CHASING THE DRAGON

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HYLOCEREUS UNDATUS

This plant is new to me, so if you find within my words a macabre sense of humour I can assure you it is (tongue in the cheek) intentional. I have known of this plant for some time as a grafting agent due to its rapid growth but did not know its name, Hylocereus Undatus. STOP! (Leave that mouse alone!) Don’t go on line to find out about it, read this first!
Now I know as soon as I print the name many of you out there will be into the saying of “O yes I know about that” but just how many will be into the saying “Never heard of it”, “Looks strange to me”, “What’s it like”? I’ll tell you one thing you may not like, and that is, it is very expensive for what it is (an under sized over seeded watermelon). For my family at least it was on the high novelty value list when viewed from the two spoon set at the Sunday dinner table setting, (“Grandma why have we got two spoons“?).”Wait and see”.
Having just purchased an obsessive want from many years standing aporocactus flagellisformis ((rattail) hope it flowers this year) I was looking around for some thing else to absorb my interest in and tuned into HY/Undatus on the internet “WOW” “I just gota ‘ave that” but how do I get it? With many phone calls and much asking around I found a place that sold them: Surprise Surprise Waitrose in Cheltenham, found their number and gave them a Ding-a -ling, I have to say this, Full marks to Waitrose (Chetenham) for their phone service on receipt of my call the operator said I’ll put you through,(“O yea”) almost straight away the phone was answered and my request listened too the response of yes we do sell them, but at the moment we have none in, we are expecting a delivery in a couple of days time there may be some on it, waited a couple of days and went over to their store, went to the display area and asked if they had any, to which the reply was sorry no “Do you know you are the second person to ask for them this week”? “Was the other person on the phone”? “Yes” Now this impressed me as what it meant was that my call had been put through to the person that mattered, not some berk in an office who’s natural response is normally “How can I not help you”? Well done Waitrose. Telling the lady what I wanted them for she replied “Yes I know” now that means other people in my area are doing the same thing, so if it is you please come back to me. Even though you may not be after the same thing as me, I’m after my own Queen of the Night, just to get a digital high before they die.
Still chasing the dragon, I was forced out of the house into the cold to go shopping with ’er indoors ending up at Morrison’s, going to the fruit display area I found a box of would you believe it Dragon Fruit expensive yes £1.50 each I bought two, just to be sure I would get enough seeds to produce a Hylocereus Undatus cactus they are already planted, I am now waiting the obligatory ten to fourteen days for germination to start.
Back to Sunday dinner, cutting one fruit in half and plated, it was past round to the grandchildren, receiving a mixed reception. Using the small spoon each was invited to try some, apprehensively almost furtively a small amount was extracted from the fruit case and tested, on the second passing larger spoonfuls were extracted proving the contents were at least palatable and safe for me to eat as all the children were still alive, I took some, but as my taste buds are not that active these days I did not get a lot from it, even though it was edible, eventually I had to stop them from eating too much and scraping the casing clean as I would not have been able to get any seeds from it.
The following day Flo’ the youngest of the bunch, not yet going to school came round (with her mother) and spotting the other dragon fruit asked “Granddad, can I have some dragon fruit”? she may not be going to school yet but it shows she has an educated palette Dragon Fruit wise anyway.
PS just in case you are wondering other desserts on offer were home made apple pie and custard, or peaches and ice cream.

• 24 Jan, 2011
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