Tepin Chillies

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Having never heard of them before and as they were the free packet in a buy two get third free, I thought, “Why not”.
They grew, they ripened, they were picked.
Disapointment, they are really small 1/8" to 1/4" oval berries.
Collected a small handful.
Sigh! (disapointment!).

Then Shirl (my wife) tried one.
“Wow! THAT IS HOT!!!”, She was eventually able to state.

Hmmmm . . . If Shirl thinks they are hot, then they must be hot!
“Try one.” She says, trying to sound all innocent with a film of perspiration across her forehead, eyes red rimmed, cheeks flushed and gaping like a goldfish.

She hasn’t fooled me. “Right I will!”. I replied.

“Here try this one.” She said, innocently passing me a (relativly) big one.

“Er no, I’ll try this one.” I replied, as I picked up a tiny half wizend one.

Shirl looks at me with scorn (and a little disgust). “What! I wouldn’t bother with something that small. Get a normal sized one.”

“No I’ll stick with this one and later try a bigger one.” I said as I casually popped it into my mouth.
Now to give you some idea of how small this chilli I ate is, look at the Gardening Questions tab, the one I ate was the size of the capital “Q”.

Firstly it contained one seed. Chew,chew chew, front teeth and tip of tongue mild tingle. Chew, chew, chew, back teeth, mild tingle at the back of mouth, tip of tougue hot, gums, hot. Heat building all the time, salivating profusly.

And finally The Swallow . . . “Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrgggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!”
I’ve Just swallowed a burning cat that didn’t want to be picked up. It was trying to claw its way out of the sides of my throat.
Ghod, that hurt. More saliva… swallow…. “aaarrrggghhh!!!”
Wildly gesticulating at my throat with stabbing finger motions, I manage to croak, “milk!”
My beautiful, kind, loving, Florence Nightingale of an angel passed me a soothing glass of caresses and swallow….“argh!”

Intense burning heat that keeps on burning for ten minutes then fades quite quickly, leaving you with a memory branded into your brain.

They may be small, but what a wallop! Definately worth growing.
If I can keep the plant alive over winter, next years crop should be bigger (quantity not size of berries).

• 24 Oct, 2009
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