How tall do you need it?

I'd be wary of planting a tree too close to your cottage - think roots and foundations!

Also - check the eventual mature height of any tree you think of or that's suggested. You might live to regret planting 'some' trees - so buyer beware! (I was thinking of Leylandii when I wrote that...)

You could think about splashing out on a semi-mature specimen, which would provide almost instant coverage for the monstrosities. Several specialist Nurseries sell them and deliver them, too.

Sunflowers ?

Wont do much in winter Diane

Thanks girls.
Jacqui, very tall! The thing is the nearer the cottage, the higher it will seem, the dishes do look ghastly from the kitchen window.
Barbara, I'm wondering if I could get away with half mature specimens in tubs, I think that may be the answer, strategically placed, they could be moved for summer. I'm wondering a standard variegated Holly, or something similar....I'll check out the nurseries and see what they come up with....:))
Thanks Diane.....I've a sneaking feeling MGs right...lol!

I have seen a grouping of Laurel in large black pots act as a fast growing screen and it looks good. Bamboo in troughs will also screen an area fast. You can buy 8ft bamboo now on sale. Place in a large trough then that is easily 9 feet without adding the next few years growth.

Tall columnar cypresses (Goldcrest) can grow quite fast and get to about 15' without putting down a very big root run, and HAVE to look better than Jodrell Bank! I agree with Spritz, don't be tempted to go down the Leylandii road.

I live in a conservation area - no-one should put these dishes up without permission - see if this applies to your neighbourhood.

A warning about the Goldcrest cyprus. an awful lot of them seem to just die after about 10 years or so. Not sure why.

@Anchorman - interesting. A few gardens have dead ones around my neighbourhood - I always wonder why the owners do not remove them. I thought it was wind/weather damage as they seem to die-back quickly.

I know Moonglow ! I would go for the 8 foot high Bamboo fencing and Sunflowers. Make more space in the garden. I bought 4 foot high Bamboo fencing last year, its very easy to put up if there are boundary fencing posts to fix it to with bits of wire. Its in the hut for the winter, nice and dry, I just took it off and rolled it up.

Thanks Kilda....I like the sound of the laurel and bamboo. though I don't think they'll be high enough for years.

Gattina, I have the goldcrests, clipped in my small square garden, Ive never seen them that tall here, even though the colour is uplifting.

Thanks for your input Cammomile, OH has spoken to the council and they are happy that neither dish faces the street, facing our private garden isn't their concern they say.

In the pic you can see the Robinia to the right. Ive checked the width between the greenhouse which is in front of the wall and the wall itself; it's about 5ft. There is room for a couple of trees to be planted, I'm going to source some locally, and get them in....just which type, as yet I don't know.

Good grief I'm not sure what is going to screen those two monsters for you! Could you persuade them to have cable TV? I loath Leylandii but in this instance I might just be tempted to plant the to screen the view...

I know MG, it is more distant then this shows, but an utter eye sore, the back of the old chapel was bad enough, I feel very sad that some people today think only of what they want at the expense of others. OH wants to go down the leylandii route, though I'm not sure how we would keep them in check once they have reached the necessary height.

The only way to keep a leylandii in check once it has reached the desired height is to keep cutting it back every 2-3 years. We gave up in the end, and removed the one we had (not planted by us). Kept down it was actually quite attractive, but just got too expensive.

I wouldn't be able to keep them down though Melchisedec, they would need to be sky high to hide these sky dishes, and I hate to see them clipped at the bottom and a huge bush at the top. A couple of broad leaved evergreens might do, but what, I've no idea.........

How tall is "very tall" Janey?

10 feet,15 feet,20 feet?

I would say at least 20ft Alan.......

Oh Lor, Janey! They are monsters, aren't they? I hadn't realised you meant that the dishes were on poles and on the roof too! Well, take heart - have you heard about the predictions of magnetic solar storms on the 21st of this month combined with a polar shift? Well, those should take all satellite dishes out, making them useless and therefore unnecessary, and if not, the end of the world is due round about then, too, which should finish them off (and the selfish neighbours) nicely!! ;o)))) I hope I'm wrong, but a lot of people (quite a few of our own neighbours included) are taking these rather hairy predictions/superstitions very seriously. Has anyone else heard about them?

Oh Janey! What a monstrosity! I still wouldn't plant Leylandii - they are an absolute pain.

I'd think laterally - why not create a feature to divert your gaze from upwards? I think I'd go for Bamboos - but planted to contain their spread, either by sunken barriers or by planting them in large containers. I have Phyllostachys aurea and nigra, and they catch my eye right across the garden in the winter especially, as they move with any breezes. They'd be taller than the top of your fence, too.

If you think that the area is not too exposed, then why not try eucalyptus and take the top out of it if it becomes too big? Your Robinia pseudoacacia could become more of a problem as even the 'Frisia' variety can reach about 30ft tall. If it is the more common variety then it can reach 75ft. Bamboos will lose many leaves during the winter, will be messy and become invasive if planted in the gound. If you plant anything big in a pot, then I will become stunted as the roots will become constricted and you will need to water constantly during the summer.

Lol Gattina....yes heard that here, my sister brought it up,
There's one thing, satellite dishes will be the least of our problems!!
No Barbara, have decided against them...before anything else I'm going to contact the council again, we really need them to come and have a look, when my husband suggested this before, the councillor said they were saving money so couldn't travel....!! at the most it is 5 miles. Thank you for the suggestions, I've been trying to divert my eyes, but apart from permanently wearing a peaked cap, you just couldn't miss them! This though is nothing compared to your predicament, how are things progressing? I do hope you can get dried out before the main part of winter comes...thanks so much for sparing the time for me....:0)) the bamboos sound beautiful though.
We lost our Eucalyptus Jimmy in the winter of 2010, it would have hidden a lot of this. I'm a bit loathe to planting another, in case severe winters are here to stay. Yes the Robinia is ready for a good prune now, it grew like billio this year with all the rain. Thank you for all your suggestions.....I've a lot to go on now....:0))

wow, those satellite dishes are monsters aren't they. just joined this site so i could help you answer your question. I had something similar myself over the last 2-3 years where we had a lovely conifer and an ash tree in the neighbours garden which shielded the houses behind us. Then the house at the bottom of the garden went up for sale and duly the trees were felled and I felt absolutely mortified we just had views of peoples houses. Luckily I had a clematis montana growing down at the bottom of the garden and a small ashtree was growing. I've allowed that ashtree to grow and is about 14ft tall in a very short space of time and the montana has grown as well. I think for your answer you might need to think vertically and get a cheap rose arbour - get a sacrificial tree and let very quick growing climbers romp everywhere. There are evergreen climbers that you can get like clematis armandii. That is really the only answers I can come up with for you. I worry that if you are going to put in a large, large tree then you have to be concerned about roots and foundations etc. Generally the rule of thumb is to turn the tree upside down for the spread of the roots. You are also concerning yourself as well with the evergreen trees or holly's which might be slow growing. If you get bamboo then roots could spread, so you will need to find a non invasive type and if you put trees or shrubs in pots then you will restrict that from growing. Hope i've helped - good luck

Thanks so much Lisylou.....it is quite heart wrenching isn't it to see your space altered in such an intrusive way. I do have a Montana and armandii, and also a rambling Rose Bobby James, that scrambles to 30ft, it does need moving as well. It's just the height, both dishes are really so high, that I'm not sure anything could grow rapidly to hide them. I have a Rose arch you can see on the right, then a veggie garden and greenhouse then the back wall, with the Robinia in front and golden hop which scrambles up the wall and through the tree in the summer. Behind the green board is a flat roof belonging to the chapel, now they are keeping their ladder there too. It really is in the winter months where everything is laid bare that the view is ugly.......and the garden itself looks dwarfed by such large installations.

Back to GoY, it's a great site and everyone so friendly, I'm sure you'll love it....:0))

Janey, why not pop some photos through their door with a note, saying, 'would they like that view' ? They might see sense and on the other hand they might not!! I'm sure if they could see what they have done to your view they might consider compromising ! Failing all, you have been given some great suggestions.

Could the satellite dishes be moved to the other side of the house( assuming this wouldn't annoy their other neighbours)

If so you could offer to pay for them moving. I guess it wouldn't cost a great deal more than buying new large plants which can be expensive

Does one need more than one satellite dish?

No Alan, I wouldn't think so......the neighbours own a small club which extends into this old chapel, they are advertising on the front of the club which looks like a converted cottage, huge plasma screen tvs for football etc.

I wouldn't have thought so Cammomile, but in clubland, the bigger the tv the bigger the dish.........

As the satellite dishes seem to be part of a business did they require or get planning permission ?

Good point, Anchorman.

Very good point I'd check up with the council

They are extremely hot on shop signs and advertising in this part of the world so I am very surprised they are allowed to get away with it.

They possibly aren't... council may not be aware!

Thanks everyone for all your input.......Alan, Ian had already spoken to north Lincs planning dept, the dishes aren't sited on the public highway, so the location of them is correct. I spoke to them again this afternoon, the dishes are too large, 1 x 100cm is allowed and 1 x 50cm allowed. The amazing thing is they then spent ages looking for the planning application and no, they haven't gone down this route. If they had, the matter would have been brought up at our village council meetings and we and others would have had the opportunity to voice our objections against them.
As it is, the club have agreed to contact their sky supplier to change the dishes for smaller ones. Meanwhile the large ones are NOT to be taken down, the club have been given time to sort it out and as the councillor admitted, it could be months of red tape and wrangling before anything is altered.
We can email the council with reasons for our objections and include photos to show how they are affecting our property...they will forward them to the relevant bodies.

The councillor highlighted a case of a travellers camp down south and just how long it was taking to move them on. Odd comparison we thought, a screw driver is all it would take here, no-one is losing their home!

Well at least there is some progress... As a community councillor I know just how slowly these things progress but in this case all that is needed is for the company to come and put up smaller dishes! Perhaps you could suggest they try cable?

Never mind a screw driver Janey, try a hacksaw at the dead of night!

;^)

Thanks Moongrower.......we'll just have to see how it goes, I still want to source a couple of trees, as smaller dishes will still invade. I must admit I find it incredible that they aren't being forced to dismantle them till planning permission is sought and allowed. I'm steaming!

Too right Alan....thing is they would know it was us I suspect, I'm sure the path would be much quicker to fining us!.....:0((

Don't go and get arrested, will you. :-O

It doesn't seem right at all. However, they 'can' apply for retrospective planning approval, and that can take weeks, if not months. I'm so sorry you've got all this to cope with.

Ha Barbara, I'll try my best not too!

We've found this quite a challenge, and thanks everyone for all your great suggestions......we're pretty sure what we will be doing once spring comes. Halfway up the garden we're going to plant a Betula pendula, and also one behind the Rose trellis. They won't fully hide the dishes in the winter months, but will detract from them....and anyway I love Birches......lol! Also the one to be planted in the lawn will shade the hot dry border from the midday sun (?), and help with the wilting problem there....all in all, not too bad after all, and by this time, maybe the club will have changed the dishes for smaller????

I do hope so, Janey. Keep plugging away at the authorities. Good luck!

:))))) X

Janey Tony has an airgun he says he will come and help Ian with a spot of night target shooting !! I wouldn't think of having Leylandi, I've been wondering if it would be worth investing in a couple of tall telegraph poles with something evergreen growing up them something like ivy with large evergreen leaves perhaps clems or roses intertwined it's just an idea in my head at the moment I do hope that in the long run they are made to replace them with smaller dishes it's not fair on you having to live with that sight in your pretty garden ... x

dornob.com/tv-dish-disguises-6-stealthily-camouflaged-satellite-dishes/ Look what I've found - and I particularly like the sunflowers.

Lol Amy......Ian says he'll be waiting! I can feel a couple of those totem poles coming on.....:))).

They're great Cammomile, if only the dishes were against brick or stone work, those designs would work well.