IN ISOLATION Dreaming of doing the garden up

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Reality Dreams caused by Covid-19 virus from being in Isolation Michelangelo’s, David: 1501 1503

Consternation of Michelangelo’s David in my garden has for some years caused disparagement and unstated objection to his presence midst the inhibitive neighbours’ of my home locality, his inclusion in my garden furniture started in Cyprus in a place called Paphos, where on a beach I met a lady from Huddersfield who asked me what I wanted most from a holiday, to which I replied that being addicted to Vitamin “D” I would like a place where it was tolerated, and to being able to indulge in a freedom of expression: she smiled and said “Not like this place then”? Looking at the surrounding beach area that was sea washed to the tide mark, with the detritus of industrial and social waste comprising of fishing lines encumbered with kelp, plastic bottles, broken plates, plus single use plastic cups and a plethora of other unmentionable items. I said “Definitely not, this is a very one off place not to be, to which I will never return”. Again she smiled and said “That makes two of us then”. Looking at me she continued with a suggestion: that the place for me was xxxxxxxx which had swaying palms with long gold and white sand beaches; for tens of miles, uncluttered with the flotsam and jetsam debris of today’s world.
Today I say "Thank you for your input that has contributed to my holiday times over the years with pleasurable company and memorable menus that came after the landing on what seemed to be the Moon. (That’s another story )
I return in memory to the humour of David, it all took place in a situation something like Paphos, at a sewerage farm near Andoversford: working ( self employed ) with a family firm from Leominster we were sitting outside in our cars during morning break- time, when two ‘elf an’ safety persons showed up on site, walking round the periphery of the settling tanks they said that the surrounding walls should have railings on them; this observation was made to the Site Manager who said he would pass on their observations to the firm’s Management but felt that their opinion should be made to the Severn Trent Water Authority rather than the construction firm that was doing the present undertaking of work agreed. The work force being told of their opinion that railings should be erected on top of the flat copingstones that were in place, gave off loud exasperated guff’s of “Who the hell’s going to fall in there then”?? It has always been my believe that, Que Sera Sera; will always come true, although in this particular case not quite so soon. the following day with all cars parked facing the settling tanks, a well opinionated smart-Alec decided to walk round on the coping stones to his parked car; on his way he tripped over: as all those that had observed the occurrence agreed, that man could fly: as furtively the flailing arms beating the air momentarily defying the affects of gravity, eventually that irresistible force made claim on the suspended body but he was still trying to fly when he hit the suspended sludge of maggots and scum that covered the tanks surface, with the smell erupting from the disturbed tank surface no one, myself included, was inclined to go to his aid, but rolled up the windows to our cars: eventually pulling himself from the tank dressed in maggots and clinging scum all over; he made his way to the outside shower that was placed near to the tanks for such emergencies. Eventually he was taken home in the back of a ten ton wagon to Leominster where his wife refused to take him in until after a visit to the hospital where they disinfected him and declared him sanitized, his car was driven home by one of the other Leominster locals.
I fault myself in being unable to resist relating the above but it is part of my memory recall of those times gone by, and in a way relates to the story of “David” to whom we now return.
On the same day of the splash and dash, the J.C.B driver was back- hoeing a plot of ground in preparation for some building work to be placed on it, when he jumped from his cab to look at the ground he’d been disturbing shouting “Hey all: we’ve gotta body here”. Every one rushed over to the dig, to take a look and offering advice of what should be done, one bit of advice was to dig a hole and bury it ‘cause you know what will ’appen if you don’t: to which the digger driver replied " I know what will ‘appen if I do, on getting found out I’ll lose my job so I’ll ‘ave to report it". He then went to tell the Site Manager who phoned the police who instructed him to stop all work on the site. Cuppa tea time for all on stop, the police Bravoed up in their Jam Butty car for inspection of the said body, it was then they called, I suppose, the area coroner who stated that it was definitely a long time dead, advising that archaeologists should be notified about the find, and it was to be covered over until they arrived. The police said to the Site Manager he was permitted to continue working as long as it was away from the area of the find.
The following day the archaeologists arrived in green wellies , hard hats and trowels at the slope, uncovering not a body but a skeleton as it proved to be: with the lack of covering flesh to the bones. They spent the day scrapping away the earth revealing more of the skeleton and looking for artefacts that may give an indication of the persons occupation or status in life. Not arriving until ten of the clock in the morning and leaving at three of the clock in the afternoon, saying they would be back the following day. At the end of the working day two workers went back to the covering and lifted it; to see what the archaeologists had done during the time they were there. Plus adding just a little something to the skeleton.
Back on site the following day the J.C.B driver was complaining about the time it was taking for him get on with his work as he said “All they had to do was ask me, I can tell them all about him”. "Well go on then tell us, if you’re so clever"
“OK for starters he was an alcoholic, a gambler and he died of heart attack”.
By now the archaeologists had turned up and were removing the covering from the skeleton: they went wild when they revealed the skeleton to be holding a opened can of Carling Black Label.
Alright so you got that right Smarty; this being said midst peals of laughter from those looking on “How about the rest of it then”? “How do you know he was a gambler and died of heart attack”?
“Because he had this in his hand when I found him”
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