What do u Say??? (Plez note Not Gardening Related)

Tragic.
I sometimes feel that words aren't enough :-((

Your poor son too, do they still see each other, can he give him emotional support Jacque ?

Only Spoken few times since leaving School & last time was @ an old friends Birthday Party few months back so sadly unable to give Support Louise :( 1 of My Daughters Friends is aslo Engaged 2 him & My Daughter tried to Phone her last nite on learning about the awful news but the Numbers been changed :( We want 2 send our Thoughts & let them know where thinking of them @such a awful time X

That is so sad Jacque,what can anyone say at a time like this.:-(( the parents of the lad and of cause your son must be devastated.

Its rocked us as a Family Tuls:( u dont relise how close The Afghanistan War is until it hurts/takes some 1 u know :(

Hello Jac...
Awful news...no wonder you are all in shock...
Whenever you write messages to anyone on GoY you do it in the most loving way, so I'm sure all the words you find will be of great help to this young man and his family...
Could you make a collage of photos and pictures he might like ?
You could ask your son to suggest pictures?
Thinking of you all. xxx

Thanx TT @ present all 3 of us r thinking of words to put on2 paper & we plan on popping in a Funny Get Well Card which My Son Kane Choose with Gareth in mind :) Going to take it 2 his Nans buy hand when complete x

Well done Kane on finding a card....
that's a positive thing to have done :o)

Poor boy Jacque, but the most important thing is that he is still with us. You can find some beautiful blank cards these days. Perhaps one of those to let him know that you are thinking of him. I'm sure he'll appreciate it :~) xx

My K is always Positive TT i hope he`l get to c Gareth soon as they were very close X

Goodness yes Sue its a Miracle he is isnt it X

So tragic Jacque to our young men who is not deserving of any of this, I would get him into gardening, I would send Rosemary with a message attached as Rosemary is a plant for rememberance, stateing you have nt forgotten him and hope he plants the plant to show he is always in your thoughts. Place a joke in it, as I watched a program and when this kind of thing happens in the forces, they are not ones for sympathy with one another, they joke, watched a program on the soilder last week and a soilder himself said this. Its up to you really.

Thanx Morg :)X

i think a nice thinking of you card is much better, only because he may not feel like a get well card is appropriate after such an awfull thing has happened. your son could always offer to visit him, cheer him up chatting about school etc, just let him know you both want to be there for him if he needs anything, poor boy, so young.

Injured troops are taken to Selly Oak Hospital, which is in Birmingham. We recently had a 'Help for Heroes' day here, where the injured troops and the hospital staff were interviewed. The thing that really shone through for me was the courage and determination that these boys have to overcome their injuries. A Doctor who was interviewed said that he had never known such resilience. It showed troops with terrible injuries, who had gone on to parachute out of planes and do other things that many able bodied people would not even contemplate, let alone attempt. I'm sure that, given time, Gareth will also be the same. :~) xxx

Thanx San X Its so good of all u Goy Friends/Members to give me some ideas as my thoughts r all over the place @ present as My Own Son could of easily been 1 of the Unlucky Wounded 1s as when he was in Army Cadetts he 2 wanted to join up after leaving School but changed his Mind as he hates War .

That is really heart wrenching Jacque, but be positive and maybe your boy could offer help when he faces walking with new legs.......there will be a lot of physio and hospital staff will want to keep him motivated for his new future.....
He'll need to integrate again with his age group so to be included in social life when he feels he is able will help him face other people and how they view him.
We are all so proud of our young people out there and he must stay proud of himself. He's used to being a soldier and I'm sure will wish to be treated with pride. XX

Your welcome Jacque when I ended up in my wheel chair, I preferred the jokes than the sympathy, I get called all sorts, when I had my hip done people would say I now can do the hip op dance, which I use to love dancing, the local shop where I go, the lad will say don't upset her she will run you down with that wheel chair then clonk you with her stick lol, or metal micky as they place a large like ball bearing in my hip inside a cup, as my back now has a big dip in it, I get called the big dipper lol He will need more support to occupy his mind than sympathy. As that is the killer not the lose but the mind not being occupied to do some thing. thats why I suggested the plant, to show him he still has the rest of himself, his mind , his arms the rest of his body.

so sorry to hear about your sons friend jacque.........but im sure you will find the right words in your heart to write to him.....

we all think about if! jacque, but at the end of the day he didnt join, and i beleive when its our time whatever our age its for a reason, its all sad and personally i hate wars and dont think they should be able to join the army so young, still kids and dont really know anything about the world and war, still growing and learning,its xx

Big Hugs 2 u all Love Jac xxx

I am so sad to hear this news jaque. It is often the person suffering who copes best. The rest of us wring our hands and say what can we do. I think Morgana hits it on the head when she says he will need something to occupy his time while he recovers from the immediate trauma. Glad to hear you have found a way of reaching him through his gran or fiancee. The rosemary plant is resilient and can stand a bit of neglect and thrives in almost any situation. Plant it in a pot with winter flowering pansies and spring bulbs. It can stand outside and he might be encouraged to look outside his life in the ward. This is his battle and we can not fight that for him. It can be hard to stand back and see someone hurting when he needs time to grieve for his lost legs. Unfortunately he will still feel them there. Those feelings are what will make him know his life is not over and his old legs want him to carry on. We live in a world today where many of our young people are characterised as being yobs and layabouts but there are plenty such as your son who will face the reality of his friends situation and help him cope. Susan Boyle said this week she was punished daily for being a wee bit slow at learning. Thank goodness we have come to terms with our outlook on so much that frightened us. We no longer see disability as a punishment for our sins more as a challenge to our ingenuity. Once a brave soldier always a brave soldier. Your son should not feel bad or guilty if his friend feels safer with others who have suffered like himself but he should try and keep in touch and be there if he is needed. Men do talk to their friends about their problems and he is going to need all the support you can give but not sugary sympathy. The hardest thing for your son will be putting a brave face on it so he will need your support too. Thinking of you.

This is so very sad Jacque, and you're right, what words are there? I think what Sanbaz said that a 'Thinking of You' card would be most appropriate. Maybe your son could say something about everyone looking forward to seeing him.
It is going to be a long hard struggle for the poor lad, and Im sure your son will be a great help to him when he begins to try to 'pick up the pieces'
I do feel for you all as you grieve for this poor boy. I know he hasn't died, but it is still a form of grieving, for he has lost part of his life. As with so many of these poor brave youngsters he will pick up the pieces and struggle to carry on with his life. We hope, all of us, that life is kinder to him from now on.
Your son has got his family to help and support him through this tragedy. As I expect and hope the lad has too, and friends.
All best wishes to you all.

Hi Jacque. Terrible thing to have happened. I'm sorry for all concerned. I agree with Sanbaz....a blank "thinking of you" card...and just use words like you did when closest friends.....he's still the same person.

Jacque, that is so sad and very awful...Never can find proper words in such situations. Everything, that I can, is hugging and crying...But at the right moment the soldier needs hugs of his family...and time...much time...
Friends can send a card with words of Wishing rapid recovery and, of course, words of Pride and Glory being a soldier. On NO account these words must be words of pity! (think that way, because we must not give these brave men any thought of making a mistake having chosen to be a soldier). Hope having expressed my point of view correctly in English.
P.S. I hate any war so much that this word make me crying every time I think or write of it.

I keep thinking of him when he was small & now hes a young man whos been through so much the last few days which has changed his way of his Life :( I know his family will be there 4 him & his Fiancee is such a Sweet Heart & loves him 2 bits,Im sure hes in the Best Hands with his injurys & will never be alone as he has so many friends who care 4him, With so many lovely Comments im sure il find the Right Words&Card 2 say what i/we want 2 say,Thank u all 4 taking the time to help/comment Jacx

what a horrible time for you, and all involved ,such a young age, thinking of you all, at this sad time.

Its really tragic when one so young becomes disabled and it is so upsetting for everyone around him! I had this dread when one of my Grandsons went to Army training School in Harrogate, he was there for six months he was only seventeen and I thought far too young to make such a big decision! I broke my heart when he went, but six months down the line he came out when he had to sign for 4 years. He is still trying and studying to join one of the uniformed services.

The only advise I can give is let this young man know that he has lots of friends that are there for him and will help him recover his independence and let him know they are so glad that he didnt lose his life. Im sure if they could manage to go and see him and have a joke with him, the worst thing for him is to feel an outsider and an invalid, these young heroes have great strength and determination to get back to normal and they are normal only things are much harder for them from now on, so the more people around him giving him strength the better.

What an awful thing to happen. I feel for his family, and your son aswell. I don't know how I would start either Jacque. You must have had a terrible shock.

Oh Jacque this brings back memories had a close schoolboy friend the games we played together when so young ..sad that you grow apart esp when joining Army as civvies never truly understand what they experience.

Think Morgana s point very valid that they will appreciate humour but only from people who genuinely care about their plight ..Morgana deals with her difficulties through humour but that doesnt mean taking the mickey or being condescending .

In other words whatever you decide sure the young chap will know that your sentiments sent from that big warm heart of yours.

Cant thank U Goy Members & Friends enough 4 the Comments uv given me today, I feel more conferdent about what im going to write /say now as iv listened closely 2 every little word & Idea youv all added2 help me put things rite in my own mind Love Jacxxx

What a shock for everyone concerned You will find the right things to say Jacque .Take care.

Oh Jacque, what tragic news. But thank God he is still alive. I'm sure you will come up with the perfect words for him and his family when the time comes. You are so good at that.
The poor lad will need some good friends to stick by his side in the upcoming months as he adjusts to his loss of limbs. There may be some very hard times ahead for him psychologically. I'm sure your words of support and encouragment will help him through.
I'm so pround of all the soldiers over there fighting, be they British troops, Canadian, American or whatever. Very, very, very brave young men and women.

I think it's right to send a 'thinking of you' card - with your own message, too. I'm sure you won't leave it at that, though - he'll need even more support from his friends later on, won't he!

War is a terrible, terrible thing. I'm very sad for him.

It is terrible when you here of things like that - but do write - when my Dad died mum and i were really upset when people ignored you because they were embarressed - some times its just knowing people are thinking about you that helps, and in future he will need his friends.

I can't add anything that hasn't been said, Jacque but will remember him (and all the others) in my prayers.