A lighthearted blog about our Blueberry Bush

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Have you ever seen the film “How to lose a guy in 10 days”? If so, you’ll remember the scene where she brought in the “Love Fern” while he was playing a card game with his friends. Hubby and I are not a romantic couple and often make fun of the scenes in these romcoms (usually to try and embarrass the other half).

One day Hubby brought home a stick in a pot. He grinned at me mischievously and announced with an effeminate flourish that this would be known as our Love Fern. After the necessary ribbing from myself about the Love Fern being dead before he even got it home, he confirmed that it was in fact a Blueberry Bush and not a fern. Again, I made fun of him for thinking a fruit tree could produce anything tasty in the typical Scottish weather. We put it in the corner of the living room next to the window unconvinced that it would produce any fruit (as it was literally just a stick in a pot). Despite this, Hubby and I took good care of the young Blueberry Bush which soon became affectionately known by us and all that entered the house as “The Stick”.

In 2010 Hubby and I went on a 2 week holiday to France and by this time The Stick had grown some promising looking leaves. Hubby’s friend agreed to stick-sit for us while we were away so that it wouldn’t dry out. Imagine our horror when we came back from a lovely relaxing holiday to a poor old Stick covered in aphids! We were not happy with our friend’s stick-sitting failure and promised The Stick that we would never put him through that again.

As a result of that event, despite all our mockery, The Stick became a part of the family and a symbol of Hubby and I’s relationship after all! People often ask after “his” health and seems to have been given a personality of his own!

The other day I was pottering about the Herb Patio on which The Stick has pride of place in the corner when my neighbour, Mrs R, came out to have a chat. She told me how lovely my garden was looking and how she wasn’t able to do as much as she used to in her own garden as a result of a bad back. She then nodded over in The Stick’s direction and asked what it was. “Oh this is The Stick” I said laying a protective hand on some of his berries. “He’s a blueberry bush”. Mrs R’s eyes lit up and she asked if I made things with the berries (a hint if ever there was one!). I said I made jam and cakes and it’s looking as if the harvest will be pretty good again this year.

“What about the birds?” asked Mrs R. I explained I would have to get a net as the village birds would probably try to eat them. The Stick didn’t look too happy at the idea of his berries being stolen. The Glasgow birds were always too big to sit on his branches so there had been no need for a net but the village finches are small enough to cause some damage.

“Is he ok in that pot?” continued Mrs R. Both The Stick and I looked back at her rather indignantly. Of course he’s ok, look at all the green berries just waiting for the sunshine, I thought, although he does need pruned but I wasn’t going to say that out loud in front of him. Then my indignation turned to amusement… Had the neighbour just referred to The Stick as a “he”?! Everyone seems to develop a soft spot for The Stick despite not actually being a pet or a person! I explained that he was fine – he used to be in a smaller pot but he had out grown that one. I told Mrs R that I was thinking about putting The Stick in the ground as we have acidic soil so it’s the right conditions for him and The Stick ruffled his leaves at the thought of getting some freedom. We continued this conversation with The Stick being the centre of attention. He was particularly pleased when Mrs R asked what I fed him and I gave a demonstration. Although she suggested I try tomato feed… The Stick isn’t so sure. His fruit is entirely different from a tomato plant and he will not be put in the same category. I’ll have to research it a bit more and, if it’s a good idea after all, maybe disguise it in a watering can.

We got some lovely big juicy blueberries last year as a result of the warm sunny weather in July. Lets hope the sun comes out again and The Stick can produce another successful bumper crop this summer! He has certainly been doing well so far…

The Stick’s profile picture:

• 12 Jun, 2014
• 8 likes

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