Garden Saboteur

Try asking your husband for a divorce ! :o)

Oh that's a bit extreme! lol Maybe if there's no other way ;o)

The only way I have been able to do it is to only plant things that are edible. He will even build more beds and cold protection if I tell him it means more yummies from the garden!

I call mine 'the Hacker'. That really speaks for itself, doesn't it! Yours SHOULD know what he's doing, judging by his job, but mine doesn't and just hates anything that overhangs anywhere - and this in a cottage garden! To add insult to injury, he leaves the branches and other bits he has chopped off lying where they fell - so one guess who gets to clear them up...When he cuts the grass, any poor plant that has crept or arched itself over the edge gets mown down. No mercy is shown. To save them this year, I used a variety of plant supports which are now cluttering up the woodshed. It did help, though. I DO NOT allow him to prune anything unless I am there (that's the theory - not working well, lol)

He does have his uses - he uses loppers on large branches that I can't saw or cut off, he helps with a crowbar when I hit a giant piece of stone while I'm digging (the remains of outbuildings) and gets large roots out when I'm defeated. I have to be grateful that he is willing to help, don't I?

After that i don't know if i'm better on my own or not, i dont have to tell anyone to leave my garden alone, but then some times it is hard struggling with somethings.

You are absolutely right, Clarice. He does indeed help when I am struggling. It just gets a bit frustrating sometimes as Madmum says.

Madmum - what you need is a pair of handcuffs. Cuff his hands behind his back every time he goes out to 'help' in the garden!

So, The Terminator has a deep hatred of all things GREEN.

Several strategies must immediately be introduced.

PLAN ONE ~
There are plenty of plants with colours of foliage other than green - golds, browns, blacks, silvers, reds. These should look sufficiently un-green to fool The Terminator.

PLAN TWO ~
Turn your garden into an obstacle course. You first blog indicates you've made a great start with the pond, strategically placed to lure any lurking Terminator to
fall in, and without any Olympic size waders to save him. Add some hurdles in the shape of cloches and cold frames. Anything to slow down his progress as he advances with his choppers.

PLAN THREE ~
Show The Terminator all kinds of wonderful GoY photos.
This will quickly turn him into a plantoholic and he'll be pleading with you to PROPAGATE and not TERMINATE.

He'll change his name to The PROPAGATOR and your marriage will be saved. You'll have a special ceremony to renew your vows. Bluespruce will be pageboy, Wohlibuli will be in charge of catering, Clarice will be bridesmaid and Spritz will arrange for a whole brigade of GoY members to form an arch, waving their loppers and choppers in salute. :o)

I can relate to this. My ex, like Arnie 'The Terminator' had a German background, and his attitude to plants was kind of prussian. He liked plants in the garden to grow in an organised manner (I don't think so!) and also considered anything that didn't have a prominent brightly coloured flower to be, if not actually a weed, then at least surplus to requirement.
He was, however, a whiz with lawns, mowing,killing weeds, raking, trimming.

Sorry had already named squirrel prior to your blog - no offence to hubby !

Its so nice to know that I am not the only one "saddled" with a heathen for an other half. Mine does exactly the same and just drops it where it falls [for me to pick up later} His excuse ....to let it die off before it goes on the compost heap tut. And as far as he is concerned .....if you cant eat it , its not worth growing

Wohlibuli, I have an area set aside for veg, and will be getting at least one apple tree (probably one of those brilliant little family trees to train along the fence). He does enjoy growing runner beans and potatoes so maybe I can fence him into the veg plot? :oD

Spritz, sadly he doesn't, he works on the irrigation department, so he thinks plants mean work watering even if they're in the ground! He does ask for advice from the real plantsmen so he also have his uses, and of course he mows the grass and cuts hedges. Maybe he's not all that bad to have around *giggle*

Clarice, yes, he was a big help with the heavy work that I couldn't manage alone - like digging the area which used to be under a shed, what looked like soil was only two inches of soil on top of ancient concrete!

Andrew, I wouldn't dare bing handcuffs into the house, who knows what ideas he'd get!!!!!

Terratoonie, I like the way you think! lol Good plans!

Bonkersbon, I haven't met your terminator squirrel!

Milky, I suppose there's no hope, but it's comforting to know we're not alone!

My dad cuts my lawn - he being the proud owner of a large petrol mower and me being a woman, unable to operate machinary (that's according to him BTW!) If I just left him to it, he'd just mow staight over any flowers that were hanging over the lawn - so I have to follow him around with a big stick of some kind and lift plants up as he goes along. Still, I suppose I shouldn't complain - at least I don't have to do it x-D

Absolutely right Sid, we should be grateful for the help they offer, but watch carefully to make sure our plants survive :oD

How can your husband work in a nursery and hate all things green ?
I live on my own (except for my mother who's come to stay after having a stroke ). I wouldn't want to live with anyone now. I can do whatever I like. It's nice.

Madmum - I've just re-read my last comment and it sounds like I follow my dad around with a big stick to hit him with it if he damages my plants! Just wanted to make it clear that the stick is for lifting up the plants. I don't hit him with it very often! x-D

Hywel, he's been there for 10 years and I think he's just sick of it. I can imagine that I'd not want to look after plants after being surrounded by them for the whole of summer. I'm lucky to be able to choose to spend my time gardening!

Sid, I never thought you were doing that, don't worry! lol Not a bad idea for me though.... ;o)

He he ;-)