A privet to treasure...

what a story joanella ~ certainly one to treasure, its an incredible story.

thank you Stick,i waited a long time for the ending though..lol.:o)

well done for seeing it through.

it was something i had to do & kept at it, glad i did.

Amazing blog, Joan, to think they lived so close by for 30 years! I'm sad you never got to meet them, but pleased you traced them and have photos now. Can you believe I have five cousins in Australia, last seen two of them when I was aged four, never met the other ones! Aunty Grace and her new husband went out to Oz in the Sixties, for £10 or something ridiculous, and never returned to the U.K. It broke my Grannys heart when they flew out to stay for three weeks, Grace had a new husband and one of the boys had joined the Army to get away. They were incredibly poor and living in a corrugated tin roof house! My Dad refused to let me try to trace them as Grace had upset Granny so much. I just think it's best if I leave well alone, it's been so long now. : o (((

i am glad in a way i didnt meet them Shirley,Hilda was a very talented woman & was a translator for the town hall and as an embroider for the queen (towels & sheets etc).
i too had family that went to Australia on the £10 package ..still keep in touch.. my auntie never settled uncle loved it she pined to come home but never did sadly..they first lived in the tin houses,all their children have done well though.i can imagine how upset your granny was and can also understand your dad feeling like that, it is soo easy to trace people now even in Australia but if you feel as you do maybe its for the better..:o)

Fascinating blog, Joanella... I've sent you a pm. :o)

What an interesting story Joanella and how lovely that you have something tangible and living to remember them by. My husband does a lot of genealogy and has found many relatives for my good friend next door including some in Canada who she has since met up with. I'm interested in the research but on paper is as far as I would probably want to go with my own relatives.
My husband was due to go to Australia on the £10 scheme but met me in the nick of time. His Mum loved me forever, just for that!

thanks once again TT .:o))
hi Lily,i find genealogy really interesting i have also found relatives for my daughter in law, good of your husband to help find your neighbours relatives i bet she was pleased .
lol at your mum in law :o))

what a heart tugging story....long may your privet live

aw thanks Scabiousshe,that is why its in the greenhouse.. lol will take cuttings from it later.:o)

Thanks for sharing your story with us - amazing! I'm so glad the cutting is thriving. :-))

what a touching story joan, i really felt for you, so glad you found what you wanted and the privet will be a lasting reminder, a shame your dad didnt keep in touch especially not having any children after you, my brother finally traced my dads father who we all never knew even my dad, but sadly he`s gone and his wife, but brother found out there is a step son so hopefully my brother will get contact so we can find out more about george my real grandad.hope your privet grows for many years joan :o))

cheers Sandra,you are right about the privet (i dont even like them lol ) things happen in life dont they ? you realise as you get older & wiser, i would always say .. if anyone is thinking about trying to find someone.. do it now..Sad that your dad didnt know his dad i hope your brother continues his search and can fill in the gaps for you ..you never know George may have been a special person, i hope you find out .:o))

Amazing blog Joanella My parents split up when i was about 2 and i was raised by my dad. He had re married a bengali lady. He was always away from home running his business's whilst i and my younger brother were left in the care of my step mother. He didn't know how she was treating us while he was away. She used to buy fishing nets for 6p, remove the net and keep the cane. Every day when we got home from school we used to get a good thrashing for what ever reason,only she knew. We were warned that if we told any one it would get worse. My mum started to visit us out side school when i was 10 unbeknown to dad. When she saw what the marks on our bodies she decided to try for custody. At this point my dad sent us on holiday to east pakistan now known as bangla deshfor 2 weeks. That holiday lasted from 1965 to 1977. That's how long it took before i could make contact with my mum again through the red cross and british embassy. I was 11 when i was taken away and 23, married with 3 children when i was able to return to my mum again. We had 8 happy years before she passed away with cancer. My father didn't want anything to do with me as he never forgave me for choosing to bewith her but i have no regrets. I hope your privets grow and live long Joanella

wow what a story you have to tell Rohima, i was going to bed & just caught your comment,what a wicked stepmother you had i bet you dreaded going home from school.i can imagine how your mum must have felt knowing you were being treated badly,she must have loved you both to see you without your dad knowing,i wonder what made your dad send you to Pakistan & if he knew how long you would be away?it is good you had 8 yrs with your mum but i know it scars you for life doesnt it ?i am glad you dont have any regrets as you dont need to..he chose a woman who he obviously did not know was beating his children but he should have sensed something was not right..:o))

Great story and it is so spooky how things work out - being that close to you and all. Glad you got what you were looking for - it sometimes does pay off to be persistant on something - lovely picture - so pleased for you :):):)

Don't know what to say Joanella and Rohima, my eyes are too misty.

I always wanted a happy ending... Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it without knowing what's going to happen next.

Gilda Radner 1946-1989

Take care both of you.

hi Paul & thanks for your comment,it is spooky how some things happen..i cant believe Ted was served in a pub every weekend by his grandson & never knew it, and yes it does pay to be persistant.:o)
Martin, oh how true those words are.. thank you for sharing them ,i hope your eyes are ok now ..lol :o))

What a lovely blog, so glad that you got a photo and of course the privet! Small things can mean so much, I have two plants which I remember my mum and dad by, a pink hydrangea for my dad-a cutting he grew for me and a white japanese anemone which I remember my mum by every time I look at them. :-)

thanks Red,glad you liked it,yes its funny how plants can become so precious to us but its also nice.. as you say when you look at them you think of that person..great that you have a plant for each of your parents..:o)

Thanks for sharing the story of your life's search with us, Joanella. Amazing having your father live so close & yet never knowing it! Even more amazing to think he was being served by his grandson at the pub!

Hope the Privet grows well for you. :-))

thank you Balcony,its even more amazing that i have an uncle nearby that doesnt want to know either,as the saying goes ..There's nowt so queer as folk.:o)

How sad that your dad only lived a short distance from you,its amazing what life throws at you, hope your privit does well for you, its looking healthy.

hi Clarice , thank you for your comment yes i probably walked past him in the street or in a local shop , its a closed book though now for me thankfully..:o)

how lovely you got ans finally .. i do understand as my granddad did the same ... i wish i cud find out . but not so easy as they lived in praqe ... may be 1 day !!! so pleased 4 you !!!

hi Cristina,yes it turned out ok in the end for me.it helps if you have as much information as possible ..dates..addresses..where born & died etc its worth a try ..on some ancestry sites you get 2wks free trial i would just give it a go and see what happens you never know. :o))

Fascinating/sad/touching stories relating to family history research, now so easy on the internet....as never before. My maternal grandmother is a mystery to me, and she lived just across the street. I tracked my cousin down, who lived in her house until fifteen, and she could not tell me any more about her either. They moved because her brother was to be born. There could have been a quarrel. My gran spoke about Barnton in Cheshire but hailed from Doncaster! Mentioned being 'in service'. I knew she had a terrible marriage which SHE never spoke about. Lived alone after her son moved to his mother in laws. Lost 2 babies, SHE never spoke of. She told us stories, gave us sweets during rationing. However she was cool and remote. So little other detail. So please those of you with slightly older grandchildren.....tell the story of your life good/bad/ ordinary/dramatic or leave it to be read sometime. They may eventually be interested.

JONELLA ITS VERY COMEPLECATED AS ALL ABRAUD .... AND TO DO WTH RUSHIA IN THJE WAR AND GERMANY , IT WUD MAKE GREAT READING BUT I JUST DONT NOOOOO WHERE TO START , MY MUM AND GRANDMOTHER WORKED 4 FILMSTARS IN HYDEPARK. BUT MY GRANDAD WAS INTO MUSIC .. I THINK A BIT OF A GUPSY LOL AND DISAPEARED SO THERE WUD B A COMPLEATE NEW FAMILY SOMWHERE . SORY BT TX A BIT LAZY 2 DAY AS NOT WELL ALL WEEK .
AGREE WTH D . EVERY 1 SHUD CHAT BT THERE LIFE !!!

thanks Dorjac, sorry you did not get to know about your grandmother she sounds to have had a hard life mind you i think most did in those days,my maternal g/mother is also a mystery to us even my mother doesnt know anything about her except it is thought she was sent over here from Ireland as a child to live with an old nasty aunt, i have searched but cannot find anything about her. you are so right about telling your story or leave it to be read someone will want it one day..:o)
hi Cristina,sorry to hear you have not been well & hope you feel better soon, your history maybe a bit harder than most to research but as you have said it would be a great story..your mum & g/mother working for film stars for a start, i bet there were a few tales to tell there..& a whole new family..think of all the extra xmas presents you would have to buy. lol :o)

Joanella, I was gripped by your story. So sad that your uncle has chosen not to know you, but that may change in time. Wonderful that you now have a cousin, and I'm really touched by your gesture of taking the Privet from your dad's garden. There are so many people born at the time of war who will never know their story....so much shame gets in the way of people knowing the truth about their families. I'm so glad that you finally found Ted..amazed that he had been so close all those years...sad that it was after his death....but you finally got to see him on his photos. Well done for not giving up! :))

hi KS and thank you for your comments, yes like you i fear a lot of family history has been lost.. hidden or put in the closet for whatever reason..i think a lot was to do with shame it was very different back then,One of my aunties had 4 children taken by Social Services for reasons i dont know & they were adopted out..it couldnt have been that bad as she loved her kids & as far as i can see..looking back ..she was as good as any mum could be i think it was maybe that she wasnt married, she never got over it..so there are 4 ..now grown ups that dont know any of their history.Yes i am glad i got the privet hubby thinks im mad lol,i am not bothered about the uncle KS i am not wasting any more time & energy on them,as you said i have the photos now..:o)

:)) I remember being so shocked to find out that as late as the 60s women were still being forced out of their family homes into institutions for being pregnant out of marriage. At least SOME things have improved...or perhaps they have gone too far the other way now!! ....;))

yes you may be right about that too, we are too protected sometimes:o))

That is certainly true Karen that there were mother and baby homes all over the country, in the sixties, and these usually rather young women, were forced to move to have a baby far away from home, if they couldn't marry the father. Then adoption might take place too. It was a brutal process. I saw the fall out from it in the seventies, as a community midwife from 1963-1992. If a 'first time' mum was making heavy weather of early baby care, I usually found a way to ask if she had been through this process. Somewhere out there was her first child. As time wore on, Karen, in the eighties, I realised one day that my visits diary had 8 out of 12 visits to single mums.....shock horror...how quickly do things swing around in society?We seldom seem to get it comfortably right!!!!