Michael's patch in my garden...

A hard thing to do share the burden isnt it, he was/is a lovely looking lad with a lovely smile ,you can see he's a happy soul and his "patch is a wonderful way to remember him.
I'm sooo sorry for your loss Fluff and will include you all in my prayers.
thank you for showing us this and bless you all!
your friend
Indy
PS I will say I like this blog as it was very brave of you to share this with us.

A beautiful memorial to a wonderful son. I'm glad you felt that you could share it with us. xx

Thank you for sharing Michaels patch,a lovely little area for you to remember him :)

Thank you so much Indy...those are such lovely sentiments.xx

Thank you Silverbelle & Aster...I always love to talk about him but as the years go on his memory fades a little more to other people & I don't want to make anyone sad.x

Fluff I don't know what to say, I''m sitting here with tears running down my face How lovely for Michael to have his own garden, such a lovely smile and such a loss. Oh Fluff I don't know how you can bear it, no choice of course. He will always be your 'little boy' same as he would, had it been otherwise. I've just been back to look at your photos and I'm sorry but it is making me cry again but that is good as it makes me count my blessings......xx

Such a special son to you , who will always be with you and A lovely part of the garden, that you have made for him. Husbands Sons Daughters , even pets that are no longer with us are all special , and are good to remember in our own way

You've created a wonderful place for a lovely son...
thank you for sharing your photos and memories..

Fluff, I've had a little cry too...but thank you for sharing "Micheal's garden" with us. It looks a lovely peaceful spot... Michael's personality and spirit lives on in your garden, as well as in your heart. I hope you find peace and comfort there. Bless you both,
Di xx

Lily please don't cry...he was a big old bundle of sunshine in our lives & wouldn't want you to be sad.
I can hear him telling me off for crying & sometimes I even get angry with him for going but he'd never do anything to hurt anyone & would be so glad he didn't have his sister or girlfriend in the car.x
Thank you Pammie & Terra...I will tidy his patch up soon for the autumn & plant something different to go with his frogs.

Hey Crazydi....I do find both those things there...can't imagine ever moving house either. The cats often sit there,especially big Ol' Mosey as Michael called him & seek out the shade among the leaves. Bless 'em...I bet they know.

Sure they do, our loved ones always know what matters to us somehow!

Thank you.................

Ian? For...?

I'm so glad that big Ol' Mosey sits in Michael's patch...cats aren't daft, are they?
Love and Hugs, Di x

No they certainly are not...& you know that thing they do where they stop washing & suddenly look at the door or at a certain point in the room?...ours do that all the time.

I've got to go out now...to a friend's daughter's 16th birthday party...jeepers that's gonna be loud...so please forgive me if I don't reply to anyone until later.xx

I'm sorry Fluff....I didn't realise...how proud you must be.....what a waste of a young life........you have some wonderful memories to cling on to....a lovely memorial there.....don't know what else to say...but....hold the dream.....
Lou xx

Fluff .. you are so brave . I,m in tears here ... my son is here on holiday and has to drive over 200 miles to go home , I shall be waiting impatiently for the phone call to say they have arrived home safely ...
I love michaels garden , and like to think he is laughing and smiling at you for doing it ....... :o)

I dont know quite what to say Fluff,except I love Michaels patch and feel honoured that you have shared it with us, its a very special place in your garden........

Oh Fluff ! What a beautiful boy. There are not many things that bring a tear to my eye, but they've been flowing freely as I've read this.
Michael's Patch does him proud, even down to the tinnie of Fosters !
He's still with you though and always will be. Our feline friends know these things !
God bless you Michael and R.I.P. xxxxxxx

Good morning folks & thank you soooo much for your lovely support.
I am proud of him Lou...he was such a gentle lad & I keep his stuff around the house with lots of pics to keep him with us.
Amy give your son the biggest hug in the world & he'll get home safely...it's always easy in retrospect to think you should've done things differently but of course that night I just said 'have fun, go steady' as I always did & now I wish I'd not let him go out at all...like you can stop a 20 year old.
Linclass...his patch needs weeding! It is a special place & I must say that being on Goy this year has inspired me to make some changes & improve the soil in my garden so that my plants thrive.
He is still with me Sue & cats & dogs too are very receptive to humans' sorrow or pain aren't they? Wonderful comforters.x

Fluff,
I sat here with tears running down my face, but with a big smile too!
the tears for the loss & pain you have suffered, & the smile because Michael obviously had a good (if too short) life full of love & laughter.
I'm sure he is watching you, & smiling because you have had the bravery to share this with us all.
Thank you, I for one feel privileged to have read this & I'm so touched that you DID share it with us!
There is no greater pain than to lose a child,I know, but your lovely way of honouring Michael has touched my heart.
Much love,
Marie x

Ive only just managed to full read this Fluff, every time ive tried I cant see it for the Tears, There im starting again, What a wonderfull Son Mikey was, and still is in your heart, You done a Brilliant job of bringing him up and his patch is great right down to the fosters, Phew I gotta go, XXX

I am so glad you trusted us with your loss. What a lovely private area you have shared with us. We do need to talk about our lost loved ones. The worst things in the world is losing a beloved child. Thank you - I did cry but they are worth the tears and comfort comes as the years pass though the loss is always raw. I too like Keane what a wonderful son you have to remember. Yes I too think animals, know more than we know!

Oh goodness now you see how hard it is to tell people...I just make everyone cry...& now you guys are making me cry with the lovely things you say. Some tears are good tho' I find...especially over loved ones ...& I include our pets in that.
Marie, Daisydee & Di....thank you for what you said....I really worried about posting this as I know it's not what many Goyers want to read about when they log on & I didn't want to offend...but I'm glad I did.
You have no idea how much it helps (or maybe you have,I'm sorry) to talk about my boy...his going turned our world upside down & his sister & grandmother did not cope well but time has settled us into a state of acceptance if I can call it that.
Thanks guys ...you are all stars.xx

I think you're the star, Fluff!

Right, I've read this enough times to stop blubbing and can now comment. I think you were very brave to share your most private of places. I think that people don't just go.... They have to go somewhere and I'm sure your son Mikey is lighting up the faces of the people where ever it is he went to.
I love this blog Fluff and wouldn't have missed it for the world.
Thank You.
Ian.

How could reading about your beautiful boy offend anyone Fluff ? The longer I'm on this site the more I realise what a 'family' it is and who better to talk to about things than 'family' ?
You talk about Michael anytime you want to Fluff, there'll always be one of us here to listen.
And if the sun ever comes out I shall raise a tinny of Fosters to him in the garden !
God bless xxx

I second that Fluff! I envy you, in a way, for having the strength to discuss such issues with us, and will be there if you want to talk about Michael anytime!

Ian! I wondered where you'd gone...thought I'd upset you.
It's not a bravery thing ...it's to do with knowing people well enough to tell them...it's not something you share with strangers.
You see how it affects folk? I couldn't grieve for 6 months as I had his distraught sister to help thru' it, crying teenagers on our sofa & my mum to whom Mikey was everything as he was the only grandchild who helped her with her garden & car.
She had already lost my Dad & my sister & last year she lost my brother so it's a good job she has her faith or she would be worse than she is now.
I'm afraid I have no such belief now so I deal with things on my own but after that 6 months I fell apart myself.

Right that's enough sad stuff...I'm so glad to hear from you Ian...sweetie pops.
I just hope Michael has met his heroes..Stuart Adamson (lead singer of Big Country), Marc Bolan etc! xx

Thank you Marie & Sue! That's just fab.xx

Sorry I didn't answer earlier, as I said I tried several times but just couldn't get there without risking short circuiting my keyboard.
However you deal with things is the right way, as long as you are dealing with them and not storing them up in a closet somewhere.
All our love and big ((((((Hugs))))) from Carol, Holly and me.

You're welcome!

Thanks Ian & Carol & Holly...big hugs back.xx

Fluff what a lovely place you've made for your son, i enjoyed you sharing your memories of him with us all xx.

Thank you so much Carol...I can talk about him now with you lovely folk...that's really good for me.x

Fluff i know how it feels to loose someone close may not be one of my children, but my parents past away quite a few years ago, and so did 2 of my sisters, but i lost 2 sisters this year aswell, one in May and one in July.x

I remember you telling us Carol...it's such a sad world sometimes isn't it? You had a hard time this year losing your sisters so close to one another...I hope you are coping ok. I find friends & cats are my solace.....& of course my husband who is Michaels's step - father but loves him as his own.x

Ido find my friends a god sent, and i do have my cat Smokey, so im not to bad, i also still have 4 sisters left, two live away from me, but i do still have one sister who only lives about 10min walk from me, so it is getting easier.

Goodness what a big family.

Next can of Fosters I have I'll take out to my special part of my garden and it will be raised in a toast to Michael - and to his mum and family. Bless you all.

Aw Wagger...thank you ...that's really sweet of you.

a lovely blog and why be afraid to share it with us. I and many others have special plants as memorials to parents and friends.
A beautiful space for a clearly loved young man.

Thank you SBG.

Hello Fluff I hope today was ok for you. After reading so many of your GOY friends kind thoughts.

I love michaels garden it looks a happy and yet a peaceful place to remember him and his little ways, Last year my son was in a crash on the motorway coming home from work at christmas,Thank God he survived......but i still have palpitations thinking "what if".......There are sooo many stories out there and we do'nt know untill we share.
Thanks
God Blessxx

Hi Denise...yes it was lovely to hear from everyone so kindly. I really do appreciate all the support.x

Thank you Swanky...since Michael there have been so many losses of youngsters...even some who went to school with Michael & his sister...it's heartbreaking.
I want to shout at them all to slow down or not go out or get a bigger, safer car but I'd be labelled a mad hatter if I did!x

You talkin about me again?????? LOL!
I know what you mean though, you just want to try to protect them all!
That's not mad, its totally natural!!

Thanks Marie...I was going to add...no offence to you!

None taken! LOL!!!
I've been pm-ing everybody!! did I send you one? I'm starting to forget!!

No....sob.:0(

Oops! its to do with my Lily blog, but I'll send it to you!
Didnt know who would know what I was on about! Look at the blog & you'll see!

OK!

LOL!! Thanks!

Had a butchers MP...website looking good...shame about not being able to use Goy but we can come up with other ideas. Look forward to your progress! Go girl!

So you got in then!! I've had a few maessages from people who couldnt get there! They were using google & yahoo search, but it takes weeks for them to register new sites!

I just copied & pasted it into my URL...Sounds like I know what I'm talking about but I'm quoting hubby! He says you should post it as a hyperlink so people can just click on it?

I'll try to work out how to do that! I think its on my about me page?????

There's a hyperlink on my profile page, I just tried it out!

Woohoo! :0)

Did you find the blog??

For sure...just posted a comment on your site! Gotta go to bed now...pooped with all this site cruising!! Nite nite.xx

Sweet Dreams! How d'ya think I feel!!

thank you for sharing, most everything has been said, a lovely memorial to your son

such a personal blog...thanks for sharing...;-))

I can think of no worse thing than the loss of a child - everything else pales by comparison. It must have been terrible to get through, but you made it, and for that I admire you. Regards, M

Goodness it's been a long day...just sat down...to say thank you Grindle, Sandra & Bamboo...for your comments & your support.xx

Evening Fluff, I've put a photo up for you, If you don't like it I'll take it down again, no probs.
Ian

Hey Ian...seen it, loved it, bought the T shirt! Thank you!

Just my way, I hope you don't mind.
x x x

It's a lovely way Ian...of course I don't mind...it's fab.xx

fluff

big hug for you

x x x

Hi Mookins....& thank you.x

Oh Fluff......I'm so glad you finally decided to post this blog. Sorry I'm a bit late getting here. What a lovely tribute to Michael. It is such a beautiful spot...very peaceful and serene. Whenever I see Fosters I will now be thinking of Michael and everytime I catch a frog at work I'll let it go in the pond for him.
Bless you, Michael and all your family. xx

I'm late, as well - but none the less moved by your blog and your bravery, Fluff. I am trying not to cry, as you don't want your friends on GOY to do that, but I am thinking of you - and your memorial in the garden - so fitting. xx

Gilli...thank you...it took a bit of thinking about. Good to hear from you ...& you too Spritz...I'm glad you like Michael's patch...I'm going to add things next year & make sure the wind & rain can't disturb it. Thank you both...
Sorry I didn't respond last night...broadband was down due to the bad weather .

oh im not sure what to say to you fluff, im in tears here for you and your lovely son, i really dont know how you have got through all this,i have two sons 24 and 17 and couldnt imagine my life without them, i love michaels patch he would love it and bet it makes him laugh to, you are so brave and my heart goes out to you and your family, glad you felt you could share this with us here on GOY, hugs and love sandra xx

Thank you Sandra...that's nice...give those sons of yours a big hug from me ...whether they want it or not! I want to hug every lad I see.
There was an advert for Sky in a mag the other day of a young man asleep & I was certain Michael had been doing some modelling without telling me! If I can I'll put in on to show you ...it's uncanny.
Also a year after he left us he got a police summons thru' the post for doing 42 mph in a 30 mph zone in London in his own car! You can imagine....x

That must've really freaked you out, Fluff! I hope they apologised!
As for hugging every lad you see, you could get arrested for that! Or have some fun!

oh my god how awfull, surely that was a big blunnder on there part as they should have known your son had died fluff,i bet you felt sick to your stomach,x
ps, will pass the hugs on for you, :o)

Fluff....I'm going to hug my 21 year old (even though his bedroom is an absolute mess, and there's Bud bottles everywhere....) and my 30 year old son....whether they like it or not!! Thank you so much for sharing Michael with us...it puts everything else into perspective.
Hugs for you too xxx

Thanks guys...I wrote the police a letter explaining & yes of course they apologised profusely & said on closer inspection of the photo evidence they had got the wrong car!...so I wrote another letter...a bit snotty this time... & told them to get it right.
Di...tell your boys I'm sorry about the hug but it's gotta be done & then you'll leave them to their Buds & messy bedrooms! Sound like normal lads to me!
I'm sure I get funny looks when I stare at young men Marie but I don't care...some of them look so like him...but he'd laugh at me anyway!

I was talking about you hugging them! He'd roar with laughter at that!! :~))))))))

He would too!! Git!x

LMAO at the thought!!

Blimey...where does the evening go? Gotta go to bed...Friday tomorrow...whoohoo!!!

Goodnight, may angels sing thee to thy rest!

I liked your blog (but am reading this during a quiet bit a work with tears running down my cheeks!) - I also have a little patch in my garden where i grow lillies as my Mum had emphysema and couldnt have them but loved them - so I grow them for her! I think your son would be proud of you and how you've coped - so keep your chin up your doing well. xx

That's a lovely thing to say Genuiscuffy...thank you...how fab to have a lily patch for your Mum. I'm sure she loves it.
I hope Michael would see that I miss him so much every day & that a little bit of my garden devoted to him is my way of showing that.
I have probably become more interested in gardening since he went as it gave me a quiet place to cry...I was once weeding the rockery when my mobile rang & it was a lorry driver friend of ours...a big, burly bloke called Chubby who caught me at a low point & he was so sweet & said such unusually (for him) sensitive things that I cried all the more when he hung up but the flowers cheered me & that's when I thought of doing a patch for my lad.

Fluff I have only just found your brave but devastating blog, and seen Michael's Patch. You are so brave and to share it with us on GoY was a wonderful thing to do.He was a lovely boy alright, it must be unbearable. Nothing could be worse for a mother than to lose her child and it must feel that the wound will never heal. My grandson died 18 years ago at the age of 16 and even now that the wound is more a scar, my daughter his mother still hurts, I know. So do I.
Your lovely Patch was a wonderful idea, and I know that he can see you and it. We can talk of Jem and laugh about some funny things he said and did now. He will always be with you, you know that.

Yes he will Mad...& my heart goes out to your daughter. It's a bit like losing a limb...you learn to get along in life without it but you miss it every single day.Thank you.x

sorry about your granson to mad x

Just got round to reading your past blogs and found this one. Don't know what to say. Gutted! You did right to include this blog. I just hope it goes a little way to easing your grief and burden. Thank you Fluff.

Thanks Fluff for sharing love the idea of a special place in the garden. When my son Scott died this year on april15th a lot of friends brought me hydrangeas.These are special to me and I might have mentioned I am a florist so when I did his funeral flowers they were all blues and whites and he loved to watch the Scottish football. ( Although why they are mince most of the time)! but as his name means "belonging to Scotland". He had very set ideas regarding flowers etc and only ever liked whites and blues.1 week before he died he was in the shop as I was making a funeral tribute. and he said he really liked it ( it was all white with a touch of thistle blue statice and delphiniums) "A lot better than your usual Wednesday afternoon wreaths Reds and oranges ! I don't like those!!!!
Yes I agree I will learn to live without him but ill miss him every day, and that is why my garden has become my solace.Thanks again Fluff.

Thank you Merfyn...lovely comments.x

Hey Mary...Michael's fave flowers were gerberas...especially the red ones...his sister likes me to buy them growing in a pot for her periodically...then she forgets to water them & I buy her another!!
She also had a tattoo done on the top of her arm with his name in pretty lettering & a lovely swirly pattern underneath...I was a bit gobsmacked ...not only at the tattoo bit but also her strength of character to have her brother's name on her arm for ever.
Kids eh? When will they stop breaking our hearts?xx

Marydoll Mad and Fluff you have all had tough crosses to bare.....big hugs to you all..xxxx

From me too!

I'll join in this group hug for sure. :~))
by the way Fluff this is your 100th comment on this blog! ! !

Thanks guys...don't think I've ever met such a lovely bunch of folk. Ian...how are you? Are you quite recovered from your close encounter with a bush? And Marie...you're not working too hard are you after your spell of recovery? Sandra...how are you? Happy to join in a group hug?!
Mikey would've loved you lot.xx (Thought you were all totally bonkers...as he did me...but loved you all the same!!).xx

Sorry Ian....only just sat down & quickly replied to everyone's comments...totally missed what you said...100 comments...that's fab!

Hi Fluff! I'm not at work this week, I started Uni instead!
Thanks for the comment about Michael! I'm sure we'd've loved him too
I found a poem today, that I think you'll like (Mikey would hate it, too mushy!!) .........
.
A rose once grew where all could see
sheltered behind a garden wall.
And, as the days passed swiftly by
it spread its branches straight & tall........
One day, a beam of light shone through
a crevice that had opened wide -
the rose bent gently towards its warmth
then passed beyond to the other side
Now you, who deeply feel its loss
be comforted- the rose blooms there.
Its beauty even greater now
nurtured by the creator's loving care.

Thanks Marie...I think that's lovely ...but you're right ...Michael would've said 'blah...pass the bucket!'
Lads eh?!

Hope Uni going well...does that mean you are getting up at midday & eating pot noodles??!!

I know, I have 4 brothers
so I can guess the reactions!
No, I was getting up at midday BEFORE I went! Now it takes 3 buses to get there so I'm up early!!
And I hate pot noodles!! Yuk!

Hmmmm me too...rubber bands in sn*t! ;0)

LMAO!!! Sounds about right!
Baked tatties for me!

Yak, but true Fluff. LMSO

Fluff: As we became 'favourites' to each other, only a short time ago, I had missed this one.

How lucky you were and how wonderful you are to share with us the internal and external beauty of your big bundle of love! He looks like a true gentleman and someone who so obviously made you proud.

His memory and love will live in in your mind and at this wonderous place that is, Michael's Patch.

I realise from your comments to to others who have commented before me, that you are more for celebrating the life he had and more importantly, the man he was, than mourning his passing. A wonderful, poignant, yet heart-wrenching part of your life to have shared with so many but I, like many others, thank you for that.

May Michael rest in peace and I'm sure he'll forgive you the 'pink' flowers.

Oddbillie...Dan...just sat down after a busy day & read your lovely words in tears...all I can say is thank you...thank you for what you say & also for seeing the truth of it all...he would hate me to be sad so I try to keep the happy memories forefront in my mind & my life.

He will be 27 years old this Sunday coming, 4th Oct, & it's really hard to imagine what he'd be like... a little more mature ( Michael...mature? Never!)...& maybe even married? He'd make the best dad in the world....

You're a star young Danny boy...thank you.xxx

I wrote a poem for my mum a few short years ago, when we lost my dad. I had it framed and it hangs on her wall in the home she now resides at. My sister thought I had copied it from somewhere, but I had not.

The day after we lost him, I sat at my computer and put down words that I thought would bring some comfort comfort to mum.

Would you be offended if I PM'd it to you?

Sorry Ob...been off catching up on others' blogs.
I wouldn't be in the least offended...please pm me your poem.xx