Aggressive selling

I don't know Gattina it seems greed is a worldwide disease

Yes Pam, but it is prone to stop people like me giving to even the genuine cases, which is upsetting. Who knows who truly needs help and who is just being a criminally greedy fraudster?

I know how you feel Gattina..though in a different way.
I used to buy the Big Issue which is allegedly sold by homeless people..maybe some are genuinely homeless in big cities..but here where I live, most are scroungers. Most of them are on the dole but have housing and new trainers etc..my daughter knows some of them
( not friends) as they live near her..she said to me ages ago..dont give them money! They use it for drugs. Or they have a car etc..seems anyone can get hold of the Magazine and sell it these days.
then there are the people hassling you about giving donations in supermarket entrances..they are so agressive when you dont give them something.
I do give to charities of MY choice and also donate clothes etc to charity shops.
Also begging emails etc etc I could go on and on and on!
We should not be harrassed by anyone!

That must have been frightening for you Gattina. I think something should be done to stop it happening. We haven't got that problem here in this small place, but it has happened to me in a near-by city when I was approached by a woman asking for money. She looked threatening and stood right in front of me, blocking my way - but since it was broad daylight with lots of people about I didn't give her any. - Probably not as bad as what you describe, but it wasn't a pleasant experience at all.
I hope the problem will get sorted out. It's worrying, and I suppose it could make you fearful of going out.

That must have been so frightening for you Gattina, a similar thing happened to my youngest daughter on holiday last year, her first holiday without us, she went with her boyfriend, she's only a tiny little slip of a girl, they were surrounded by several of those sellers selling bracelets, she made it clear she wasn't interested but they seperated her and her boyfriend, she was quite frightened so agreed to buy one just to get away, they told her a price, unfortunately she had no small notes so gave them a 20 euro, quite a lot for a young girl on a small wage, they took the amount for the bracelet plus some 'for the children' were their words, gave her a couple of euros back, only wish I'd been there.

oh how awful for you i know just what you mean, so threatening and intimidating. Pixi I also get harassed in shop entrances etc, makes me stop going to all these shops when i am hassled for money at entrance and checkout when they try to do my packing so they loose out, I do the same as you. Simbad you must have been so mad these people pray on decent folk with good hearts and manners. Just get blunt everyone with a no.

Daughter took us through some appropriate phrases yesterday, so we shall know how to cope next time. Not nice words for a wrinkly to have to use, but we are told it is the only way. She gets begging e-mails, quite often from Russia and Eastern European countries, written in impeccable Italian, so probably centrally organised. Luckily, we don't seem to have been afflicted by those so much, and here we just don't get begging letters - mail costs are too high, and no-one is going to trek round country postboxes with flyers. We do get unexpected callers at our front door from time to time and have heard horrid stories about pretty much being mugged on your own doorstep. Not nice. We have an unofficial neighbourhood watch network going though, and strangers of any kind, especially those on foot, are quickly checked out by the local Vigili.

Sorry to hear of your ordeal Gattina..& the others on here..i think it is getting the same everywhere..it is all down to greed as Pam said...i wonder how many children will be robbed in the streets over xmas..for mobiles,bikes & the new expensive scooters that are all the rage this year...none i hope...

Stay safe, Gattina :o) x

Thank you, TT. You know, thinking about it, they weren't rude or aggressive in the way they spoke to me, but I felt trapped and overwhelmed. OH, who ,looks and is a very kind and gentle man, is targeted a lot by beggars and con-artists. We were window shopping in the city centre a few years back, and when I turned round from a shop, I saw him, perplexed and trapped, a gypsy woman (Roma) with her arms clasped around him, pinning his arms to his sides, whining and pleading and "sobbing". I could see he was really upset so I ran up, prised her hands from him, pushed her away and shouted at her VERY loudly and not very politely. She rounded on me and gave me the evil eye, shouted at me and cursed me very comprehensively. That I could deal with. But I refuse to be blackmailed and menaced into parting with money we haven't got by people who don't appear to be regulated and are probably pocketing everything they collect.

I've read through all the comments on here and can only say 'what is wrong with people these days'. Surely any contribution to charities should be purely voluntary and no-one should be pressured or threatened in any way to give their hard earned cash away. We get a lot of 'begging letters' through the post asking for 'only' £10 per month on a direct debit. I go to work because I need the money, not so I can give it all away to charity.

Read my new blog about the Inland revenue!!!!!!!

At least its fairly easy to see which emails are scams, and mine go straight into junk without opening. Being accosted on the street is horrible but on your own doorstep is worse. Makes you wonder where we are going and how much worse its going to get.
People collecting in shops are legally not supposed even to rattle their tins let alone approach people so it might be worth telling the charities they represent about improper behaviour.

You should experience the viciously tin-rattling nuns down at our local Co-op! Even the local priest, for the first two years we were here, before he cottoned on to the fact that we were tight-fisted heathens, came down to bless the house and a bunch of eggs just before Easter, and expected a fat envelope for his troubles.

terrible for you, its a isgn of life now, awfull but true, take care.

Thank you for your messages, everyone. I think we should ALL take care. xxx

That must have been awful for you Gattina, and there was I thinking you lived in a lovely safe place. It looks so lovely where you live that its hard to imagine these things happening.We get a few kids who sit with a blanket wrapped round them begging for money and we know that they go straight to a pub or take drugs.If they were really genuine they would be going to a salvation army that operates here. They will be getting dole money so why don't they go and find a job.We are lucky in our town as the police move them on and we don't get troubled by them.Keep safe and a happy Christmas to you and your husband.

So sorry to hear that, Gattina. A sighting of a 'tramp' standing outside one of the supermarkets in Potes yesterday with his hand held out is the first sign we've seen here of open begging, but we did have a 'mugging' experience in Rome years ago. We were just strolling around like the tourists we were and I wore my shoulder bag with the strap across my body - 'safer' so I thought, when we were accosted by three children holding a large cardboard begging sign. One of the young (11/12?) girls was pregnant - or appeared to be. They pushed against us talking loudly and waving their hands in our faces and I suddenly heard the magnetic clasp of my bag click. I stepped back, looked in my bag and the young boy (9/10?) had removed my purse with a skill that would have gladdened the heart of any pick-pocket! We 'faced them up' and backed them against a wall and demanded the return of the purse. Eventually the 'pregnant' girl reached beneath her dress and threw my purse - happily with its contents intact - onto the ground. We then allowed them to move quickly away. Partner led me to a nearby bench as I was shaking and there, just behind a car, were two policemen having a quiet chatty conversation! The mind boggles!

After my first daughter was born and grew out of her beautiful little pink outfit that I crocheted with loving care, I thought that a 'fallen girl' might appreciate the outfit for her illigitimate baby, so parceled it up and sent it, with a letter, to the Salvation Army. They sent me a letter of thanks - plus raffle tickets that they expected me to sell on their behalf, then they pestered me every year with cards, labels, raffle tickets until I finally wrote an angry letter saying that one 'good deed' should not illicit floods of begging letters. I never heard from them again!

My parents worked hard all their lives, sometimes having two jobs each to make ends meet; I have worked all my life, paid all taxes, insurances etc. like a good citizen and I therefore retain the adage that 'Charity begins at home' except I add on '.... and stays there!'

OMG, Nariz, what a dreadful experience! You poor thing.
I'm with you all the way with the "Charity begins at home" rule. First take care of yourself so that others don't have to, and those closest to you, then those that truly need help, then maybe, just maybe, if there's anything left, one can start looking round....
Once, OH, being the thoughtful Sweetie that he is, didn't want to give money to beggars, because we had heard that it didn't always go towards food, so he took one of them into a Manchester sandwich bar and told him told choose whatever he wanted. He got an obscene response and the guy wasn't interested in anything but money. Says a lot!
We've always worked to pay our way, and have never asked for handouts, even when we were entitled to them. I have gone scrubbing floors to make ends meet when times got tough. Luckily, Daughter has been brought up with the same ethic. She has been having a particularly hard time this year, but has struggled through with no help from anyone else, and wouldn't dream of asking, either. We're proud of her.

How horrible it must have been for you, (bring back the days when you could leave your doors open and know your home would be safe)

Clarice, you've explained in one sentence why we choose to live where we do. We DO leave our doors unlocked (but not during the tourist season!) and KNOW our home and contents are safe, as do our neighbours. Sadly, I doubt that that kind of trust amongst neighbours will ever be seen again in towns and cities.

We still leave our doors open, despite neighbours' urgent warnings, but only when we are in the vicinity. (we can see our front door from anywhere in the garden) When we go out, though, it's double-locked. People have been known to drive a van up to a house known to be empty for a spell, and systematically strip it over three days. (I told you we were isolated) There is a well used Italian saying "It's nice to trust people, but wiser not to."

Couldn't leave the doors open here I even lock them when I'm hoovering upstairs, wouldn't even leave keys in view near the door, a friend in our street had his car keys stolen from a table near the door and his car stolen in the night, obviously someone handy with a bit of wire.

We always say - "If someone with robbery in mind can get past the village dogs, then they're welcome to what they can take!" ;o)

We moved from a small village where we use to leave windows and doors open into a quiet area in a town with a field on either side of us and I still often forget to close all the windows when I go out , the window cleaner came round one day when I had left one open he left a note through my door .. It's a habit I'm finding hard to break , The world is a different place today and not as nice I'm afraid .......

With you there, Sheilar! I’m medically retired and get Incapacity Benefit and DLA, plus a work pension. Earlier this year I got doorstepped by Action for Blind People – being visually impaired myself, I had no probs with donating to them. I offered £10 a month, but they said they could only accept £8.50, so I signed for that.

A few months later, I got a letter from them: could I increase my donations to £25? No, I damn well couldn’t! and wouldn’t if I could. That’s more than a 300% increase, which is a tad cheeky. Almost wrote back to say if they don’t like what I give, I’ll stop giving. They ask me again, and I will.

Oh, the emails I get calling me “Beloved Friend” and telling me that the sender is dying and wants to give the money to charity and wants to use my bank account for distribution. And the times I’ve won the lottery! And the hundreds of Nigerian princesses whose daddies have millions in the bank but the daughter needs my bank account to access it! Now and then, I reply to a particularly egregious email, saying that the sooner they do the world a favour and *** off and die, the better. I have a dozen filters on my emails, but the occasional one still slips through.

I don’t seem to be bothered much in the street; maybe seeing me with my white walking stick, they think there’d be no point. Though there are people sitting a little way away from some on-street ATMs and by the stations, I have no trouble in saying “no” without breaking step. But how confident I’d feel if they were in my face, and bigger than me besides, I hope I never have to find out.

Some people seem to think that the world owes them a living, so why should they work for it themselves? Though, to be fair, when advertising pushes the latest must-haves so much, it’s not really surprising that young people are brainwashed into believing that the right possessions re needed to be “cool”. And why should they go to the trouble of working for it – assuming that there are jobs available – when they can get other people to support them?

I don’t own a credit card, never have: if I don’t have the money, I do without. Everything in my flat is mine, paid for, owned by me, not by a finance company. But too many people don’t see the point of saving – they want it NOW, at any cost.

There's a fairly new phrase which is used a lot in the press and on television - not always in advertisements, I might add:- "Musthave"
"The 'Musthave' item on your Christmas list............"
Apart from food, warmth, dignity, and a place to lay your head in safety, there is very little in this world that one MUST have.

This is food for thought. I can relate to a lot of what has been said. When I lived in Rome, on the 4th floor of a 7 floor building, each and EVERY time anyone left the flat, even if just for a few minutes, we had to double, treble lock two sets of locks of a steel reinforced door. People on the lower and higher floors have prison-like bars on their windows and balconies. In the City centre, there is the constant trail of aggressive street-sellers and gypsies and beggars on every tourist-ridden corner, with tiny babies draped all over their very young bodies.... and frightening burly thug-looking males lurking in the background to make sure they "work" well and intervene if necessary .... we locals can recognise them from afar - but these poor tourists ....

Now I'm living in the country, I leave the kitchen front door unlocked when I leave for work in the morning, so that my neighbours can pop in every now and then to see if the cats are OK and let them in and out and generally keep an eye on things 'till return in the evening. There is nearly always something on my table for me when I walk in - some piping hot soup, or home made pasta or whatever ... "I made too much so I thought you'd like some" is Ottavia's usual phrase ... the room is often cosy and twinkling with crackling flames as Rosanna will have lit the log fire for me - "it's a bit cold today so I thought I'd ......."

Two totally different worlds - life in the bustling anonymous city is full of these "must-haves" who never seem to ever have enough, whereas the generosity of my little hill-top town neighbours is amazing, who are so grateful for and dignifiedly (does that word exist???!!) make do with what little they have....

You have all made me so grateful I live in a small village. I have never even investigated how to lock the garage door, and I too have never had a credit card. Pretty high up on my "must haves" is self control. If something costs more than you have then tough, you can't afford it. (houses and transport excepted)

Having children at school these days must be so difficult with all the competition for "best" games, trainers etc.
Commerce has taken over Christmas and made a good job of spreading the idea that it is all about lavish presents, expensive decorations and masses of stuff for the children. What happened to the stocking , or at most the pillowcase, holding all the presents? Christmas used to be a lovely time but now its all hassle and worry and expense. Its heartbreaking to hear of families who are still paying for last Christmas when the next one comes around.

Sheesh, what a grouch! Happy Christmas everybody!

Ditto, ditto, ditto, Steragram. I agree with absolutely everything you have said. Except the penultimate sentence, of course!

That rings a bell, Steragram! Control, respect and love should all start with “self-”

Too many people these days refuse to accept responsibility for their own actions – it’s always some else’s fault, never their own. Like children, there must always be somebody else to blame for anything and everything – usually “society”. When a teenager was killed by a train while graffiti’ing a railway bridge, social workers said it was society’s fault because he had nothing else to do. Oh, really? There are counltess other young people in similar circumstances who don’t feel the need to deface the landscape.

The paedophile’s usual excuse is that he was abused as a child – so were other people, but *they* didn’t feel the need to pass it on. The riots last year were “because of social deprivation” – oh, really? If that were true, there’d be riots in the poorest parts of Africa and India every day.

There’s a website for the Stella Awards, for stupid legal actions: a man who was run over while drunk is suing the driver of the car that hit him when he stepped out without warning. Oh, and he’s suing the beer company, too. A woman who smoked for thirty years is suing her doctor for not making her give up. And so on, and on, and on.

shee, talk about the geek shall inherit the earth ...

Is anyone else here (very sad person that I am) who is a fan of Judge Judy? On the face of it, the programme is a tacky, sensationalist American day-time television court-room import, somewhat along the lines of Jerry Springer, but the protagonist is a feisty, intelligent, down-to-earth Jewish "Momma" who also happens to be a very highly regarded family circuit court judge, and she "tells it like it is". She has absolutely no truck whatsoever with wingeing petty criminals who always seem to think that their crimes are someone else's fault, and pretty much strips the flesh from their bones with her outspoken and salty condemnation. It's such a tonic to watch. She is the antidote to so many of the present-day namby pamby "Do-gooders", and OH and I think the British (and every other government) should import her on a very high salary to take over the UK judicial system, and the government and education systems, too. She spreads the gospel of high moral values, respect where it is due, self-reliance, hard work, accountability and honesty. Aren't these virtues everyone should try to embrace as a matter of course? If you get the opportunity, I urge everyone to grit their teeth and watch it, just once.

Yes Gattina, I watch Judge Judy. I do love how she exposes these idiots as complete idiots, if that makes sense.

Would if I could but we don't have a telly. How sad is that?

Not sad at all, Steragram. When we first moved here, we had no telly and no computer for over a year, and we didn't really miss it. We wrote loads of long letters to everyone, and they seemed to enjoy them immensely. We got a lot more done, too, and got out and about more. We do rely on it a lot for current affairs, though, because newspapers here are a bit (obviously) Italy rather than world orientated. We love the documentaries (especially D. Attenborough), things like Gardeners' World and plays, too. There is an awful lot of rubbish though.

me neither, Steragram - I gave up watching in 1999 - I was renting at the time, and that was when the rental was up and not watched since.

I only got a TV several years later to watch my dvds on - if it's not tuned in you don't need a licence, and that's my main reason for not watching - I do'nt mind payin the BBc for watching the BBC channels, but why should I have to pay them for wtching other channels? Do I have to pay Tesco for permission to shop at Sainsbury?

It's amazing how much I don't miss TV - of course, not knowing what I'm missing helps!