Halt..who goes there ?

what a CATastrophe!!! thats worth putting in a book ~ i reckon you could win money for writing that to a magazine!!

excellent blog ~ thanks bloomer.

ps will you be growing giant cat mint again this year???

Have you been waiting patiently ,Sticki? .It certainly was a CATastrophy ..and no,I won't be growing catmint,there isn't room for it to roll around in my garden ! Lol.

well nearly patiently ~ was also impatiently waiting to see stevie tt's amazing christmas decorations.

I haven't seen those..so off to have a butchers ! ..where did that expression come from,I wonder ?

'butchers hook' = look in rhyming slang ~ i googled it.

Brilliant, Bloomer...
... great story :o)

Next time I walk to the Co-Op, there'll be no pussyfooting around ...

.. and I'll keep an eye out for panthers in the pet food aisle ... ;o)

Cheers Sticki..I wouldn't have thought of that..thanks .:o)

Thanks Terra..Lol..and don't buy that sugar coated cereal either..with the pic of the tiger..you don't want to tempt fate .:o)

Lol... and no Kitkats ;o)

..or Whiskas ! :o))

Hahahahaha Brilliant Bloomer. That has made my night. Can see you skulking back into the house ringing 999 !!! :o)) Can hear the young officers back at the Station 'if anyone called Sandra or Russell phone tell em to CAT ch it themselves' :o))))))) Looks like you and I could do a double act for SpecSavers :o)

Lol.

Look out ...

=^..^=

>^..^<

=^..^=

:o)))

glad it made you laugh,N3..all your fault..with your rigid Robin ! I had almost forgotten about it till now..I need therapy again ! ..and now,the cat is out of the bag,big time ! ..as for you Terra..words fail me..or eyes ! Lol.

well the big cat is out of the bag anyway

Lucky for him.I'd say....he was almost Tango'd..oops,I meant Tasered ! Lol.

I dunno Bloomer, first a panda in Terratoonies garden, then a panther in yours. What's going on? lol
Excellent blog Bloomer, in fact it's purrrrrfect!

Lol Bloomer, that was soo funny...just did not know how it was going to end..didnt think it was going to be a pussy cat..lol :o)))

ha ha,Sheilar..we just love our animals,don't we ? good job it wasn't a pink one ..they wouldn't have come at all..just said "yeh,right ..poor thing " ! :o)

Ah,Joanella..the sting in the (cat's ) tail !..sorry,that's bad. !..It was funny....afterwards ..I wanted to go hide among the bushes :o)

omg thats hiLarious!

i think its the way bloomer tells it!!

Wonderful B. but had you all been on the cooking sherry by any chance!! Lol.

It all happens here,Pixi..sadly ! Lol.

good job you didnt hide in the bushes..folk may have thought you were a Panther..lol :o)

Cooking Sherry? Moi ? ..sorry to disappoint you,G...I shared a saucer of milk with the 'big cat' :o))) I drank first ! Lol.

Ha Ha Sandra, dont know why you made such fuss, it was only a Cat-a-calling lol

heh not a dull life then!

funny you should say that,Joanella ..but there was this ........! Lol.( no,not an exclamation mark ! )

not the pink panther??

Very ameowsing!

Just wait till you come over again,Carole....I am going to send you out there ! :o)..ps,went to Compo's today..
mmm :o)

Dont tell Harry he will want to go lol

Definitely not,Pixi..variety is the spice of life,as they say..it
passed the time of day ! ha ha..

Looked more like Clarence,the cross eyed Lion,Sticki..well,as big as ! Lol.

you are just being catty now,Pixi :o)

i wish Harry had been here,Carole ,he is bigger than us ! Lol. Tell him to come in his cat suit,and a pith helmet! ..the mind boggles .Lol.

Rawr!!!!!

Here,kitty,Kitty ! Lol...It didn't know how to 'Rawr ':o))

specially for bloomer and her OH and neighbour:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2sMuVPMkkk

I wonder what I am letting myself in for here..? I am going to save it for tomorrow,Sticki...my fingers are seizing up !

i dont want to spoil the surprise!!

I think I will say goodnight to you all now..it's been a busy night,and I've enjoyed every minute ,reading your comments..thanks..didn't expect so much reaction ! .Think we have all been on form tonight, such good fun,:o)
see you tomorrow..nite nite :o)

lol :D I was very getting very worried for you lol ....

woah - that would have been a real fright for you - I have a book about Leicestershire that also speaks of the sightings of a panther - scary stuff Bloomer - !!!

lol @ Mud!

well Paul we've seen it--ok I know its hard to believe but it was walking calmly up the field early one morning then disappeared across the lane into farmland ( we're away from the village with fields around) three of us saw it !, and twice more it came and never since. The shape of its huge head long body, long legs and even longer tail matched the pictures on the website and we found reported sigtings much further up the lane so not wanting a 'media circus' we didn't report it just watched the website and the sightings tailed off, so suprisingly did the rabbits for a while.....

Oh Bloomer we were half a field away I'd have been petrified!!!
Its' how you tell em' too xxx

the sightings "tailed off" like that :D I believe it to be true yes - do they go for humans ???

Phew!!!!!....you had me in "suspenders" for a while Sandra..lol.....you have missed your vocation....you should be writing books....perhaps a suspense thriller?...
XX

Lol very funny story Bloomer, at least you gave the police officers a laugh makes a change from chasing criminals :-)

Good morning everyone..I didn't dream about the above ,last night..and had the best night's sleep for ages..Just goes to show,you need to get things out in the open ..so to speak.. and would you believe it..!I went to draw the blinds whenI got up .and there he was !!..but has changed his outfit..a blue collar now adorns him,instead of the bright green one..! he stared at me,and just slunk off..maybe he wanted to read his claim to fame on here ! LOl.
Lo,Sticki..just had a look at your link..Great ! I used to love 'Tiger feet'by Mud..saw them a couple of times,in my hey day..:o) ha ha..

Wondered what you meant,Pixi..now I know ! :o)

Aw,bless you Hywel..and we were very worried at the time..now if it had been a similar colouring to Blodyn,we would have known what it was ..and a bit smaller,of course,although she looks as though she is a buxom wench ! Lol.

Paul,there have been a few sightings here over the past year..so maybe that's why the police came..the other embarrassing thing was,that before they arrived,they had contacted various experts,to see if anyone had reported any escaped Panthers,or similar,from licensed keepers..or if one had been let go for some reason..it just got worse :o))

Pam...it's a bit of a sinking feeling ,isn't it ? having had a sighting too.although yours was the real thing ! Poor Russell..he was almost frozen to the spot ! and he doesn't often do any work behind the fence ..it's usually me..my lucky day ! :o))))))

Glad you enjoyed the Thriller,Lou..I bet that desk Sergeant was thinking..'we have two right Divvies here..'.not wrong,was he ? Although ,as it was our neighbour's suggestion..more like 'The three Stooges '! LOl.

I agree,Simbad..a bit of light relief for them..for a change ..and us,afterwards too..:o))

Such a funny story. Glad you posted it. Thanks.

Thanks Alex..I have kept it quiet since August..so thought it was time to 'come out of the closet' ! :o))..Need some humour,especially at this time of year ..Lol.

LOL!! Have just read your hilarious story, Bloomer - and all the comments! Everyone on top form - roaring with laughter here! :D

What a relief Bloomer, could have been a lot worse ! Can you imagine the headlines 'Local man mauled by pet cat as wife cowers in Co-op admiring police man's Taser'
Ps Have you found out the cat's name?

Cats name: Tiny? [he might have been a tiny panther???]

At least it wasn't pink lol

I don't know, but Bloomer's probably known as Catwoman down at the station...

maybe you and Russel should take more water with it, xx

Just watch out,Karen..this might happen to you ..do you have Panthers where you are ? ..glad it made you laugh..comments are brilliant,aren't they ? :o)
I laughed out loud at your comment,Annella..just pictured the scene !.:o)..and as for it's name,I don't really want to get up close and personal .LOl.

If you say so ,Sticki....beginning to feel sorry for it now,it was only looking ! It was us that needed to chill out,not him .:)Wish I knew who its owner is..I'm sure they would be in stitches to see what havoc,their little darling caused

Pink is the new black,Paul..:o) I wish it had been..at least we would have seen it properly against the green of the foliage...:o)

haha,Karen..bur better than Cat Ballou,or Catfish ! Lol.

Lol,Yorkshire ..more tonic water,in my case..or go back to caffeine !.
Forgot to mention also.that area starts off flat behind the fence,then slopes gradually to a deep drop into a little stream at the bottom...it is fairly grown over with Irises etc,in the summer..are you ahead of me ? .that policeman was so near..and could so easily have landed head first into it..never thought to warn him ! Lol...He would have had a very soggy taser....:o))

Nothing worse than a soggy taser............. ;/

LOL! Just realised that 'Cat Fish' is MY BLOOMER, Bloomer!! :))))

lol sandra so funny but can imagine what it must have been like and you just never know, so many sightings of wild cats, so it was possible. but not on this occasion, how funny, bet everyone enjoyed all the excitment really ;o))

Exactly,Karen...to both comments !...a soggy taser,and and your Bloomer .Lol::o))))

It was very funny later,Sanbaz..and something to look back at one day,and say 'remember when..? 'and laugh at it all again..:o)

You caught me cat-napping there, Bloomer........ :)))

no purr oblem,Karen..sorry, best I can muster this morning..! Lol.

You not feline up to it, Bloomer?? Sorry, that was even worse... :/

Not worse,but as bad as ! :o)))..sending you a PM in a minute !:o)

dont be ashamed of yourselves,i used to have a teeny tiny kitten called puski for some reason(he was tiny and cute)when he grew he was about the size of a dog,(we found him in a feild turned out he was half wild cat)scared the hell out of the neighbors and my family and they made me give him to a local farm as they were sick of the police comeing to the door,he would break into peoples houses for food or just to terrorize them and the last straw was when he attacked the postman and chased him down the street,I like to think that he is still alive(he would be forty tho)and some sort of super cat protecting his cat family,merry christmas

LOLOLOL! Got it! Trying to think of something funny to say...but can't - too busy laughing at the image of the bosses reaction! :))))))))

......'Local women arrested after assault on police man. She has denied all charges and insists that she was just trying to dry his Taser at the time of the alleged attack' Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

LOLOL!!!!!

The officer in concern was apparently lured to the scene of the alleged attack after receiving a 999 call from the woman who reported seeing a black panther in her back garden...

...the said officer is currently receiving psychiatric counselling having recently also attended a nasty incident involving flying carrots...

......'The couple deny any substance abuse'

...although both are known to have been engaged in growing their own...what, exactly, has yet to be established following laboratory tests. A number of carrots have been held in evidence pending the results...

News Flash.....
Cat women escapes police custody
Reports just in are saying that the women who was being held after the ''Black Panther'' assault incident has escaped from police custody earlier today. The police are advising that local residents should not approach the women who has severe mental health issues. It is thought that she has also used false identity's and is known to many as ''Bloomer''.

The police also said that they have reason to believe that the 'Black Panther' and the 'Flying Carrots' incidents are linked.

Investigations have revealed that both women are members of a notorious internet gardening gang and may, indeed, be victims themselves.

A public warning has been issued that any contact with this gang may dangerous to mental health. Anyone who has inadvertently come across any of them should seek immediate help.

....Statements taken from former gang members do show that the likelihood of catching GOY Madness is increased during the winter months, incidents were up 90% this time last year with one member claiming to own a magic carpet. There were also disturbing reports of Tomato sniffing in the same period.

Whilst police believe that these women might be targeting policemen in particular, they have urged extra vigilance in being beware of anybody suggesting anything funny to do do with vegetables in the coming winter months.

They also issued a statement that they believe Catwoman has gone to ground.

A reward has been offered by the pet cat's owners for the capture of the women now being called 'Catwomen' by the police. In an appeal to the public earlier they said 'Bagheera was a kind loving cat until the incident, he now refuses to leave the house due to size & image issues. The women should be ashamed of herself.'

NEWS FLASH

Due to the financial reward being offered by Bagheera's owners, there has been a huge increase in the number of unconfirmed sightings of 'Catwoman', the latest being in a local supermarket in the 'own brand' cat food aisle.

....The young shop assistant raised the alarm when a women asked her for a kilo of extra large carrots and a marrow suitable for stuffing with cat food

It is unclear what happened, but it appears that Cat Woman may have suggested something to the manager of the store. He was later seen convulsing in the back of the shop. He is, as yet, unable to give a reasonable account of what took place.

Police are 'very worried about the sudden inclusion of marrows in her M.O.'

Meanwhile back at home Bagheera walks past the mirror door for the 10th time trying to see if his bum really does look that big. He sighs and goes to lie down but can't forget the awful shrieks from that women and the wet man in a hat chasing him with his funny stick, far more scary than any dog he'd ever encountered....

The policeman at the centre of the incident and Bagheera have formed a support group.

'It's the marrow that's worrying us', they said, 'We can only hope that she hasn't joined forces with another 'rogue' member of that gang...'

'We feel sorry for the manager of the shop. Let's hope she wasn't talking about sniffing or licking anything. He's welcome to join our group if it helps.'

I will be back later with any updates but for now over to our African correspondent........

LOL!!

Bagheera said, 'I'm thinking of changing my name to Tiddles, just to dissassociate myself from the whole sorry business...'

We can now confirm,that after taking into account the aforementioned reports..that alleged nutter ,AKA Bloomer,has now been charged with stealing a tin of cat food,from the victim ,now known as Bagheera..but on further information received by the press,on hacking into
the tin,and checking his voicemail,she has been released on license..and no futher action will be taken by BP..real name,Bag Puss, for defamation of character,and eating the evidence,which was not intended for human consumption.....the second charge for meddling with a policeman's taser..and a carrot,has been adjourned till further notice..as the policewoman,also involved in the incident..needs a reconstruction at the site of the crime scene..as she disputes the sighting of a marrow..over now,to our African,or Northamptonshire news rooms..

The Chief Constable has just issued a statement saying, 'We knew that the silly season was approaching but we had no way of knowing that things would get quite so out of hand...Pet owners should be more responsible and keep their pets in and out of reach of deranged women'.

He also added that fact that the tin was hacked did not negate the fact that cat food is not intended for human consumption and may cause death or at the very least a few pulled muscles.

Lol..or pulled legs ? ...what have we started.! Oh,I forgot,it was N3 who should be institutionalised ..I am innocent,I tell you,innocent!..as she said,making a Shepherds pie for tea ,with the contents of a tin with no label !..mmm,needs some seasoning ! :o)

Good evening from News Northants
Police have issued a warning this evening to all members of the GOY cult, they believe that the women involved in the 'Black Panther' attacks may try to post a recipe that contains food unfit for human consumption. By no means should any of the vulnerable members of this cult follow cooking instructions from this person.

Over to you Karen in Africa....

LOL! Just be careful if you get an urge to start bending in ways the human body can't manage...
...and, all things considered, it's probably safer to leave out the carrots from the shepherd's pie!!

Oops! Sorry - was talking to a nutter there and didn't realise I was on air!!

Ahem...African correspondent here...We've just an update that people should be particularly wary of her Shepherd's Pie and special recipe Meat and Potato Pie...

And the Kittycat, especially the economy brands

Sorry we seem to be having trouble with the link to Karen in Africa, we will come back to that report shortly

With or without carrots...

oh dear... I thought that tomato sniffing was over for this year ( which due to the wet summer was not as serious an outbreak) seem to be a new outbreak of carrot licking..... Don't Go Near The Chimney Anella... look what happened before!!

Ah...we seem to be experiencing some technical problems at the moment, so this is your African correspondent signing off temporarily to go and do a feature on 'making garlic bread in Lagos'.

This feature may be available to some of you on Channel Mad at some time in the near future...

T T F N...... as they said many years ago.....

Thank you Karen. We will be back later with a report from Pam at the East Midlands news desk on the outbreak of carrot licking that seems to have hit the UK.

NEWS FLASH
OMG Bloomer AKA Catwomen, 101 comments Lol!...Report from Annella, Northants News...Not stuck up a chimney

oh good--- if only BA travel was here we could have mincepies at your place.....

Pam get your carrot report ready!

crackle...crackle...fizz...reports coming in...blog...GoY...record books...crackle...fizz...chimney?...wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.................

Your breaking up Karen.....or cracking up LOL!!!! Wheeeee
Over and out

Pam reporting from the East Midlands where carrot sniffing is taking over as a passtime fom welly wanging and bale tossing a quieter activity that can be attempted in the safety of your own home-- for the rules I must refer you to our Yorkshire reporter ( as I havn't a clue...and she started it..honest!)

Pam signing off now to sniff no!no!no!.....Eat my carrots....

Thank you Pam in the East Midlands..

And now,for a repeat of NOT the nine o'clock news,..because its only seven!...and don't tell me you are too young to remember !
We heard sadly a short time ago,following the eating of Cat woman's shepherds pie..without carrots..but a flavoursome onion( Spanish)..and a distinctive aroma of tuna,.Her OH has been running around in circles shouting," I am an IAM's cat !..and trying to catch his tail..and other unpleasant activities !She has tried to tell him,there are showers for that kind of thing,and it isn't acceptable to wash in front of the kitchen window...especially when the bowling green spotlights are on...Catwoman has tried her best to restrain him,and is afraid the incident with Bagheera aka Black Panther..aka BagPuss ,has tipped him over the edge..he was last seen skulking in the undergrowth along with a nutty neighbour,a Co-op brand of flea collar,and a dead mouse.. We will interrupt further programmes,if any
new developements occur..except when Masterchef..The Professionals..is being broadcast !..So it's goodnight from me,and goodnight from him ...over to the studio..

Crackle...hisss...what?...roger that...nutty neighbour??....sorry can't hear....cackle....cackle..........wheeeeeeeeee....!

Sorry for the interruption...normal services will resume AMT (African Maybe Time). Thank you for your patience.

Thank you for that report Bloomer, we can only hope that things quieten down there soon. Obviously the troubles have cut links to your area so I am telling you that Ash won the Masterchef title and well deserved it was too. But on a much more sombre note, Ronnie Barker has been dead for some time. Good luck with the kitchen shower.
More news in...Bageera threatens action over can hacking

We have news from Karen in Africa....No sorry we don't, my mistake, sorry again

News just in,that Northants has just been made a separate state,with it's own time zone ..They are now 24 hours in front of the rest of Britain !..Their reporter has only just revealed ,that Ash won Masterchef,which in the rest of the country,we knew last night ! What is going on? Have they been granted special rights,to have a day less of dank miserable weather? We should have been given a referendum !..oh,sorry listeners..I am getting a message in my earhole ..all a terrible mistake..the 'reporter' for that area,was confusing it with Masterchef..the professional,with Michael Roux junior..screened to night,and not the Amateurs ,which was last night ..back to the 'local weather' report for her,I think..and so sorry to hear about Ronnie Barker..I liked him ! :o)....oh,I've been cut off ! buzz...crackle..***wheee ..nee naw,nee naw ...

Thank you once again Bloomer for your report, I have to say I will not be using Michael Roux's pig trotter recipe or eating Iams anywhere in the near future....Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee crackle ****buzz**over and out...

Hello...Hello...Sad news coming in from Africa...
Your correspondent has been temporarily removed. After having been seen laughing hysterically for no apparent reason, there are suspicions that she may actually be a hyena. She is currently undergoing DNA testing in Lagos Zoo.

AND I THOUGHT I WAS MAD!!! Hello you nutters \0/ Thanks for the tip Annella:-) Glad to see the LIS-SIS-Moonie etc spirit is alive and kicking:-)))) I see you have new lodgers in the Home For The Terminally Bewildered. You can always tell when winter's set in can't you lol:-))

K **k** K*** hmmmmmmm........blubbbl.....

jjust bbeeen tto tth ssuuupr mrkt............

nnnneeeddd cccoooofffeeee.......

'Normal service will resumed when possible'

our east midlands reporter is having a lay down in a dark room.....

Thanks for the heads-up, Annella ..

Please can anyone confirm the latest reports ...

Suspicious worldwide increase this Christmas in the demand for Catwoman costumes ... ?

Confusion across the planet between Kit-e-Kat cat food and Kit Kat chocolate bars ... ?

Rumours that Bloomer was last seen dressed as Sylvester, and singing Macavity the Mystery Cat ... ?

News Flash!

Brought to you by our African correspondent who has been released on special (dog) licence.

Reports are coming in through our special bush telegraph that the laboratory test results are finally in. It appears that the carrots were not in fact carrots.

It has been established that they were actually a new hybrid - made from Kitekat, Kit-kats and Catkins.

The resulting plant is a giant pussy (or panther) willow. The effects of exposure to this plant are as yet unknown...scientists are continuing their investigations.

.... another new hybrid has emerged ...

Kit-e-Kat-Kit-Kat-Mint ...
... not to be confused with the less tasty Tiger Lily Mint ..

There's global interest in this new plant ...

It is the number one treat for big cats, little cats ...
in fact cats of all shapes and sizes ..

Growers just can't keep up with the demand ...

Commercial Break :

Yet another hybrid discovery! Kitekat X Gin an' tonic

Katan'tonic the drink for insomniacs everywhere!

News Flash!
Engineers are now testing a new flying machine. They have been experimenting further with Kitekat/Kit-kat hybrids and have made a technological breakthrough.

Designed specifically for travelling to destinations such as Can Cou and Acapulco, the Katapulto is a large metal wrapped flying biscuit, working on the same principal as a magic carpet...except that the take-offs and landings are a little rougher.

..for insomnicats ??? ;o)

and sophisticats... ;)

.. and aristocats ... ;o)

theres a really 21st century development...Technocats....!

.. don't forget the bureaucats ... ;o)

only THOUGHT you were mad,Ba???
Rumour has it that not only are the LIL SIS/MOONIE brigade back...there have been sightings of some of the original members of The TYTS ..or Trendy Young Things
as they are more widely known..,last seen floating down the stream at the bottom of Catwoman's garden in a Catamaran..caterwauling,.in a state of catalepsy,and cataconic posture..on the way to the store to purchase the new Kit-e-Kat-Kit-Kat-mint.
After research into this new product ,not to be confused with recent experiments..i.e .Kitecat/Kit-cat Hybrids,,it has been proven to have side effects of Catarrh,and Cathartic symptoms..but 8 out of 10 cats said,they didn't prefer this ..and quite frankly,who could blame them?.
They are reported to have been seen now, boarding a
Jetcat 2 Katapulco type aircraft to Katmandu..as the high altitude will be a recommended cure for the Catarrh..but sadly,not for the cathartic effect,which may possibly increase...you win some,you lose some !!

Phew...African desk here (but only just)...off air this afternoon due to small electrical fire in studio wall...no-one hurt and nothing blew up (except the wall, well more demolished, really)...Cat-astrophy (yes, I know that one's already been done, but...) averted....

wow... a cat-alogue of events over there in Africa ..!

...a good thing Bloomer is ready with supplies from the Cat-ering Corps...

I was Pet-rified (sorry best I can do until calmed down a bit) since I'm home alone tonight... :/

Oh dear,Karen..overloaded circuit.?.hot brush,hairdryer,pc,washing machine Fangs electric toothbrush?..glad to hear no one hurt...joking apart..Are you ok? it must have been scary..Is Esther not with you, or has she finished for the day!

I have Panther Airways on standby,Terra..all supplies loaded and ready for take off.....Jackal jellies,Fang fruit gums,Sadie satsumas,and Karen Kit-e-cat-Kit-cat mints ..!

Stay safe, Karen ..
I hope you have at least a few creature comforts there ...:o)

Your WALL blew up!!---- I'd be more than Pet-rified!!

I'd cat-agorically cat-erwaul.....

African wiring, Bloomer. One small screwdriver is the electricians kit carried in breast pocket of overalls...
NOBODY here!!!! N is in Benin, Esther is on her day off and Peter (the driver) is away to the drivers party with his fiancée...it's just me and the dawgs....

...and a b****y great big hole in the wall!
(Am about to have something medicinal, shh)

Ooops- meant to say medi-cat-ion

and chocolate if you have some.....wish we could 'Bat over' as bloomer says....xxx

Bloomer ..
you bring a whole new meaning to aircraft cat-ering !

Thanks girls :-)

Got chocolate (a bit melted) and more importantly WINE! lol!

I would like to add that no animals were harmed in the process of events...they wer blissfully asleep in another room...nearer the door!!!!

thank goodness Karen....what a cat-a-lamity!! heres to wine and chocolate and hope you have a better day tomorrow ....xxx

over and out from a relieved reporter in the East Midlands

Oh heck..Hole in the wall is bad..an ATM machine would be just the thing,I'll put one on Panther airways..:o) Sorry,not making light of your situation..get that medi-cat-ion down you !..just seen your comment on another blog..so glad your son will be with you tomorrow..how lovely..how long is he staying with you ?

Thanks Pam. Apart from the big hole in the wall, right of TV (Christmas tree on left), I will have a good day tomorrow...son flying in!

Hope all is well in the East Midlands and will speak later!

Think he is coming in on Panther Airways, Bloomer! Lands at 'Oh God Awful Hour'... Here until 5th Jan :-)))

A ton of Chocolate on its way...and wine..plane ready for take off..just to wet my finger into the wind to send it in the right direction ..and kick start it..we're off...faster than the speed of a Panther ..and crop spraying as we go ! Should be there a week on Friday..Wonder why the pilot has got goggles and a leather hat with earflaps on ? ..cold weather I suppose...!!!

All emergency supplies gratefully accepted, Bloomer!
BTW - are you sure they're earflaps and not cat-flaps? lol!!!!

Of course he is,Karen..he is in the carton with the wine..had to smuggle him aboard...extra baggage charges otherwise...He has been instucted to keep peddling,through the ventilation hole in the floor..so should easily make up the time..ETA tomorrow,at 'Oh God,awful hour.'.but more likely to be at 'B.....y Hell,slow down..'

lol lol lol CAT FLAPS LOL lol LOL

Bloomer ... you there, on your feline airline ...
fasten your seat-belt ...
ready for Christmas cake off ... !!!

Don't be silly,Karen..he would fall through the floor ! definitely earflaps...Lol.

INTERLUDE....
I am losing the will to live !!

I hope you filled him full of beer before you packed him, Bloomer...even if it does make cake-off a bit more tricky.

Thinking about it, cat-flaps would be a bit counterproductive...but are you sure these goggles are not doggles???? (sorry, couldn't resist that!) :-)))))

Don't do that Bloomer......medication!! :-))))

cake off,Karen ???? Lol..pass the medi-cat-ion!!!!
Should feel better after watching the final of 'Strictly come Dancing '!..over and out :o))

Just beware of the cat-walk, if you're jiving with them, Bloomer!!!!!!

I advise that you take your high-heels off...

Oh no...can't think of any 'cat' words:-( Could be I need some cat-a-tonic ha! got one:-)... Is it cat-ching?

Don't worry, Ba.......think we've gone into meltdown...it's going to get worse from here on down... ;)

Good evening Ladies & ....gentlemen? We hope you enjoy your flight with Big Cat Airways. We are ready for cake off so could the lady who is dancing in the fluffy tail end of the plane please take her seat now (sit down Bloomer)
All of those on board using medi..cat..ion should now advise the nearest stewardess so she can confiscate it and have a good time herself during the flight...In the even of turbulence please keep your cat flaps down and use the litter trays provided. Once again thank you for flying with us this evening..

Thank you, Northhants...
Apart from the mad woman who keeps mumbling about big black cats and fazers -or is it tasers??? I don't know...we're ready for cake-off... Beam us up Scottie!!

....Mumble mumble between stewardess's .....did the lady on board from Lagos have her bags checked?...she could be a problem...Naw not with that amount of medication girls! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Good Morning everyone! It's Oh God Awful Hour, here in sunny Lagos...just paws-ing for a coffee...the plane's cat flaps are down and litter trays cleared ready for landing...back with an up-date later in the day...

good morning from the east midlands there have been reports of smugglin on the panther flight of Big Cat Airlines--- all medi-cat-ions (and chocolate) have been consume....oops con-fish-cat-ed
short report this morning as our reporter is going to see Santa Claus today....TTFN.....

pleased reinforce- men-ts are arriving soon Karen xxx

Feline alert .... Scottie has beamed up .. woof woof ... and is chasing pussy-cats all around the air craft ...

We need a cat-spotting specialist to find all the cats .. they're under the seats, in the luggage racks ... everywhere !

We hear there's a lady in Yorkshire who is "blooming" good at spotting cats ... big cats, small cats, black cats ...

Send for Bloomer !

News on Sunday..
Catwoman can now confirm that Panther Airways has arrived safely in Lagos..all contents now being unloaded by various species of cats..but as the journey took a very long time..and the entertainment provided on board ,by the Jetcat2 stewardness,was very limited and boring,..mainly arm waving at several emergency exits..they had to make their own alternative arrangements...I regret to inform you,that unloading will now be delayed,as the passenger list has now increased 10 fold,owing to several kittens being born,all now having dual Nationality....Luckily,there were several extra boxes of Kit-e-cat--Kit-cat -mint on board,and a Catvet,to administer injections,flea collars and sustenance.... .Hope this will not cause any inconvenience to the recipient..Karen France in Africa..Thank you for flying Panther Airways..re.." The hole in the wall",at the final destination,we can now confirm that a 2nd Panther Airways flight has now been scrambled to Lagos,to assist with this dire Emergency..an update will be broadcast shortly,..please tune into Sky cat,news channel,..via blog and pics,to see the latest development...entitled "Help is on its Way" !...This is Catwoman,at News GoY..over and out..

Due to a technical fault no news is available at present, we hope to resume all programs after our African correspondent has had a chance to catch up with her son and fed Bob the builder.....

Good morning all desks!

Due to a sudden increase in activity, your African correspondent has been unable to get to her desk...

Panther Airlines flight London-Lagos arrived late owing to Jetcat 2 stewardesses being unable to prevent all passengers consuming all medi-cat-ion on board the aircraft. The resulting conga eel which was formed got stuck in the bottle-neck at the bar and the stewardesses were forced to flap, not only the cats, but their arms as well.

Son's apple cat now has telephone numbers of several new friends...

The kittens were difficult to find because they had gone into hiding during the rum-puss.

(...and it's only the very last part of this report which cannot be confirmed!!!)

our East Midlands reporter can confirm that our African reporter is now available but the Northern section are under siege from an abundance of turkey feathers causing cat-astrophic insect-erference.......

Thanks for that East Midlands...a consignment of pillowcases is now en-route by flying cat-a-meringue to help with the clean up programme....

CATtle also being flown in to provide milk for the kittens...

Pleased to inform you,that abnormal service is resumed..and the fog of Turkey feathers have now dispersed....The reason the aforementioned kittens can't be found,is because they are still being held in Immigration..after entering the country illegally..awaiting temporary Passcatports,and pussypaws ID stamps..
Parentage is still under DNA scrutiny,but appears to be likely,that the Mother (Spinster of the Parish) is known as
Hussy Pussy,and the Father as Top cat..his words ,not that of his many conquests..who keep insisting 'you are having a cheshire cat laugh,,aren't you '? ...you will be kept informed as and if,the kittens will be released into the custody of Fang and Sadie,in the near future.
Over now to Karenfrance,Africa..or our Northants reporters...

Africa calling...Good Morning!

The kittens, despite their somewhat questionable parentage (TC still denies any involvement and is blaming BP aka BP aka B, a figure who is already known to the police) are being released into the custardy of Sadie and Fang later in the week.

They will spend Christmas Eve and Christmas day at 'Whiskering Paws', a 3star Nigerian holiday resort. These are some really lucky little kittens.

Thank you for that report, Radio Africa...
TC has recently taken a lie detector test,and it is confirmed he is a damned liar..and trying to avoid maintenence payments to all his many children..As Sadie and Fang,are going to be their custodians,..a Carers benefit will be forthcoming,with a Christmas bonus to help fund their stay at the 3 star resort of Whispering Paws....The bonus is a hardship grant,and a one off payment only..It is not means tested.. It can however,be spent on Kitten heeled shoes,if the foster parents so desire ....
Hope the repairs to the 'hole in the wall' were completed to your satisfaction,by the Emergency team sent in the follow up report of..'Help on its way' ...

Reports are coming in that BP aka BP aka B is extremely upset about the fur on his character and is thinking of taking TC to court...'I've had enough to deal with recently', he said, 'You can tell by looking at them that they aren't mine (the kittens). Not one of them is black. Thank goodness that the Dibble Commission are doing something about it'.

East Midland reporter here ' snowed under by Mince pies carrots and brussel sprouts'-- and a new parsnip recipe that uses parmezan cheese---
Help!!---no I'm ok ..I'm ok ... as you were...
averted a cat-asttropheeeee......
just need a bit of fresh air....

R-over and Tr-out.....TTFN

Northants Desk: This is a short bulletin for our correspondent in Africa...Police are examining a blog done recently by 'Cat women' aka Bloomer that divulges information regards a property in Lagos....Karen off the record you may want to check this out as the builders look dodgy ,go to Bloomers blogs 'Help on its way' and beware of brightly coloured diggers. Over and out of it!

Roger that, Northants and thank you for the information!

East Midlands - you have our deepest sympathies...ploughs at the ready!

bright and shiny here today Karen-france-in -Africa, thankyou for your concern but your East Midlands correspondent is slowly surfacing-- hope Santa finds you well on Christmas Day and Rudolph doesn't cause more damage fo your home when he lands on the roof! If you see a little guy in a shiny hat.. beware...

Hello East Midlands! Glad to hear that your preparations are under control and running smoothly...

Hope you and yours have a wonderful holiday and that Santa is good to you all! :))

...still on the look-out for the little guy in the shiny hat and have sent out search party...

suppose he could have changed it for a red one with white fur.....

Have a wonderful Christmas Karen and a peaceful 2012 xxx

Over and out for now, East Midlands...and the very same to you xxx

All under control now,Karen..see SOS blog ...and to you,and all who have made this such fun,.I wish you all a wonderful Christmas,and a very happy and healthy New year..This is,Catwoman,signing off till 2012 ..and thanks for all the laughs .it's been great ! :o)))xxx.

Have a wonderful Christmas, Sandra, and see you in the new year xxx

ps If you hear a noise on your roof tomorrow night, only call the police if you're absolutely sure it's not Rudolph... ;)))) xx

Lol,Karen..might just stay up all night to make sure ..not !xxx

LOLOL! xxx

Hahahahaha! . . . it could only happen to you Bloomer. A great blog and a b****y good laugh for me - thank you. ;-))

Gosh did it take you since christmas to catch up Muddy... :0)).

Afraid it did Pam! (Had an 18 month rough patch and missed a lot of stuff). Back now and trying my best to keep up . . lol! :-))

I can't believe you trawled all the way through this,Muddy....but glad it made you laugh..:o) I have just read through it again too..my,we did have some fun..Lol.
Just what we need on here,a good laugh ..and it's great you are back with us again :o)

It's great to be back mate, thanks. :-))

We certainly do Bloomer.........xxx

We need another one sometime in the future,Muddy and Pam..I might go look in the undergrowth again ,behind the fence,but this year I will need a map and compass ..and my own Taser ! Lol. It is like a mini Forest now,as the trees ,Brambles and bindweed,have taken over..all have grown huge,with all the rain !
I could be some time..I will take my mobile,in case I get lost :o)))

Has it got a satnav in Bloomer...... :0).

Really enjoyed seeing this again too lol:-)

Hiya Ba.....good fun wasn't it. :0)))

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!xxxxxx

Hi Annie
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ;o)))))))))

Seems our vocabulary hasn't inproooooooooooooved...............;0)

Vukiblurry??????

Hi gang..:o) glad to see you again...sorry,Ba..no Satnav,just 'basic instinct' Lol...but I know to turn right by the Co-op..:o)
I think the vukiblurry is just perfick for us,Pam and Annella..we understand it,anyway....wot's the problum?
Wheeeeeeeeeeeee.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

If I turn right by the co op I'd have my nose flat against a brick wall

( :=• I dubbos u dink datts vuune....

Preferable to being mauled by a cat with a delusions of Grandeur,Pam or choked by bind weed.! ..so yes,I dink datts vunne :o)..How I wish I cud rite as elekwuntly as wot ewe dus...:o)))))

And cos it's my blog..na na nana na..this is the 200th comment !!1 Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee:o)

\0/ \0/ \0/. * Bloomers got 200 * \0/ \0/ \0/

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lol,Pam you are a little over the top there..but thank you :o)) xxxxxxxxxx

Ah well you deserve it xxx

All down to Muddy,for reading it ! I'd forgotten all about it..but it cheered me up too :o)xxx

And we need it have you seen the bank holiday forecast. :0(

I have,Pam..dire isn't it ? .so sorry for those who are looking forward to a long weekend from work..last one till "you know when"....groan ! :o(

Don't say it!.....

But you should have fun this year with Thomas xxx

Love this Blog. Made me laugh when I needed it, again ;o))))))))

I wouldn't dare,Pam..I know it is a forbidden word on here,till at least for another 3 months ..thank goodness...!
and I'm sure we will have fun,..but no idea yet what the plans are :o)..I would love to go away,but would hate to miss seeing what the 'man with a sack' brings him :o)
..............
Thanks N3..glad it cheered you up ! Lol..mad,aren't we,when we all get together :o)

Boo and gang have gone off with a tent, camping in Newquay (Wales) this morning, still you get wet on the beach anyway, so rain won't make much difference :-) ..... unless you get flooded:-(
I can't remember if I told you, but I was regularly attacked in my own garden by a three legged ginger cat. He used to hide in ambush waiting for me to pull a weed out or whatever ....then pounce ...I got quite fearful of the red terror ...he used to growl most horribly too!:-)

I hope your crew have good waterproofs. Although after today its supposed to mostly be showers.........and storms here later, its so humid it wouldn't suprise me
What did you do to the cat?

Bloomer some places do good offers to fill the vacancies......they call it. 'twixmas'. :0(

Lol Pam, I know what I'd have liked to do. I wasn't the only one in our cul-de-sac terrorised by him, but he suddenly vanished, maybe his poor owners had moved house and he was off to terrorise a new area, I like to think so:-)

Sorry Ba,but it made me laugh:o) but then you know what a warped sense of humour I have..:o)) I hope Boo and Family have a good holiday..just nice to get away ..

We have been on a couple of those,Pam..and they are really good value..almost didn't get on the last one two years ago...two steps forward,four steps back...on black ice on our uphill road ! :o)

Oops!.....we're on a hill as well but I don't drive out until the gritters been.......

Its chilly this morning after yesterdays storms........here's hoping for an indian summer.....

A bit chilly here too,Pam..put some socks on this morning ! .Very calm though..it's taking a breather for the Bank holiday rain tomorrow..looks like it's going to be a very wet one :o(

Oh dear, I really wanted to go to the local wood fair on beacon hill
but as you can imagine its quite exposed and the carpark is a grassy field........

It keeps changing though,so you might be lucky..I sometimes wonder why I watch the weather forecast..It
now says it will be later in the day tomorrow..It was lovely here,so we decided to drive a short way,park up,and go for a walk..sunny and warm..and ?? as soon as we parked,it poured down...sat and waited..and waited..and drove bavk home...:o( ..you can guess what happened next...big yellow thing came out again ! grrr..

It's been lovely here today, got some gardening done. Dug out chaerophyllum which went berserk this year, keep making space for roses lol and other lovelies:-)

Peter Gibbs (the weather man who hosts GQT) sort of...maybe....if we're very good....promised an azores high by september.....maybe!

It was lovely here too Ba after a damp start, I went out with a friend so no gardening but a nice day

Ah .... the illusive Indian summer Pam, a creature oft promised, but seldom seen ..... I believe it:-) Glad you had a nice day too:-)

Just heard on Today prog radio4, from a professor of Environmental of Studies Bristol Uni, that there are indeed very large cats as long as four feet from nose to tail living in this Country. They are feral cats which, in order to fill the large predator gap, have evolved into a much bigger cat. He said in Australia, they have killed similar ones measuring over 5 feet long. They are definitely from domesticated pussies gone feral:-)

I saw and heard that yesterday too,Ba..and wondered if anyone would think of me ! Lol..so...I'm not the only one with a story to tell..just glad mine din't get as far as the press though ! :o)...only a few thousand on Goy, if they chose to read it :o))

I bet you're glad yours wasn't over 5 feet long :-)

I am,Ba..but they say size isn't everything ! ..allegedly :o)