Maria's chrysanthemums

I should try large containers Maria, you can use proper compost to suit each particular plant, and easy to keep an eye on the plants. Good luck !

Hi Gattina...
Wonderful story.. can you add photos to this blog ?
Would be lovely to see ...

Oh Gattina. Don't hate me, but I feel closer to the mad Maria than you. Half of women in Cyprus are called Maria and I also have a daughter called Maria. We also have the same superstitions with Maria, although she is a catholic and we are orthodox. I pray when she dies after 10 years at 90 she goes to paradise, because "mad" people are more innocent and better people than the.........brainy ones.

I will go to paradise then Costas ;o))

My mother hated Hyacinths because they reminded her of graves. And also Arum lilies seem to remind people of death ....
I like all flowers .... They are living things :o) People make up superstitions to suit themselves.

I would get some Chrysanths Gattina - I've always grown them and I am still here (so far lol)

Oh, Dear, TT, of Maria or the chrysanths? I can see her being very suspicious of my reasons.
When I said "Mad" - she's the most gorgeous person and probably the sanest neighbour we've got. She's just a bit outrageous and an original. Great philosopher. She isn't afraid to tell God what she thinks he should be doing, and tells him off when he gets it wrong. She has a salty sense of humour and regales us with tales of the bedroom. Her son, Luciano, a shy and lonely man until his mid-forties, fell in love with a Rumanian girl who worked in the village, and wanted to marry her. "That's fine" said Maria, "but I'm an old woman and I can't stay all alone in the house over night. You can marry her and go home at lunch time to make babies, but you sleep HERE." And he does.
She loves my OH's beard, and takes every opportunity to stroke it lovingly, and puts her hand on his knee when she can reach, and then looks over at me, winks and says "Jealous, are you?" She sews herself into her woollen underwear each October, and is horrified that I don't. We had a Christmas party a few years back: the house was toasty warm, and I was wearing a thin silk shirt and a skirt. In a room crammed with people she hugged me, then pulled up my shirt and shouted in horror "Beh! E' tutta nuda! (Come on, guys, I don't have to translate that, do I?) In summer she wears a baseball cap that says "New York Yankees". She occasionally 'phones me and shouts "Where are you? You haven't been to see me for ages. I'll expect you in half an hour!"
She's a terrible gossipmonger, too. We have, just towards the top of our drive, an echo. Anything you say you can hear bouncing off the mountain opposite. She usually waits until she's leaving and is making her farewells just there, then leans towards me, saying "Have you heard about so-and-so?" But she shouts, 'cos she's deaf. Her usual phrase is "Tra di noi......." (Between ourselves) and the whole village and quite few towns up the mountain hear every word.
Totally sane and really very brainy in her way, Costas, but mad at the same time. And lovely. God will be waiting for her with open arms.

I wish I was surrounded by many Marias Gattina. All my neighbours seem to be very nice and polite polite. I recently learned from some one else, that by pure coincidence they are all GP doctors 4 of them, but I know nothing else about them and never spoken to them, except the usual good morning, nice weather when it happens to arrive or leave our houses at the same time. You are lucky she is there and unlucky she will depart soon.

Makes good reading Gattina, she sounds a lovely neighbour with a good sense of humour....

We Have some wonderful, kind and generous neighbours - very down to earth and simple people. In fact we seem to have far more friends out here than we ever did back in the UK. A bit like you, Costas, we lived nearly 20 years in the same house, and never knew our neighbours, other than a quick nod of greeting each time we saw each other.
It will be a sad, sad day when Maria does go, but we shan't be sorry for her - it's what she wants. She says she's tired now. She shows absolutely no sign of going yet, though, except her arthritis and rheumatics play her up, especially in winter. She's my adoptive Mum!

Oh Gattina you are lucky to have such a lovely friend like maria, we could do with a lot more Marias in this world. take care of her.:o)

What a little gem,Maria is..and I love the way she says what she thinks..nothing two faced about her,is there ?
I am lucky to have good elderly neighbours too..a cheery wave,and passing the time of day,is the norm for us...and of course..we have plenty of free time to do it :o).I have never had the desire to live any other way..I love people and their friendliness here..and have been lucky enough to have always had it.:O)..except when I lived in a bedsit,in a house in London,and never ever saw one of the other tenants in the two years I was there !
PS..will get round to a PM soon..sorry,been out and about again ! Lol.

I've just uploaded a picture of Maria, but couldn't add it to this blog - it's among my pictures. No, Definitely not faded, Bloomer. She puts me to shame.
It's funny, isn't it? Why are town dwellers (Don't want to generalise, here) so private? I lived in London for quite a while - right in the middle, at Marble Arch, and I used to say then that it was the most crowded but the lonliest place on earth.

I will take a look at Maria..she sounds to have a great wicked sense of humour too :o) ..we would get on well! :o)
I lived in Victoria,Gattina..enjoyed the experience,but was ready for back home in Cumbria..for a little while ! ..soon got itchy feet again.Lol.

We've found the same as you, Gattina - in our tiny village (only 5 permanent residents and that includes us two!) we've been accepted into the 'family' and are included in Semana Santa celebrations (Easter), Navidad (Christmas) and Dia del Reyes (Day of the Kings) along withg many barbecues. Everything large gets shared - bits of pig, goat, sheep, wild boar, apples, pears and gluts of veggies come our way and, only yesterday, there was my neighbour at the door with a bagful of walnuts. We're fairly new to all this (only been here 5 years) so our 'sharing' comes down to my weekly baking and jars of chutneys and jams, and Partners help with harvests, animal dung removal (!!), tree cutting and collection for firewood and driving to hospital appointments 20 kms away. Again like you - what a great life! So different from our previous life in Essex where we were only on nodding terms with neighbours (much as we tried to integrate further!). Wouldn't change what we have now for the world! :o))))))

Lovely blog and a lovely friend you have.

yes, lovely blog, enjoyed reading all about Maria.
I lived in Marble Arch for 4 months and felt lonely too!! Glad I live in the countryside now with my husband and our 3 adorable dogs!

What a lovely story gattina , I think you will probably live there until you are 90. What a wonderful way of life and you would probably miss it if you came back here. Its funny, because my hubby always calls chrysanths funeral flowers and doesn't really like them in the house.He has to put up with them as its a good late flower to brighton a room up. It sounds like you have good fun with this old lady.

Yes, Rose, she and I spend a fair bit of time putting the world to rights and laughing our heads off. Our daughter is a big hit with her, and vice versa. Jen says she hopes she is as sharp and sensible when she gets to her 90's.
People round here are very long-lived, it seems, I think mainly because they never stop working, and the air is incredibly pure.
I love chrysanthemums, but have never really tried to grow them - it's the scent I find so wonderful, and the autumn colors - so much softer than dahlias.

And all that olive oil!!

I know i'm a bit late adding my comment, but I have just found this and what a wonderful blog it is; The more I hear about Italy the more I like it. It was lovely reading this as it is just like reading a book, and so well written too. Thank you Gattina, and may I say that I too, love the dear Maria. She's a delight...

We nearly lost her the other day, Breda! My OH came rushing into the house shouting "Come Quickly!" and I rushed outside to find a MASSIVE (at first I thought it was a deer on our lawn) greyhound outside the front door, eyeing up a dozen of our cats who were sitting, wild-eyed up the fig tree. He had no collar, but was obviously a pedigree dog, and really very friendly. He leaned against me and I had to grab the front door to avoid falling over. I started ringing round to see if anyone knew who the owner was. In the meantime, the dog had grabbed OH's jerkin (luckily OH wasn't in it at the time) and was shaking it violently, then started galloping wildly up and down the garden with it. I'd had no luck on the 'phone, so I fastened a piece of webbing round his neck (the dog's, not OH's) like a lead, and off we trotted up through the village. Maria was standing outside her door with a couple of friends, and as soon as he saw her, the dog started hurtling towards her. I couldn't hold him and he slipped his makeshift collar, anyway. If he'd made contact, she'd have been bowled over, but I was, for a moment terrified that he was going to grab her and start shaking her: he would have had no problem, she weighs no more than a puffball. Tiny Maria stood her ground and pointed at him and bellowed "VAI!", and the dog had a Tom & Jerry moment and skidded to a standstill. By the time I caught up with him, Maria was standing (very nearly nose to nose) scratching his ears, and he was gazing into her eyes, obviously besotted. He tried licking her face and she smartly and fearlessly smacked him on the nose. "Oh yes" she said, "Apparently this one has been roaming the village and the hills for the past two days." Poor thing. I headed back to the telephone, the dog trailing after me. Eventually we traced the very worried owner, and "Jack" was safely returned. It was nearly dark by the time I was wearily trudging back through the village, and Maria popped her head round her front door. "You want to be careful of that dog - he could eat you in two mouthfuls!" she said. Or in one in her case.

Oh this was so comical,Gattina..I could just visualise it all..never a dull moment comes to mind ! I was pleased you were able to find Jack's owner..a lovely happy ending..and glad your fearless friend Maria came to the rescue ..what a woman ! Lol.

Yes, she is. I bet you lot think I make all of this up. I don't have to. She's priceless.

I had to chuckle when I read this as I too have an adorable old neighbour (still a signorina) who's as deaf as a door post (altho' she can now hear snippets of conversation since she's had new ears fitted in!) but so kind and loving. A friend came to visit from England and bought Ottavia a bunch of chrysanthemums as a thankyou for some lasagna she'd made for us - Ottavia's face dropped - she was so MORTIFIED (literally) ..... but being as kind as she is, she said thankyou and stated she would take them to the cemetery to put on her sister's grave !!

It's terribly difficult to absorb and appreciate all the different customs and beliefs and avoid upsetting or offending the locals when one first adopts a community. Only last night I learned of a whole new network of relationships that exists between the various people we know hereabouts. One of the (apparently) richest and snobbiest (well, all right, most conscious of Bella Figura, let us say) ladies of the area is the daughter of the scruffiest, semi-illiterate, down-at heel jack of all trades in the village, and his fearsomely aggressive wife. There are loyalties and generation-long feuds at every level that we never guessed, and we have learned (eventually) NOT to make either scurrilous or complimentary comments about ANYONE. There are vendettas that go back 60 years or more, and I mortally offended one neighbour by saying that another was "Buona come il pane", when they are the bitterest of enemies.
Luckily, we sussed the chrysanthemum problem quite early on in our stay here. Much earlier, indeed, than our daughter, who went to visit the family of a friend, and took a bunch of chrysanthemums for the granny, who had only recently been released from hospital after a heart attack. Luckily, she was warned before they were presented, so I was given them instead. Not sure what that says about our relationship!

Well I've got some chrysanthemums growing in my little garden and I think they look so happy and cheerful - I will hopefully take a photo over the weekend as proof!

I can relate so well to what you are saying Gattina. Although I have to admit your comments are perhaps more pertinent to my Sicilian roots and less so to where we live in Lazio. Bella figura and lack of respect leading to ensuing vendetta is of paramount vital importance in the South (do you have many ex-southerners in your area??) - I remember some distant relation of dad's (Sicilian) didn't speak to his brother for decades 'cos he hadn't passed on the "salute" of this person or other ... totally unforgiveable - this was something my mother (originating from a more central part of Italy) could never understand as she just wasn't used to having to continually measure her words or actions. . . I compromise by being very selective with a restricted circle of buoni amici, just smiling sweetly with a friendly buongiorno to everyone else and then mind my own business!!

Very, very wise, but terribly isolating, isn't it? I really don't want to be like that, and we find ourselves in the company more and more of the few ex-pats in the area (quite a big area), which is something we never planned or wanted to do. This area is gradually emptying. The capoluogo is getting to be like a ghost town, and a lot of people we know only come up here at weekends and in the summer because they have apartments down in the city. The economy being what it is, the leases are going unrenewed and the holiday homes are going up for sale. The old folk are dying out and the sons and daughters don't want the country life - their businesses aren't here. Beautiful old stone houses that aren't sold are falling into ruins, and the farmers don't want to stay any more. Our only southerner here is Terèsa, who is Calabrese - ostracised and scorned by the locals, and called "Cafone", but not to her face (thank goodness - contadina is bad enough)- who is one of the nicest people we know - grezza, but lovely. Just stranièra. Insults (real or perceived) last a hundred years, we've learnt. I just try to be uncommittal and as nice as possible about everyone, and not to gossip. VERY difficult, seeing that it forms the bulk of most conversations. So we take the government apart instead.
My (very English) grandfather, by the way, didn't speak to his brother for about 50 years, until the day he died. In fact, for a very long time we didn't know he had a brother. We never managed to find out what the original problem was, either. So not just Sicilians.

Oh dear Gattina, it's sad when family feuds reach such extremes .... and not to even know the reason why

By the way, I've sent a photo of the aforementioned c'mums in a blog .. as you'll see, my garden is "piccolissimamente" tiny but surprisingly enough gets photographed all the time by the stranieri (mainly from UK) who come for their yoga holidays. In fact, like you say, the number of the locals is dwindling dramatically, the average age of the departed being in the range of 90-95 - there's a sigh of "così giovane" if perchance someone in their 70's or 80's goes on to better pastures. Do you have these printed announcements on the walls where you are, advising of when and where so and so will be having their funeral... often complete with photo and anagraphical details? There's a tangible generation gap, when families made a mass exodus out of these hilltop towns in the 50's and 60's into the cities for work and the land was left in the hands of nonna and nonno and houses were destined to becoming ruins. What's happening is that the holiday makers are liking what they see here and snapping up these quaint houses as holiday homes for say no more than 15 days a year. Unfortunately, the younger families are now escaping from the cities and wanting to go back to their ancestral roots for a better quality of life for their offspring BUT can no longer afford to (if they no longer have nonno or nonna's house), as the tourists' hungry acquisitions has raised the prices far too much for them ....

This area is well known for its olive oil but it's now considered as not being cost effective and too much like hard work by the locals e quindi non vale la pena ... so just a handful of the trees are being exploited for their fruits ..

It isn't only Italy losing their local young people ,it has been happening here for years,and will continue in the same way,as long as there are the 'haves' and 'have nots',Terry, very sad that they can't afford to live in their own villages,all for the sake of some people using the properties for a couple of weeks a year..but money talks...especially in our Yorkshire Dales..and all other desirable places,the world over....in the short time they are there,not much of their money seems to help those communites....

Yes Bloomer it is so very very sad ... and what's also happening is that these places are slowly losing their magical traditions and culture ....

It isn't only the "weekenders" phenomenon here, Bloomer. If it weren't for them, ALL the old houses round here would crumble. The sad fact is that there are very few agricultural jobs here now - it's all been mechanised. Commuting to the bigger towns where the work is just isn't feasible with the time factor and rising price of fuel and train fares. Most Italian people I know are very envious of our living here - they don't particularly want to live in tiny, cramped, expensive apartments in the cities. There just isn't an option. Under the present economic situation, there are stacks of beautiful country houses up for sale - who can afford to run two houses? There are regular meetings for (generally) the older, established inhabitants of our area, in an attempt to celebrate, demonstrate and keep going the crafts and "modo di vivere" of times past. They are fascinating, but I very much doubt it will put off the time when this area becomes a "ghost town" or museum. Terribly sad.

I totally agree with everything you've said Gattina. You've summed it all up so well ....

Exactly,Terry..although in our present economic climate,I know a few who can't afford to keep them on now,and can't sell them either..so maybe,if the locals can manage to get a mortgage,with house prices falling..maybe,just maybe..they might have a chance....if the property giants don't beat them too it !..Our areas are working very hard to try and keep traditions going,and a lot are succeeding..people are much more aware of their historical roots,but a shame most of the industries have disappeared.. local crafts etc ,are fighting back..and well supported....