New English words for your Dictionary

Oh my, this is brilliant...ummmm I'm going to need a think, don't hold your breath though....I may be sometime.

This is not as clever as yours. Its prounciation rather than a letter change so doesn't really count.

Taxing... (Tack-sing)....a joyful, melodic vocal celebration emitted on discovering the tax refund cheque you just received is for a greater amount than you originaly paid.

Yes - GF....you have got the idea!! Keep going please!
I had an email form a friend who suggested ....
DECAFALON The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you..

thesaurus = an extinct monster who lived on paper
metronome = Pixie living on the Paris underground railway [Metro gnome]

EXCELLENT...keep it up!!

footnote - 'the writing on the side of sports shoes'

Foot-In-Mouth Disease- suffered by people who speak before they think!

Clever blog Alzheimer, but wrong end of the day for my brain to function and come up with one! May-be tomorrow!.....

Fair point PG....hear from you all anon...time for beddy byes here too.....:~(zzz)

Paradoxical.......an airbourne medics bike

Please say if any of mine need an explanation. They seem obvious to me in my tiny mind by that means nothing in the real world!!!

I like that one!
Balderdash - A rapidly receding hairline

Intelligence ....a group of men seen in cctv footage

Codswallop...disipline for a naughty fish

Nice one MP

I havent got past the fact that a tax refund is my own money? The best I can do is a tuna fish is a heavy catch.

LOL, Denise! I just found a tax rebate cheque in a box, & was really chuffed til I realised its 3 years old!! Cant cash it! Its only for £11, but still!
Like the codswallop, GF!

Testicle - a humorous question on an exam.

What did the GOY dad say when his lad asked if he could garden Growson you can do it!

High Flyer ... a cabbage white caterpillar thats just chomped its way through yer veggies.

Esplanade - to attempt an explanation while drunk.

Still laughing everyone
MP, I love your testicle......am I allowed to say that???

Unicycle.......economical form of transport to and from a place of learning.

Bicycle......to purchase a two wheeled method of transport.

Tricycle.....a learner bike rider.

OMG...you lot are priceless right enough. Just come back this morning to find loads of laughs....and lots of superb entries for my Funny Dictionary!!
Your cycle ones are hysterical Gf but your Intelligence is ace!!
MP.....I think you and I have the same source..and I fell around laughing at the esplanade one, which I had forgotten.
Your high flier is terrific Bobg...and IS at least gardening related....which is more than this blog is....and I did wonder about starting it on a gardening site...but in view of some of the wisecracks that abound on here...I can see nobody really minds and I thank you ..one and all!! If nothing else it will give you something to mull over as you toil in your gardens etc on this glorious Sabbath...hopefully.

My only offering this morning is...
NEGLIGENT = absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

PS..Just re-read all the above and had to laugh out loud at your GOY one Drc.....very clever and appropriate too!

Thanks Alzheimer - is HP sauce when you have the cheek to try to borrow too much

Alzheimer you've really started something. I've had lots of laughs. How about - Herpes - what the wife won a prize for at the veg. show.
Wisteria - laughing until you wet yourself. Fondue - affectionate sheep. Oh well it's harmless eh?

Is Alsheimer what Als wife calls his zimmer frame?

EEEEEK ..you know, Drc ..I never thought of that about the zimmer...top of the class!! Your HP sauce is a classic too! And yes Mad...it is harmless...and I love your fondue....well I am sure I would too...but you know what I mean!! The wisteria and herpes are a pair of crackers as well.
I can see that there will be a lot of silent giggling going on in the gardens as we all rack our brains today!!

There'll we a lot of Wisteria going on on this blog then!! :o))

Do spiders use the webb?

I guess so Drc....which makes me wonder if an Arachnoleptic Fit is the frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web

He he. Is a rubicon mango - Ruby's husband leaving after she connned him?

I think we do have the same source!

Flabbergasted - appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Are you better Madperth?

In what way?
I've started Uni, which is raising its own stresses, but I'll get there. Havent melted down yet!! :~))
Thanks for asking!

Just had to correct this on another blog and this is what it resulted in - why do we fall over flags if they are flown?

LMAO !!!!! Just caught up on this one Alz !!! I shall have to get the old thinking cap on !!!

I read the blog Drc ..... was it the Union Jack ? lol :-))))

Yes it was he he - just shows how we can get things wrong!!!

Yes please SueB...your input will no doubt be scintillating lol!
One of my other "etail therapists" has volunteered the suggestion that ..
GARGOYLE is an olive flavoured mouthwash... :>>)))

LMAO !!!! I'm laughing so much I can't think !!! hee hee !

Lymph - to walk with a lisp.
Definitely the same source! I HAVE to get that book!

Nasturtiums- something you cast on another's character when denigrating them!

Ha Ha ...we MUST have the same source - but I only have an excerpt (which is one reason I was inviting additional suggestions!!) - and it doesn't have the nasturtiums - that is brill...and brings in the gardening theme of course :>>))))

The nasturtiums wasn't in it! Its what I say when I'm arguing a point; "Are you casting nasturtiums on my character?"

You mean these aren't your own !!!!! tsk tsk tsk !!!! LOL

The last one was! And the foot-in-mouth!

Mea culpa - not all of them...as obviously MP can vouch for!!
Having said that - there are a few originals albeit not quite "all me own work" ..remnants of family sayings etc...eg
Definition of an adult....= A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle

OK OK .....forgiven !!!! lol

I like that one. Alzheimer!! LOL!

Mea culpa and M.P.'s !!!! Love it, love it, love it !!

Sue's off on her own tangent ( a well-sunned man) again!

LOL !!! Fun to be had on Bob's pigeon blog Marie !!!

Dont like pigeons! Well, they taste great, but otherwise.........

My Dad used to 'cast nasturtiums' and always had 'foot in mouth' too. He's been gone nearly 40 years Marie so you must have the same brilliant sense of humour as he did!
He didn't pass it on to me in this type of thing - can't think of anything :o(((

Don't worry Lily, neither can I ! Too busy laughing !! :-)))

I get it from MY dad!

My chum has just been on the phone and when I told her what we were all up to here...she suggested that a chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. lol Not quite sure where she drummed up that one from - but there you are - she doesn't "do" computers so hasn't a clue what a blog is.
Mind you - neither did I until failry recently!!!

My old man's got a lot to answer for as well Marie !!! tee hee !

ALZ ... there you are !! Meet you at Bob's pigeon blog ! See what you started !! LOL

It's all YOUR fault Sue! I'm still giggling at the thought of Bob mincing about in a sheet!

Don't forget the prancing drunk bit !!! LOL

LOL!
Flatulence -The emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller

My mum had 2 sayings I always remember. When she thought someone had got a bit above themselves she used to say 'her mother did our washing'. when she was shocked she'd say 'Well I'll go to the foot of our stairs' funny what you remember. I digressed be back on track soon.

LMAO !!! Marie !

Rectitude - The formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you

It's no good, been off to have a think but still can't come up with anything...... :o(((

STOP Marie !!!!! You'll have me heading for the 'drawers' draw again !!! LMAO

one peruse s the instructions to find out it is disposable - one per use

Willy-nilly - Impotent

Now I KNOW .you are singing from the same hymn-sheet MP!!!!
I like the peruses one Drc...now that IS original.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high up

LMAO Alz !!

Touch quieter over here !! lol

Sal s l ad bowls so does his tory brother

Yes Sue..it is a bit less rowdy over here! I have just put the dogs to bed and done the chores and couldn't resist a last peek to see what was happening and if the party was over...and I find you are still around! I haven't looked over in the "Doocot" yet...lol

Think I'll stay here Alz !! lol Up the wooden hill myself soon ! Got your PM ... will reply soon ! ... when my head's working !!! Night night xx

Mic e ro b phone s last one for tonight.

"drag racing". Racing from Point A to point B while wearing clothing of the opposite attire

Have you lot all been up all last night and today at this??
My ribs are hurting!!

Stocktake...shopliffter

Freebie.......honey producing insects without charge

Constrain....prisoner with a pulled muscle

Constrain...a rail based method to transport prisoners

Conives......item of prison issue cutlery

Insects.......intimate relations not ventured into outdoors

Consult......ask a prison warden if theres any table sodium

Conspire.....structure on the prison chapel building

Sorry, had 'Con' stuck in my head all day...theres plenty more!!

Constable...place for prisoners to place their 'nives' and 'sult'.

Conscript... line sheet from prison amdram show

Constable.....prison farm horse house

Sorry, there not getting any better so I best stop!!

LOL!! Very good! Where you been?

Con-templating things for this blog.

I was out all day in a very sunny Oban, not long back for a late tea.

Restrain...to 'abstain from' due to a re-occurring injury

Consort...to arrange prisoners into groups of preference

Groooooaaaaannnnnn!
That makes me very con cerned!

Contemplate- the design for the perfect prisoner

That was 'tailor-made' for you...you got it 'sewn up'...you've got me 'stitches'

LOL! Cant think, not awake enough yet!

Ummmm, Template? pattern? tailor?...no?.... sorry it is a wee bit wayward but it was late last night (and it did work in my tiny wee mind at the time).

Anyway, I'm up all refreshed so just before I head out to the workshop to think of more I'll grind you down yet more with this mornings offerings so far. #groans#

Variant......a parents twin sister (very aunt).

Uncle.....an older male relatives attempts to dance at social gatherings (Un-cool).

And into the garden....

Bare root.........path regularly used by a grizzely.

Root stock......the logistical and support network that kept a rapidly growing rock festival of the 60's watered and fed.

Helter-skelter....my gardening methods

Guru.....what the weeds did in my garden this summer.

Herbaceous border.....a considerate but sensitive holiday guest who returns each year.

Gutta-Percha.....an Italian bird with somewhere to sit.

Insult.....a slugs worst nightmare.

LOLLLLLL!

'Morning Gf...you been up all night working that lot out? I just love that gutta percha....and as for bare root......OMG ...not to mention the variant. Help ...I nearly choked on my mid-morning caffeine intake!!!

LOLLLLLLLLLL!......an exceptionally long rest sometimes at a meeting place with others. (sorry but I cheated and used a dictionary for this one)

Morning Al,
No, I'm afraid this lot piled into my mind between waking and breakfast.....worrying isn't it.
It just goes to show how correct teenagers throughout history have been, a good nights sleep is pretty pointless!

You wanna bet!!!!
My worry is that I have become a sad case...I switch on my laptop BEFORE the kettle!!!!!!!!!!!!

You go steady with that coffee!!...choke??? ummmmm

Artichoke.....a creative gardeners splutter over a morning coffee.

First thing in the morning 'Login' has always been around in my homes...but it simply meant to get the firewood sawn up.

But not before the kettle...now I do worry.

Flamin Nora...you are seriously afflicted...what have I started!!!

Afflic'ted.....
......Edward, brother of Hollywood actor 'Affleck, Ben'

Bit wayward I know.....sorry but speed is of the essence here...I'm off to work!!

Don't work too hard....but enjoy your day!

What are you on Garden fool there just pouring out?

No worries Drc, end of the day, tired, worn out and the well hath dried up again.
Just one more (unless this coffee kicks in).

Fictionary.... 'The Alzheimer Dictionary' for made up word definitions.

BRILLIANT GF...top of the class.!!

Me and OH sat here til `1.30 am laughing our socks off!

Now this one I hadn't seen Tetrarch, thanks for pointing it out, hilarious, must get dressed and walk the dog,lol.

"Perambulation", mothers and babies mutual admiration society?