Away for a short time
By balcony
10 comments
My wife & I are away for a short time looking after her mother in Cuenca.
Here, in Spain, it’s extremely hot & dry! We have been here in Cuenca, my wife’s home town, since last Thursday. Today has probably been the hottest day so far! Couldn’t be more different, could it from what you are experiencing in the UK?
We are here to look after my mother-in-law, I’ve written a couple of blogs on our last few visits to Cuenca. My wife’s sister, who is her full time carer, has had to go to Madrid for a few days to give up her flat there & bring her things back to Cuenca. This will take a few days so we have come over to take her place till she gets herself sorted out again.
We had originally planned to come over for Mother’s Day in Spain, (1st Sunday in May here), but both my wife & I were ill & not fit to travel & we had to cancel the flight.
Although I said in my last blog about my mother-in-law looking very much better in February, after having been in hospital for a few days in November, she has since deteriorated & we found her nearly as bad as in November before she went into hospital. The only difference being she is no longer fighting for breath as she has had oxygen supplement 24/7 since November.
She is as dependent on her daughter as a very small child. She can do practically nothing for herself any longer. She has a mild form of dementia & it can be very frustrating trying to connect with her, especially when it comes to late evening & bedtime approaches. Her personality seems to change & it’s very challenging trying to manage her.
I’ve managed to connect my wife’s laptop with my mobile phone to the Internet. (A process called “Tethering”) It’s difficult to write blogs on the phone with such a small screen.
I’m unlikely to post any more blogs till we get back home. Nevertheless I can write short comments on blogs & photos from my phone. So this time I shan’t be completely absent as on other visits here. If I had known I could tether my phone to the computer & thus access the Internet I would have written more during those visits.
2 Jul, 2016
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I know exactly how you feel as my Mother had been in hospital for over a month and moved to a nursing home last Friday. She has times when she doesn't know me, others when she is alert, which is so very distressing for all of us. I do hope you manage to enjoy your time in sunny Spain!
3 Jul, 2016
Hi balcony, I am so sorry to read about your mother-in-law. It is a very hard time for all when a loved one has dementia. I used to work as a nurse on a dementia ward and saw many time how this was for the families and my thought are with you. What you describe about your mother-in-law confusion being worse in the evening we used to call "sundown syndrome" and very common unfortunately. Take care of yourselves and as said my thought are with you. Jen
3 Jul, 2016
So sorry to read your Mother in law,is so unwell now Balcony....but she is lucky she has you and your wife,and sister in law to help her.It is so hard being a carer,as many of us have experienced in different ways...We can only do so much,can't we? take care,and enjoy some sunshine while you can...
3 Jul, 2016
Sorry about your Mother in Law Balcony,it is very sad,my thoughts are with you.Best wishes to all Callie
3 Jul, 2016
The agitation you see in the evenings and at night is called "Sundown Syndrome" as jenlewis has said and it is this that stresses and wears down caregivers the most. One can hire a caregiver in the day but when that caregiver leaves at the end of the day those family members who chose to take on this task in the evening wind up facing the next day with little or no sleep day after day. This is a very brutal situation for those who choose not or cannot place their loved ones in a 24 hour care facility that takes in those who meet the special needs of people with dementia or Alzheimer's. In the end it is the family care givers now finding themselves trapped in this who need psychological support and an occasional respit; for this situation can go on for years. For the most part this aspect of the equation is missed and what results are disastrous personal consequences for those who tried to help.
3 Jul, 2016
Sorry to hear about your mother in law's problems, Balcony. It puts a strain on everyone concerned and can be very upsetting as Shirley knows with the recent/current situation with her mum .lets hope everything goes well with your sister in law's move back home.
Well done with the 'tethering' ....ha ha, I wouldn't have had the first clue how to do it!
3 Jul, 2016
Try to be positive Balcony, the sunshine out there must be great for you against what we have had here this summer so far, hope you do not get too exhausted looking after your m.i.l. make sure you get some time each day for yourself, even if it means taking yourself off for a while. Like Paul I would have no idea how to 'tether' my phone to my computer, well my phone is a brick lol well done!
3 Jul, 2016
Good for you Balcony, taking on the job when needed. Your MiL's daughter must be grateful for the break, even if she's having to work hard at removing her things. Do you have someone to lookd after your balcony while you are away?
3 Jul, 2016
Just lost the last half an hour of text I'd been writing!!!?? I was trying to reply from my phone but the keyboard kept disappearing!? I can't find the way to get it back either!?
I'll connect to the computer via the"hotspot" I set up on my mobile and connect to the internet once again. That is the process called"tethering"!? If our mobile provider hadn't introduced the ability to use our home plan abroad with the same plan as at home with no extra charge I could never have connected to the Internet - which is what happened in past years.
14 Jul, 2016
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Hello Balcony. I'm sorry to hear your mother in law is not well, and it's nice that you and wife can be there to look after her for a while.
Many people on here can identify with your situation, including myself, and know how stressful it is to cope with an elderly disabled parent 24/7.
It's nice to hear from you. I don't come on GoY now as much as I once did. We can only do what we can do.
Take care, and I hope your mother in law's condition will not deteriorate any further.
As for the weather, I'm fed up with this cold rain but I don't know whether I'd want it hot and dry either. I would find that very depressing. A happy medium would suit me, but we never get that.
3 Jul, 2016