"Chainsaw pruners"

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Andrewr provided the title for this anecdote. While Andrew spoke of Council employees my title is much broader in scope and refers to the many ‘landscape gardeners’ who have appeared over recent years with either a large trailer or powered chipper on the back or both, offering to prune your hedges. Know who I mean?

The enthusiastic ‘pruner’ could be pruning your neighbours’ hedge and knock on your door offering his services. No problem with that. Then ask him to identify the plants he’s intending to ‘prune’. On the basis of “if you can’t identify it, how do you know how to prune it?” This question killed their enthusiasm every time.

I NEVER found anyone who could name my shrubbery and if I were to have found someone who could, the next question was waiting. “How do you prune ‘xyz’ and when?” The whole thing only takes a moment to explain. Chances were their timing would be wrong and they had answered themselves so to speak. But if their timing was right and they had answered my questions correctly I was ready to say “go right ahead”. But it never happened, nobody ever got past the first question.

I try to do all of my ‘big wood’ chopping down so that it’s ready for November 05. The smaller stuff is left for the compost shredder towards the end of the month before the winter rains arrive in earnest.

• 26 Mar, 2008
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