, Carol, Sean and...Oh... what's your Bl@@dy name Breakfast ! " Bang went the sound as Trish opened the kitchen door on Lil Pimps head. " Sit down Jack the pot's ready, do you need feeding as well?...keep hold of that one.......For the last time BREAKFAST OR DO WITHOUT "

Thud, thud, thud....There came the rumbling from the stairs as the stampede for the best chair began...."Hello Grampy" said Susan

" It's like bloody Bedlam in here, I can't hear myself think !" said Grumpy ( I told you )

" Aww... Jack I told you to keep hold of him. Pimpernel get out of there right now...NOW"

Pimpernel climbed out of the dog basket and dragged Jill the golden Labrador with him.

" look at the state of you...Covered in hair again" Pimpernel brushed his jumper, there was nothing wrong with it.

****Skip Breakfast Sean Eats with his Mouth Open****

"Go...go ..go" said Trish ushering the tribe through the door to school......." Not you sunshine, go and see your Grampy. He has got something for you Pims MmWaaa"
Ewuu kissin' stuff.

Poor little pimpernel, I'm feeling very sorry for him. Will he even survive till lunchtime?

Next Episode...The blue Box

But will you ever get the box?

Unfortunately yes.

Oh, unfortunately???

It's very hard trying to be patient isn't it homebird!

*******The Blue Box********

"Go one." said Trish nudging Pim through the door "come here" she said pulling him back.
Pimpernel often found that he never knew if he was coming or going.
"Arms up...will you keep out of the dogs bed Pim, you are going to end up barking and scratching behind your ears."
The perfectly good jumper was gone taking half the skin off his nose with it.

"Come one Lil' Pimp, I've to be at work. If they dock my pay I'll 'ave t'pawn your Grannies engagement ring again." He tapped the big blue box and pushed it towards Lil' Pim who was pretending to be looking at his feet, but all the time keeping an eye on Grumpy. There was a nano second of a pause then.. Lil'Pimp leapt through the air focused entirely on that box, the timing was perfect, yes he was a year faster and stronger...It was his...........Oh no! just as his hand made contact, the box flew swiftly backwards TOWARDS grumpy. At the same time Grumpy pounced forwards and had Lil' Pim by the scruff.

" Gotya! wriggle all you want your going nowhere ".... Lil' Pimp was now in a head lock.
"Hahaa ha ha Hahaa ha...You're cheating Grumpy...No tickling...No...No...I..Haaha ha haa...Give up..I give up"
Said Pim, the hold loosened. Pimp was lifted up and sat on the dining room table. Grumpy handed over the box.
" Open it up...come on."
Pimpernel was hoping for biscuits and Thunderbird 4...He lifted the lid slowly, then threw it on the floor ripped open the tissue paper...and what's....

" Try it on" Grumpy intervened placing the Baker Boy hat on Lil' Pimps head and pulling Lil' pimps arm through the sleeves of a matching warm winter coat.

"Oh Jack....said Trish...It's gorgeous, that must have taken you weeks...and a hat! Say thank you Pim" Pim was looking in the box, definitely no Thunderbird of any number and not a crumb of biscuit. He was spun round Trish was fastening buttons and pulling Lil' Pim in to some sort of order.
" I took the pattern from that Gabardine of our Mickies and the rest was easy once I had the lads measure." Grumpy had indeed been measuring Pim for weeks, to see if he was big enough to wrestle bad Mick McMannus.
Thank you Grampy said Lil'Pimp and hugged Grumpy's leg.
"Oh ..Pimpernel you look lovely." said Trish " Snug as a bug."

I can just imagine the scene! It's a great story pimpernel, I'm sorry it's finished.
Have you still got the coat and hat? Is there a photo?
Thanks pimpernel, I loved your story telling.

Goodness, Lil' Pimp - you should publish. There's serious money to be made out there in Booker prize country. Jeanette Winterson shouldn't have it all her own way, and she's no better than you.

It's not the end.....I will hurry up and get it over with in two more episodes...Lol i go on abit

That's what we love about you, L.P., your "Going on" a bit - coudn't possibly be your garden expertise....... ;-))))

More? Oh fabulous - that's the best news I've had today!

*****The Journey*****

" You ready Pim? ....Come on, we are going to see Granny" Once again Pim had little choice in the matter. Trish had him in the "wriggle ye not " hold.

See that car....>>> It is made of wood.... a Morris traveller...Lil' pimp loves it. Seat up...Bang! Seat down. Seat belts are for whimps. Jack struck a light and blew a smoke ring, turned the key and they were off." off ...off in a motor car, fifty cops are after us and we don't know were we are".........

We were at Granny's house in Stockport. Why the Cops never knew where they were was a puzzle...Pimps dad was Inspector Plod. Never mind .....Granny means Biscuits. But first the cuddles....!

" He needs a hair cut... Oh Pimpernel! ..." Time stood still as a mill pond.
(I bet it's my ears..or my neck..or my Jumper)

I can see this so clearly it's like watching a film! You are such a good writer pimpernel!

me too!

is there another chapter ~ please pimpernel?

Granny stood tall, as Grannies can do no matter what height they are...Lil Pimps Granny was as big as a doorway but as soft as a cuddle.....Pimp was off to the kitchen...There it was....Oh My..!

Granny had three jobs....This was at Mc Vitties...A big Huge Bag of biscuits stood before Lil Pimp..........Granny was bound to say "share lil Pimp" but Pim was counting the Jamy ones and planing to keep them all ...whhaa haa haa. So young , so greedy..

Come 'ere, try these on ...Elastic mittens !

Lol Homebird...I bet that you got spit on the Hankey as well.

I'm planning to sew elastic to OH's gloves this winter. He has a drawerful of unmatched singles.......Maybe I should sew elastic to the car keys, too, and the other end to his cuff. I think he'd still manage to lose them. And the house keys, and the postbox keys, and the garage keys, and the summerhouse keys, and the gas tank keys.....
Love the Lil' Pimp Saga! It's so exciting!

Lil Pimp's Mummy and Granny ( note this ) where beating batter furiously. Did anyone eat parkin this year ?

No idea what parkin is but can't wait for the rest of the story now you've got me hooked.

I love Parkin, no haven't had any this year, we did have broken biscuits though, the only sort we were allowed.

'Fraid my geriatric teeth aren't up to parkin any more. Can't get the treacle out here, either.

Sorry, Lil, forgot to say, Parkin is a kind of gingerbread cake, made with treacle.

Lil' Pimp's Mummy and Granny where beating batter furiously, banging baking trays and sprinkling flour over the drop down formica flap of Grannies Shefco Kitchenette larder cupboard, that meant scones were going to be baked as well....Lil' Pim was off through the back door down the path to the gate at the end of the garden. All gardens should be like Grannies once through the gate you were in a play ground with swings, roundabouts a slide sandpit and...The forbidden Monkey bars!
Lil'Pimp made for the bars, they were only forbidden because Sean had landed on his head twice requiring stitches both times. Pim was not going to fall off, he never did, and besides he was not wearing roller skates as Sean was the last time. "Good job that lad lands on his head " said Grumpy at the time "Where there's no bloody sense...!"
After a while and having used all the facilities Lil' Pimp decided it was time to explore the cliff, this was a drop of about twenty feet or so where children went to break their legs in the summer holidays. "Don't even think about it sunshine. Come on back here now, we have to go....Now I said." Trish always turned up when Lil P went to explore the cliff...always, the spoil sport.
"Come on Pim...We are going on the bus!" .......How exciting was that, Lil Pim turned and headed back to the house...A bus..."Can I put my hand out can I , Can I ring the bell....Can we go upstairs..?" Lil' Pimp loved Bus rides.

Oh my word this takes me back, Lil' P! My Granny had a chefco, too! I can still remember the smell of it. I remember bus rides, too, before they had twirly machines to produce the tickets, they used to have a wooden board with spring clips on where they kept all the different coloured tickets - 1d was mauve, 2d was blue, 3d was pink, 4d was yellow, etc.... Why can I remember this and not remember where I keep the spare fuses or the hormone rooting powder?
GREAT story, how long can you keep it going?

Grannies was cream and yellow, with two glazed windows on top and another two small glass windows inside that drop down top. One of the inside windows said BREAD and the other FATS. And the inside of that drop down top was like a yellow gingham check....

My Nana's was cream and green with green and white gingham, and two little circular vents in the side to keep it aired, but it still smelled of stale flour and slightly rancid lard. Did your granny have a meat safe in the wall of a larder, with perforated zinc mesh, by any chance?

OK the rest of you, push off and make a pot of tea and some scones: Lil' P and I are having a stroll down memory lane here. You wouldn't think he was only 21, would you?

Lol...She Had a free standing one Gattina that lived in the pantry Perforated zinc on all 4 sides. I had it until I moved here I used to store plastic plant pots in it. I have got all her Pancheons that lived in there with it, five different sizes from massive to standard mixing bowl size. Unglazed terracotta on the outside and buttery cream glazed inside.

Pancheon! How fabulous! Now there's a word I didn't expect to come across on a gardening website! It's not a word you come across much at all these days, is it? I bet they're worth a bob or two if you've got a whole set. Do you use them? Breadmaking, I'd guess, rather than for cream-skimming.
My nana's meatsafe was built into the outside wall of the pantry, so all the cold air did as much as anything could in those days to keep the meat safe. It did end up smelling mildly sooty, though.

You still on that bus pimpernel? wont Trish let you ring the bell to get off??

Nearly done now definitely one last part

not sure i want it to end.

*******HOMEWARD BOUND*******

Lil' Pimp was back in Grannies Kitchen, which was now so warm and smelling of cinnamon and syrup. There were dark cakes and golden cakes and fruit scones all sat on wire racks.. Lil' Pimp never saw it coming...

Slaaaap! The wet flannel came from nowhere and within ten seconds face, hands and knees had been wiped clean. "Pull your socks up Pimpernel and buckle you sandal....oh come here." Granny always told you to do things then never gave you time to do them. " Coat on, hat on, Cuddle and a kiss.....MmWaa!" Euwwe. with that they were off. Lil' Pimps mummy had bags stuffed full of goodies yet still snapped her fingers "Hand." Lil' Pimp grabbed hold, his glove flapping as they went. Lil' Pimp managed not to stand on any lines and avoided all the cracks, even if it meant being dragged in mid-air at times.

There they were at the bus stop Pim practised stopping the bus (Stop the Bus was his fav Card game) by very clearly raising his arm....And here it came now..It was red and cream and massive "can we go upstairs...?" Mummy was rooting in her purse. Lil' Pimp was waving furiously at bus driver....Pim never knew if the drivers were going to stop because the you had to hop on at the back, buses had no door then and a an important man with the machine round his neck. This was one of the best bits...The mans fingers deftly turned little dials then whirred a handle and a ticket came out..brill.

continued...

"can we go upstairs...?" Pimp was off one step, two steps.
Trish had him before step three.."No Pim, down here..You can watch and see people jumping on." That was a thing Pim liked to do....some nearly fell off like our Sean would.
" Go on ..you have the window." They moved down the bus, passing the ladies who all had a headscarf on, knocking in to some.." Excuse me."..Pim knew to say that on buses..He climbed up onto the seat kneeling up facing backwards. The lady smiled at Lil' Pimp. " 'ello" she said
Pimp said nothing but held her gaze. " Say hello Pim...and turn around." that was all Lil' Pim needed, permission to speak to the stranger...He was off...... ".............................and that costs a thruppenny bit.....Two teeth fell out......Thunderbird 4" The bus juddered to stop. Lil' Pim nutted the lady and then flew backwards and landed on the floor. there was a lot of "Oohing" and "aahing"

" Are you all right" Trish said to the lady " I am so sorry, Pimpernel Scarlet..!" Pim was in bother now she only used his last name when he was in trouble.
" get up, sit round properly and keep quiet."

"But Mummy LOOK!"...
"Sit down...Shush.!" she held her finger to her lip and gave Pim THE LOOK.

type faster........

Continued...

" But Look Mummy....It's the same..It is. "
The lady smiled a Lil' Pim , but less kindly somehow. Pimpernel was hopping and pointing. He had the attention of the entire bus...When Pim got excited there was no way of stopping him....Well not that Trish would do in front of a bus load of people..
"It's the same...My new coat is the same as the bus look!"
The Lady behind started to chuckle..."oh it is " she said Trish looked at Lil' Pim who was putting his Baker Boy hat on and off the seat. " just the same." More people were laughing now.
Trish gathered her bags, gathered Lil' Pim and rang the bell. "Aww ...I wanted to do that." We were off the Bus and walking back To Grannies. Grumpy had made my coat from Bus seat material...I never wore it again.

The traumas we suffer at the hands of our caregivers :( How has it shaped your personality Pimp?

That ones not too bad.....The time I had to pretend to be twins...That's a story.

Lol, I thought you were going to tell us you peed your pants. Later :)

oh no!! i didnt see that coming!! you were really part of the [bus] furniture!!!

please will you do the twin story too??

I liked it Homebird, it was my Mum and Granny that didn't. Oh I wish I still had the outfit. Grampy was in the dog house for days.

poor grampy, he must have worked so hard.

what a shame you didnt keep it.

Just think, If you'd sat really, really still, the conductor might not have noticed your perfectly camouflaged body and you needn't have paid your fare!

Good morning,Pimms ! I told you I would look at your pics..but came to a stop,when I came to this..!..just got lost in your story..so true to life,and I can relate to most of it ! love it:o)..you have lost your way,as a postie,you should be writing ...It has been the best start to my day...thanks for the humour...we had one of those kitchen cabinets too..and the dreaded flannel ! Lol ...Luckily,I never had a corporation bus coat ,ha ha..could be a while before I reach the end of your pics !

Oh Dear.. I nearly deleted this pic as it has too much info in it Bloomer ..Lol

You crack me up, Pims! You're SO wicked.
Bloomer's right, you should be writing comedy and making a mint - far easier on the poor old constitution than hauling post bags. We've been telling him for AGES, Bloomer, but he won't listen.

Morning G...What with this and the Cess Pit story i think I have given away quite enough ...glad it cheers you all up though.. Nothing better than a chuckle is there?

Especially today,when its 'possing'down!.:o)I bet you never had some knitted swimwear..or did you? ..It almost reached the floor,when wet...not a good look..start of the 'maxi' fashion methinks !:o)))

Grey knitted trunks fastened with an elastic belt with a snake buckle......Lol..What were they thinking!?

Lol,Pimms..what a fashion icon you were..did we ever pass by,I wonder,on the beach at Blackpool? I'm sure I.would have remembered that snakeskin belt with buckle !!!
Shoulders are shaking here..:o)) .you are right,what were they thinking of ? LOLOl..

Oh No! Not "possing" again? SURELY not?

See what you've done Bloomer this little thread of embarrassment was quiet..Now you've got me running down the sands with my pants swinging round my ankles.

I'm not asking if that typo of Gattina's is with the S or the P :O

Think we've just scratched the surface..... ;)

Shuusssh !

Don't worry Pimp....crawling back to the sick bed. Don't dare laugh as my ribs already feel as though they are broken :/

Aww...go on..Get well soon :))

I just thought we needed a change of subject..and you seemed the most likely one to pick on,Pimms..sorry,I mean again :o)..It's just sad that one of us is obsessed with Possing,for some reason..could it be she is still washing her clothes that way,whilst playing on the washboard at the same time? ...strange people,these mountain folk !
..........
And Lil..a Posser was what was used in our childhood,to beat the h..l out of the clothes in a Possing tub,pre washing machines.. A lot of women had big biceps as a result..!

aw,sorry,Lil..I didn't know you were ill..get well soon,and please don't laugh :o)xx

Not my Typo, mate!

Oh I see... Possing NOT Posing. How vain am I ?

I can hear B's Knuckles cracking as she goes for the keyboard Lol.

i had forgotten this one ~ nearly!!

can you tell another story please pimms? its cold and raining and we all need cheering up

What are you doing here Sticki...You can't be following it still !!

well i just popped in!!!

Thought I could smell something delish cooking........

But!...you wou'dnae change it for anything...:))))

Lol....Hello fancy meeting you here...I will blame Bloomer ..Because she is away

Bl@@dy good idea...

Thought I would leave you in the shot,Pimms :o)

Shot! She is back!

Lucky you ! LOl..