Actually Ian...I fibbed...

You should have that one on my fridge magnet list!!

As the Hatter says, I'm all out of gardening jokes they all went onto her blog :~((

I know one!!
Once upon a time there was a GoYer, who decided to play at lumberjacks!
Being the type not to worry about health & safety, he managed to fell his tree, but….......you guessed it, it fell on him!!!!!!!

Ohhhh no, now look what you've gone and done...........
Fluff I blame you for this Lol :~))

Sorry pet, couldnt resist!! ;~)

Good! Life's too short for holding back jokes!

I agree!

what do you call a stolen yam

Go for it! What DO you call a stolen yam?

I don't know Irish, what DO you call a stolen yam?
I'm no good at remembering jokes, I'll leave that up to you lot

a hot potato :-)

Groooooaaaaannnnnnnnnn!
I didnt even know what a yam was!

Me neither!!!

LOL!

lol ah well i tried

Yup! But its not your fault we're thick!!

LMAO, you should try one Hatter, cook as per the usual kind, roasted is good too. Try them with jamaican style cookery. :~)))))

Sorreeee.... now we know, it's an excellent joke!!

ill keep the day job yeah lol

I bought some sweet potatoes, but dunno how I'm supposed to cook them!!!!

Again, me neither MP!

Lol! We're just TOO alike, Lily!!

I know what you mean I told my car to ignore all plants nurseries today. As it has this tendency to drive in!

LOL Good one Drc, actually my car does that too!
I just can't cook anything MP!

Lol!

Well that takes me back 30 odd years - my flat mate use to mash them with butter and sometimes bake them in foil in the oven and I cannot quite remember but she use to make some kind of chip.
I always did a late shift when she cooked as I got sick of them. I think she fancied the seller in the market cos she got an awful lot!

The important question here is:: what do they taste like????? LOL!

That's how we eat them...really yummy...especially the roasted way. They taste like sweet roast potatoes...sorry ...just realised I'm stating the b****ing obvious!

Well, I asked! Stupid question really!!

Marie i've never bought sweet potatoe incase i did'nt like them, so thanks Fluff didnt realise that are'nt i thick.

I've been like that too, Carol! I've never tasted aubergine either!

Me neither, dont know if i like them or not and hate wasting food if it does'nt get eaten.

That's me! And I have a few allergies, so have to be careful what I eat!

Bright pair are'nt we.

Can you be allegic to veggies too? Anything I suppose.

Sweet pots don't take as long as normal pots to roast & are very soft inside but just as yummy...we cut them into wedges.

You could just buy one & try it in with your normal roast pot...then if you don't like it you can pass it off to the rest of the family as a normal roaster!

(whisper) I've never tried a sweet potato, either!

Maybe I will, now you've explained, Fluff! :-)

Let me know what you think!

I dunno about veggies but I'm allergic to tomatoes & onions make me sick! I hate them!

Does anyone know how to cook Courgettes? I know, I know.
By the way when I was mouthing off about yams I meant to say cook them as you would your potatoes............ sorry

Hee hee!
I steam courgettes in a bamboo steamer, but keep em crunchy! There was a blog about them , but cant remember whose, but it was about courgettes & marrows & there were loads of comments about cooking them!

Cheers Hatter, I can't believe I'm admitting that I've never eaten one.......... :~)) (blush)

Well now's your chance!!
I like them crunchy & cant stand them overcooked! I quite like them raw too, grated in a salad! I think they're tasteless if cooked too much! Like boiled cucumber! Did you find the blog I meant? Might've been one of Mac's!

I roast them in the oven, sliced up with other veg like peppers, mushroom, onion tomato whatever takes my fancy.......lovely!!

the only roast veg i like are parsnips, peppers & carrots!!

Sweet potatoes make glorious microwave crisps....sweet and crunchy and lot better than Pringles....ooh...maybe not allowed to mention things like that..:~?
Some of you gals and guys may remember those microwave dishes that hold rashers of bacon or make potato crisps....well just do the same with the sweet ones - slice the yams and pop them in ...my grandkids called them YumYams !!!!

So (stupid question time) is a yam the same as a sweet potato?

As for courgettes..there are hundreds of recipes for them...the trick if eating them cooked is SPEED! No long lingering mucking about....in and out fast...:~))
Chop a small onion and fry gently until translucent....add thinly sliced courgettes...sprinkle over with finely chopped herb of your choice eg basil or oregano etc (even both !!) and a dollop of tomato puree - or even ketchup if stuck!! Toss around smartly and serve as an accompaniment pronto ...VGI !!

VGI??????

Sorry MP...not a stupid Q ...and the A is yes.
Yam is what sweet potatoes are called in the US and the Caribbean where they are a staple food.

OOPS ...VGI = Very Good Indeed.....ie teacher speak!!!!

OK Spritz! Thanks!
And there was me thinking we were talking about 2 different things!! Duh!

PS Yams make super "chips" - just the same as ordinary potatoes do... and they don't need as long to cook.
However - if you want to try the taste of a yam - just wash and brush one clean...choping off any damaged bits - dry in a paper towel and bung it whole into the microwave - and cook as you would any "baked potato" - delicious with a knob of butter....OK ..marg..if you insist....personally I will take my chance and stick to butter!!

omg i cant believe my daft joke has turned this blog into a cookery one .
im enjoying reading it tho .

It IS a bit surreal the changes that come about in blogs!!

Alzheimer, I'll have one for my tea! And it WILL be with butter! have you seen all the guff they PUT in marge!! Dont touch the stuff!

i only ever eat butter but what DO they put in marge MP

All sorts of c***! preservatives, E-numbers, some even have fish oils in them!
I personally refuse to eat it!

I NEVER have marg. in the house...eugh! My memory of it will go a LOT further back than you folks - but I can remember my parents referring to it as "truck grease"..say no more!!
Poor Fluff...your original idea for a blog has been hijacked...sorry! What was it you wanted again????????? !

Gardening jokes!!

What do you get if you divide the circumference
of a pumpkin by its diameter?

Maths???????????
I dunno, go on then!!

Pumpkin Pi LOL

LOL!
What did you teach?

Yes - I know...bad pun! But then God made rainy days so that gardeners could get their housework done...and nonsense written on blogs - didn't he!!

Oh yes! But what did you teach????????
LOL!

Me - teach? NEVER in a month of Sundays.

See! Confusssing me again! Thats with you saying teacher speak!! LOL!

Did you never get VG or VGI on any of your tests at school???? LOL I may be Alzheimer...but I can still remember those bad old days!!

Never a VGI!! The odd excellent, but I suppose it'd depend on the teacher's turn of phrase!

Half of my teachers probably were either too lazy or couldn't spell excellent!!

LMAO!!!
I had one who thought I was deaf for a year! He kept mispronouncing my name, so I would't answer!

lol i kept getting,,,,,,,,,, must try harder

One teacher I had (French) said "I wish Marie would stop pretending to ignore the lesson, especially since I KNOW she has finished the exercises in the book!"
I used to sit with my eyes closed, cos I was bored! I loved languages & would sit & go through the textbooks at home when I had nothing to do!!

English Lit. was my favourite....the "readers" we were given I would have "consumed" by the next day...always my nose in a book....and when ever I was "missing" I could be found in the library!
Not French ones though - I preferred Latin - so much more logical!

I loved latin, but only got to do it for a short time, then I changed scholls (again!) & the new one would only let me do one language, so i stuck to french!
I'm a bookworm too, & LOVED English! just as well really, since I'm going back to skool in 2 weeks!

You guys just carry on without me...sniff. Blog hijackers! Lol!

Go on Fluff...... You tell em. HeHe HeHe

Awwwwwwwww! Sorry fluff, but she confussed me wioth her pumpkin pi joke!!!!
Digger, behave! :~)D~~

Hey hey Ian...see my 'sunny day in the garden' blog...

HUH!!!! lol :~))

Poor Fluff....:~((( At least I TRIED to get this lot back into JOKE mode...but we all got sidetracked again...
SO...I'll try again.....here's one my grandchildren liked....
What kind of socks does a gardener wear?

?

Garden Hose..................!

LOL!!!!!!

how about:
what do you call a man with a spade on this head?

doug!

what do you call dug when he loses his spade?

douglas!

Love 'em Seaburn...thank you!!

What do you call exploding cattle?........

dunno!

Abominable!!!!..........geddit?????

Emmmmmm........Nope!! Sorry!

Just!

Say it slowly Mp

A-BOMB-IN-A-BULL..........oh well I tried

Duh!!!!!!!!
Sorry, it's the paint fumes, honest!!

This is supposed to be true :-
A woman living near here asked her husband if he's go and fetch a cabbage from the garden for them to have for dinner.
He was a long time coming back and very soon a neighbour came running in and said " Oh dear !! Your husband has just dropoped dead suddenly in the garden !"
The woman looked at her in a puzzled way and said " Oh bother - I'll just have to open a tin of peas instead "

Oh dear Hywel...she must've been in shock!

Here's a true story for you......... When Carol (Mrs. Digs) went into labour at about three in the morning she woke me up, and bearing in mind it was our first child together, she said Ian I think this is it............. My reply was and I quote "ok then go down and put the kettle on and I'll follow you in about twenty minutes".............. and she did! ! !
and I did! ! !

Sorry, but I think that's funny!!

Its totally true, and Carol says it was the best thing I could have done. It calmed her right down.........

LOL!

Well done Ian ... when I was in labour with my 2nd child my then husband said to the Sister...'I'm just going to Halfords to get some brake linings'...she said ... I think not'.
Tch...the things men say! ;0)

That's a good one Fluff! lol!

Psychiatrist say to patient...'So...you think you're a potato? On the couch please...'

I'm having a right job with my browser........ no its not a joke, I keep getting cut off. :~((

poor you! Hope it doesnt continue!

See what you've started now, Fluff! And I just have to join in...
First - sweet potato (not yam, they are not quite the same thing) fries: Peel sweet potatoes and cut into thin sticks (1cm x 1 cm x 6 cm approx.). Toss in a bag with some garlic powder and dried herbs and spices such as thyme, turmeric, paprika... your choice. Sprinkle a little olive oil in a baking pan large enough to hold the fries in a single layer, and toss the fries in the pan to coat a little. Bake in a 375F oven for about 20 minutes, until the outsides are crispy and the insides soft and steamy. Serve with a chipolte or similar dip. Mmmmmmm....
Zucchini - I either sauté this slices in garlic-flavoured olive oil, or toss wedges (cut 8 from a 20 cm fruit) in same oil in a baking pan and roast with onion wedges at 375F for 20 - 25 minutes until starting to brown. I roast most large veggies in this way - roasted cauliflower is excellent tossed with cumin, coriander and garlic powder.
Love those jokes, especially the pi one. I can never remember jokes long enough to retell them.

The chips sound great, but I dunno what a chipolte is!!!
Tried a baked sweet potato tonight & it was so good I had to bake another one!!

Good for you MP...yummy eh?
Love your recipes Elke... I fry courgette slices in butter 'till they're soft & brown apart from using them in every meaty dish to bulk them out a bit!
Hope your browser not playing up tonight Ian!

Mmmmm! Delish! Might have the other 2 tonight, couldnt eat today & now I'm starving!

How was your first day back at work Marie? I was so tired I fell asleep over my candles!!

Hope you didnt get burned!!
I'm bushed!
It was ok,thanks, and everyone welcomed me back, even the depute manager!!!!!!!!
It was really touching actually, but I feel like I've run a marathon! Off til Saturday now, & doing 3 days next week, then uni! Going on to relief then, so no more "stupid" shifts unless I want to do them!

Hey hey candles just made...still liquid so no flames yet!!
Glad day went ok...it is tiring ...put your feet up now until Sat!!

Oh, thats ok then, but the wax can burn you too, if its still hot. Are you using beeswax?
I have to finish painting the living room! The furnitures all in the middle of the room, & I've got a visitor coming on Wednesday!!

No we now use a blend of rapeseed oil & soya to be more user - friendly. Made 625 Christmas ones today...cinnamon & clove not my favourite fragrance at this time of year!

Get on with that decorating girl...it won't paint itself!! ;0)

Hee hee! By the way, Mac's back! Been golfing in Torquay!
I'll do the painting tomorrow!
I'll have to check that out, I've only ever used beeswax or parrafin wax (which I hate)! Do you use essential oils or perfume oils?

Oh that's good...the old rogue! Be good to hear from him again!!

We don't use paraffin wax anymore as there has been research suggesting it can have carcinogenic properties. We use essenial oils in our own brand stuff but bespoke customers can have what they like.
I've got to go to sleep...today's whacked me out good 'n' proper!
Nite nite.x

Me too!
Night!

Only just found this blog and as it started out with gardening jokes, I've got a little sort of gardening story. I knew the man who ran the local hardware store years ago, which also sold plants and gardening equipment, bulbs, seed potatoes. He employed a new Saturday boy who was Irish - one Saturday, he asked him to go out the back and check the stocks of the 3 types of seed potatoes left in the sacks. When he came back, the lad said "The whites are half full, the edwards are half empty, and there's not very much at all in the other one". When the manager went to check, he said the whites and edwards had the same amount in each, and there were 4 potatoes left in the other one. I still roar with laughter thinking about that, but really, what the lad said wasn't incorrect, just more lyrically put...

Hey hey Bamboo...a bit of poetic licence never goes amiss!

I like that one!!!